[TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 lewinsky 第7次作业]

lewinskyUID: 2479218

Recently a multitude of People, who spend too much time on their personal preference, allege that we live in a world where our mind is exempted from the fetters of convention and at the same time becomes more and more unconstrained. I totally disagree with this statement just because a high percentage of people who cannot escape from reality still do what they should do.
  To begin with, when it comes to particular periods of high school in which students are engaged, following their parents and administrators' direction is what they should do. The decisions about their curriculum choices, intersts, and other minor selections, for the most part students themselves, and neither parents nor teachers, should be the final decision-makers. Apparently, in that case, youngster tend to do what they unwill to rather than they like to.
  Futhermore, not everyone likes their current occupations,however, we have to admit that those who do the job which at least live hand to mouth. Painstaking as they struggle to achieve the goal is, they are absolutely aware of a better job which they expect to do is waiting for them. From a recent statistics by TIMES we can clearly see that 65% people around world persist in doing their jobs even if they show indifferent to them. In other words, what most people do nowadays is they should do rather than they like to do.
  To sum up, in spite of the civilization development which indeed has offered us opportunities to take to we like, we cannot draw a conclusion that people spend too much time on personal enjoyment.

lewinskyUID: 2479218

28号考试
   bless me~

mimicaUID: 2457275

Recently a multitude of People, who spend too much time on their personal preference, allege that we live in a world where our mind is exempted from the fetters of convention and at the same time becomes more and more unconstrained. I totally disagree with this statement just because a high percentage of people who cannot escape from reality still do what they should do.

To begin with, when it comes to particular periods of high school in which students are engaged, following their parents and administrators' direction is what they should do. The decisions about their curriculum choices, intersts, and other minor selections, for the most part students themselves, and neither parents nor teachers, should be the final decision-makers. Apparently, in that case, youngster tend to do what they unwill to rather than they like to(这一句是要说学生学习并不是他们感兴趣的事儿

  Futhermore, not everyone likes their current occupations,however, we have to admit that those who do the job which at least live hand to mouth. Painstaking as they struggle to achieve the goal is, they are absolutely aware of a better job which they expect to do is waiting for them. From a recent statistics by TIMES we can clearly see that 65% people around world persist in doing their jobs even if they show indifferent to them. In other words, what most people do nowadays is they should do rather than they like to do.

To sum up, in spite of the civilization development which indeed has offered us opportunities to take to we like, we cannot draw a conclusion that people spend too much time on personal enjoyment.

字数不够，论证不够有力，没什么错儿，也没有很出彩的地方，wish you good luck.

chelseajcoleUID: 2589519

Recently a multitude of People, who spend too much time on their personal preference, allege that we live in a world where our mind is exempted from the fetters of convention (这里写的好）and at the same time becomes more and more unconstrained. I totally disagree with this statement just because a high percentage of people who cannot escape from reality still do what they should do.
（开头还不错，提出观点挺自然的）

  To begin with, when it comes to particular periods of high school in which students are engaged, following their parents and administrators' direction is what they should do. The decisions about their curriculum choices, intersts, （拼错）and other minor selections, for the most part students themselves,（没看懂） and neither parents nor teachers, should be the final decision-makers. Apparently, in that case, youngster tend to do what they unwill to rather than they like to.（这里可以加一个例子，可以是自己的一个亲身经历，来加强你的论述）
  Futhermore, not everyone likes（like） their current occupations,however, we have to admit that those who do the job which at least live hand to mouth. Painstaking as they struggle to achieve the goal is, they are absolutely aware of a better job which they expect to do is waiting for them. From a recent statistics by TIMES we can clearly see that 65% people around world persist in doing their jobs even if they show indifferent to them. In other words, what most people do nowadays is they should do rather than they like to do.（这个数据统计好像不能说明主题吧）

To sum up, in spite of the civilization development which indeed has offered us opportunities to take to we like, we cannot draw a conclusion that people spend too much time on personal enjoyment.