Argument169【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】2.7作业 by noheven

nohevenUID: 2447539

TOPIC:ARGUMENT169 - The following appeared in a letter from a department chairpersonto the president of Pierce University.

"Somestudies conducted by Bronston College, which is alsolocated in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors arehappier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the samegeographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most giftedteachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entirestaff, we at Pierce University should offeremployment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannotexpect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, themoney invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouseshave a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept ouroffers."

WORDS:431
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009/2/17 16:12:23


In this letter, the speaker suggest tooffer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member to attract the mostgifted teachers and researchers as well as to increase the morale of the entirestaff because some studies conducted by Bronston College show that professorsare happier having their spouses around. This suggestion is based on some unwarrantedevidence which turn it open to doubt.


First, the speaker makes a hasty analogybetween Bronston Collegeand Pierce University. Even they are also locatedin a small town; there are plenty of differences between them, such as the contentsand focuses of their researching, the age groups of faculty, the funding oftheir schools and the surroundings of their campus. Any of them could lead tototally different result of survey. Without clear and enough evidence, thespeaker should not use the result of Bronston College’s survey.


Secondly, there is no evidence to show therelationship between the family employment situations of professors and themorale of entire staff. The speaker just assumes that if the professors happierwith their spouses around in small town then the whole morale of entire staffwill increase as a result without any evidence or analysis. Perhaps even theprofessors feels happier with their spouses working in the same geographic areawhile the other staff who do not enjoy this measure may not have the similarfeelings; or even worse, they will feel unjustified then have the moralegetting down.



Thirdly, though offering employment to thespouse of teachers and researchers would attract some people to study and workin Pierce University;there still no evidence to reveal that this group is the most gifted groupwhich is needed by Pierce University. As we know,there are oceans of factors influencing people to choose jobs, such as salary,chance of promoting, the location of working place; people consider all of themthen make a decision. How can Pierce University expect thatonly one benefit will attract the most gifted groups? On the other hand, ittotally perhaps that the most gift researchers pay much more attention on someother factors, the equipment of labs, the studying level of college, thesalary, etc.



In sum, the speaker acclaims on somequestionable studies and analogies without considering more factors andsituations. For better access, there should be more survey about the familysituations and preferences of the professors and other staffs in Pierce University.At the same time, the site situation and the other methods to create a betterwork system should also be taken into consideration.

NormalFuJenUID: 2571208

In this letter, the speaker suggest to offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member to attract the most gifted teachers and researchers as well as to increase the morale of the entire staff because some studies conducted by Bronston College show that professors are happier having their spouses around. This suggestion is based on some unwarranted evidence which turn it open to doubt.

First, the speaker makes a hasty analogy between Bronston College and Pierce University. Even they are also（是不是该用both） located in a small town(这个不能用a small town 应该是small towns); there are plenty of differences between them, such as the contents and focuses of their researching, the age groups of faculty, the funding of their schools and the surroundings of their campus. Any of them could lead to totally different result of survey. Without clear and enough evidence, the speaker should not use the result of Bronston College’s survey.这段话的认证不是特别清晰，说服力不是特别强。应该加上一句：the arguer fails to convince me that the two universities are comparable at every aspect这之类的话。

Secondly, there is no evidence to show the relationship between the family employment situations of professors and the morale of entire staff. The speaker just assumes that if the professors happier with their spouses around in small town then the whole morale of entire staff will increase as a result without any evidence or analysis.（这句话要改进一下，看起来不那么地道） Perhaps even the professors feels happier with their spouses working in the same geographic area while the other staff who do not enjoy this measure may not have the similar feelings; or even worse, they will feel unjustified then have the morale getting down. 这段话也还成。


Thirdly, though offering employment to the spouse of teachers and researchers would attract some people to study and work in Pierce University; there still no evidence to reveal that this group is the most gifted group which is needed by Pierce University. As we know, there are oceans of factors influencing people to choose jobs, such as salary, chance of promoting, the location of working place; people consider all of them then make a decision. How can Pierce University expect that only one benefit will attract the most gifted groups? On the other hand, it totally perhaps that the most gift researchers pay much more attention on some other factors, the equipment of labs, the studying level of college, the salary, etc.这段话写得不错。

综上来说，前两段认证并不充分，话说得也不是特别有力，有待在语言组织上改进。

In sum, the speaker acclaims on somequestionable studies and analogies without considering more factors andsituations. For better access, there should be more survey about the familysituations and preferences of the professors and other staffs in Pierce University.At the same time, the site situation and the other methods to create a betterwork system should also be taken into consideration.