【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 ０００ 第四次作业】

０００UID: 2601060

It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.



Do students have to choose difficult classes whether they could get good score? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that interesting is the fundamental of study. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that choose difficult classes is better for students whether they could get top grades. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim; the first one has to goes on the psychology of teenagers. For one thing, there is no denying that difficult classes will build up the ability of how to deal with difficulty. Such ability will surely spark students' career life in the future. Besides, most difficult classes are boring and hard to understand.
Thus, the patience of students will, in turn, enhance by these classes. A survey conducted by Global Education Committee indicates that patients and the ability to deal with difficult are essential to success people.

In addition, why so many school and individuals are fond of let students choose difficult classes is that these class is good for students' knowledge and the future career life.. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that different class is different difficult for individuals(这句话帮我换个同意表达 实在太绕了 谢谢). As for me, arts and music is a nightmare of mine study life, but for my friends music class is interesting and easy to learn. Thus, if students learn difficult and different class, it is a good way for them to broad their knowledge. Nothing is more significant then earn acknowledge for students. Besides, we can not emphasize too much the useful of some difficult class for students further career life. Like the C++, which the nick name is Bible for engineers, is dally used in engineers’ career.

On the other hand, one argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that low score may be hurt the enthusiasm of students. Although I concede this point, in my observation, the difficult class is just the chance to demonstrate the students themselves. One needs look no further than some famous finger to find amply evidences that this is the case. For instance, most of the physics class grades of Yang Zhenning get A which is rarely in his university. Such high score surely spark his enthusiasm of physics.（出名的都是学习不好的～谁给我想个出名学习好的例子～）

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, top grades surely could build up the confidence of students. Other more fundamental needs of juveniles, such as broad knowledge and build up patients, are more well-met by difficult classes than by top grades. In the final analysis, so huge benefits the difficult classes is that we can not afford to ignore it. Consequently, it is better for college students to choose difficult classes.

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

出名的学习不好的 多了
爱因斯坦啊 最典型了啊

angeloolUID: 166036

It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.

Do students have to choose difficult classes whether no matter they could get good score or not? There is no consensus among people. Some people argue that interesting is the fundamental of
to study. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that chooseing difficult classes is better for students whether they could get top grades. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim; the first one has to goes on the psychology of teenagers. For one thing, there is no denying that difficult classes will build up the ability of how to deal with difficulty. Such ability will surely spark students' career life in the future. Besides, most difficult classes are boring and hard to understand.

Thus, the patience of students will, in turn, enhance by these classes. A survey conducted by Global Education Committee indicates that patients patience and the ability to deal with difficult（这种语法错误有点多哦，注意词性…后面就不做改正了，用紫色标出） are essential to the success of the people.

In addition, why so many school and individuals are fond of let students choose difficult classes is that these class is good for students' knowledge and the future career life.. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that different class is different difficult for individuals(这句话帮我换个同意表达 实在太绕了 谢谢). One class is difficult or not is totally due to the individual who takes that lesson. As for me, arts and music is a nightmare of mine study life, but for my friends music class is interesting and easy to learn（music 可以被learn，music class貌似不可以）. Thus, if students learn difficult and different class（这是什么意思啊？）, it is a good way for them to broad their knowledge. Nothing is more significant then earn acknowledge for students. Besides, we can not emphasize too much on the useful of some difficult class for students further career life. Like the C++, which the nick name is Bible for engineers, is dally used in engineers’ career.

On the other hand, one argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that low score may be hurt the enthusiasm feeling of students. Although I concede this point, in my observation, the difficult class is just the chance to demonstrate the students themselves. One needs look no further than some famous finger to find amply evidences that this is the case. For instance, most of the physics class grades of Yang Zhenning get A which is rarely in his university. Such high score surely spark his enthusiasm of physics.（出名的都是学习不好的～谁给我想个出名学习好的例子～）

In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments. Thus, top grades surely could build up the confidence of students. Other more fundamental needs of juveniles, such as broad knowledge and build up patients, are more well-met by difficult classes than by top grades. In the final analysis, so huge benefits of the difficult classes is that we can not afford to ignore it. Consequently, it is better for college students to choose difficult classes.

小评：
几点建议吧。
1.
用词前一定要先明白其用法，不确定一定要查查字典。http://www.ldoceonline.com/
2.
先从练习简单句开始，其实写好简单句也是一件不易的事情，慢慢再加长。（我并不爱说中文思维什么的，毕竟大家都是用中文先思考出的，但是用语和句式一定要正规。）
3.
建议先写个提纲，可能并不是很爱听。可是我读下来一遍，并不能很轻松的理解作者的论点和理由。一开始应该先区分开让步段落和主旨段落，这样会易读一些。
加油！

alexdelUID: 2265655

It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.

     Do students have to choose difficult classes whether they could get good score?（这种问法太牵强了，have to的语气远强于题目的”it is better..”） There is no consensus among people. Some(+people,因为不正式化表达其中一些，其中又一些some…,some…才作名词，我记得是这样，反对请告诉我一下，多谢) argue that interesting is the fundamental of study. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that choose difficult classes is better for students (+no matter,语法我分析不出来，但是不加我不舒服)whether they could get top grades. My reasons will be presented as follows.
       There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim;（既然前面说了原因要在下面列出来那这句不是很重复？） the first one has to goes on the psychology of teenagers（这种句式没见过）. For one thing, there is no denying(debate) that difficult classes will build up the ability of how to deal with difficulty(ability of dealing with difficulty,这整句话写得有点别扭). Such ability will surely spark students' career life in the future. Besides, most difficult classes are boring and hard to understand.
       Thus, the patience of students will, in turn（什么意思？如果是表因果，与thus重复，如果表轮流，语意不大合适吧）, enhance by these classes. A survey conducted by Global Education Committee indicates that patients（patience） and the ability to deal with difficult(difficulty) are(is) essential to success(successful) people.In addition, why so many school(s) and individuals are fond of let(letting) students choose difficult classes is that these class(classes) is(are) good for students' knowledge and the future career life(lives).. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that different class is different difficult for individuals(这句话帮我换个同意表达 实在太绕了 谢谢that one class feels difficult on different degrees for different individuals). As for me, arts and music is a nightmare of mine（my） study life, but for my friends music class is interesting and easy to learn. Thus, if students learn difficult and different class(classes), it is a good way for them to broad(broaden) their knowledge. Nothing is more significant then earn acknowledge for students. Besides, we can not emphasize too much the useful of some difficult class for students further career life. Like the C++, (of) which the nick name is Bible for engineers（既然是昵称，首字母应该大写吧？）, is dally(daily,这段笔误太多了，就不改了） used in engineers’ career.
       On the other hand, one(the,因为后文用了the one,应该保持队形：) argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that low score may be（去掉） hurt the enthusiasm of students. Although I concede this point, in my observation, the difficult class is just the chance to demonstrate the students themselves.（这两句逻辑关系很奇怪，既要反驳，还要先让步，关键是让步那一下似乎把反驳的余地给让掉了） One needs look no further than some famous finger to find amply evidences that this is the case. For instance, most of the physics class grades of Yang Zhenning get A which is rarely in his university (+classes意思会明了一点). Such high score surely spark his enthusiasm of physics.（出名的都是学习不好的～谁给我想个出名学习好的例子～）
          In sum, this issue is a complex one which requires subjective judgments (+to figure out). Thus, top grades surely could build up the confidence of students. Other more(去掉) fundamental needs of juveniles, such as broad(broadening) knowledge and build(building) up patients, are more well-met by difficult classes than by top grades. In the final analysis, so huge benefits the difficult classes is（make,否则不通） that we can not afford to ignore it. Consequently, it is better for college students to choose difficult classes.（不说出对比对象的话这句话貌似歧义）

1。结构感觉有点混乱，第二段the first one之后就没有明确指出the second one。我理解的大致结构是第一段稍作让步，第二段开始指出选难课程在心理（耐心）上有益和在知识上有益两个方面，on one hand之后是详细讲述知识上有益的两个论据。不知道这么理解对不对？按照这么理解的话，LZ的分段方法很值得商榷。
2。没有主题句，或者主题句太长太复杂,加上前面说的分段问题，导致论点和分论点的界限不够鲜明。
3。开头结尾都太长。
4。几个建议：一是希望楼主写完后自己先检查检查，把一些理应解决的问题比如笔误先解决掉，为修改的人提供方便。
                   二是通篇感觉很多句式很牵强，改也不是，不改也不是（大部分都没改）建议那些很难表达的意思大句化小，小句化了。特别是 在 文章中还留下未完成的句式给修改的人写，总归不大合适吧：）我想如果一句话你努力了都表达不出来，别人也好不到哪里去，这一定不是一个好句子，那最好的办法就是想办法不要它。
                    三有不同意见请留贴反驳我。

０００UID: 2601060

感谢ｌｓ两位修改～～收获很大～～