【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 lewinsky第六次作业】

lewinskyUID: 2479218

Last summer, my parents and i have a travel to the Three Gorges which is an unforgetable experience to us. Despite it is a long-distance traveling we've decided to visit there by ourselves. The first traveling to our family, unexpectably, turned out to be unsuccessful which resulted from losing our way on the road. Ultimately, thanks to the help of local traveling agency,our family could share the happiness and satisfaction with other friends. I undoubtedly prefer to travele in a group led by a tour guide.
   The threshold reason why i would like to select to a conducted tour lies in the fact that it is an optimal method to save our time. The opportunity of traveling, Currently, is rare to most people due to quicken-tempo society which coerce us into traveling in limited time. It is tour guide that supplement which helps visitors arrange their scheduales and routes efficiently. According to my experience, when we tried to search the way to the Three Gorges, merely a detailed map of local district, even abundantly filled with illustrations, is at most useless.
   Furthermore, traveling in a group is more likely to bring happiness and reduce the cost of tour. In most cases, we don't concern about where we are going to , on the other hand, we tend to take account of the people we company with.While we are chatting with others and sharing the impression of scenery we have experienced during the trip is kind of happiness which we may never have by one sigle person.Meanwhile, group members might undertake extra cost of traveling with us together,at least we shold assume the whole expenditure ourselves. In other words, traveling in a group which appear to address the needs of citizens is an ecnomic way to us.
   All in all, traveling in a group led by a tour guide is my primary choice if i decide to go trip without hesitation.

lewinskyUID: 2479218

才从外面回家上网，寄托竟然可以上了。。。。

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

Last summer, my parents and i(I) have(had) a travel to the Three Gorges which is an unforgetable (unforgettable)experience to us. Despite it is a long-distance traveling we've decided to visit there by ourselves. The first traveling(用travel就好) to our family, unexpectably(unexpectedly), turned out to be unsuccessful which resulted from losing our way on the road. Ultimately, thanks to the help of local traveling agency, our family could share the happiness and satisfaction with other friends. I undoubtedly prefer to travele（travel） in a group led by a tour guide.

The threshold reason why i would like to select to a conducted tour lies in the fact that it is an optimal method to save our time. The opportunity of traveling（travel. Traveling确实不是太舒服）, Currently, is rare to most people due to quicken-tempo society which coerce us into traveling in limited time. It is tour guide that supplement which helps visitors arrange their scheduales（schedules） and routes efficiently. According to my experience, when we tried to search the way to the Three Gorges, merely a detailed map of local district, even abundantly filled with illustrations, is at most useless.(at most是不是笔误还是什么用法，感觉不太对)

Furthermore, traveling in a group is more likely to bring happiness and reduce the cost of tour. In most cases, we don't concern about where we are going to , on the other hand（一般是与on one hand一起用，好像没有单独用的）, we tend to take account of the people we company with（company作陪伴讲好像只有名词形式，如果要用可以说who keep us company）. While we are chatting with others and sharing the impression of scenery we have experienced during the trip is kind of happiness which we may never have by one sigle（single） person.(这个句子没主语啊) Meanwhile, group members might undertake extra cost of traveling with us together, at least（at least换成otherwise，要不逻辑不通） we shold（should） assume the whole expenditure ourselves. In other words, traveling in a group which appear to address the needs of citizens is an ecnomic way to us.

All in all, traveling in a group led by a tour guide is my primary choice if i decide to go trip（go on a trip） without hesitation.


总的来说逻辑的说理比较通顺。
1.第一段的引出话题的例子很生动。形式也挺好，只是略显长了一些，看是否能更精简，使开头更利索。
2.结构合理，逻辑也不错。
3.作者在写作的过程中小错误比较多。一些词语及句子的运用比较生疏，词汇及句子还需不断的揣摩及练习，单词多查用法。
咱们共同提高～～有问题咱们QQ再讨论……:loveliness:

neozhongnlUID: 2448721

Last summer, my parents and i have a travel to the Three Gorges which is an unforgetable experience to us. Despite （THE FACT THAT） it is a long-distance traveling we've decided to visit there by ourselves. The first traveling to（OF） our family, unexpectably, turned out to be unsuccessful which resulted from（IN） losing our way on the road. Ultimately,（感觉比较怪怪） thanks to the help of local traveling agency,our family could share the happiness and satisfaction with other friends. I undoubtedly prefer to travele in a group led by a tour guide.（第一段表明观点即可，例子可以后面举，建议）& {6 Q( ]( H4 T/ H9 L3 j
   The threshold reason why i would like to select to a conducted tour lies in the fact that it is an optimal method to save our time. The opportunity of traveling, Currently, is rare to most people due to quicken-tempo society which coerce us into traveling in limited time. It is tour guide that supplement which helps visitors arrange their scheduales and routes efficiently. According to my experience, when we tried to search the way to the Three Gorges, merely a detailed map of local district, even abundantly filled with illustrations, is at most useless.
   Furthermore, traveling in a group is more likely to bring happiness and reduce the cost of tour. In most cases, we don't concern about where we are going to , on the other hand, we tend to take account of the people we company with.While we are chatting with others and sharing the impression of scenery we have experienced during the trip is kind of happiness which we may never have by one sigle person.Meanwhile, group members might undertake extra cost of traveling with us together,at least we shold assume the whole expenditure ourselves. In other words, traveling in a group which appear to address the needs of citizens is an ecnomic way to us.
   All in all, traveling in a group led by a tour guide is my primary choice if i decide to go trip without hesitation.
（总结段比较弱）