Issue51【0906G背水一战三月小组】第1次作业 By fireofnight

fireofnightUID??2447280

欢迎拍砖..

The speaker asserts that, to make educationtruly effective, students require specifically designed ways of instructingthat meets individuals' needs and interests. I agree with the assertion insofar that individuals participating in the society should be more or less specialized in certain aspects which can be quite differed from others. However, onbalance, the speaker oversimplified the purpose of education and overlooks the advantages of education designed for all common students.
感觉我的一一段还有待提高，各位有什么建议？
We keep hearing from the news that some children had shown outstanding talents when they were still little kids, but,after a few years, the reality turns out that these prodigies are still standing with other normal children, which raises critics that questioning the education system. It is ture that some education systems, especially some education before university, are trying to train their students in a formalized process and giving them few choice to select what they are really interested in. Admittedly, formalized training system teaches students to obey theregulations of the society and how to be a normal people that playing their roles as most of other people. However, such system could become an obstacle when it applies to a student with outstanding intelligent that requires special training. An apt example will be Bill Gates, known as one of therichest people in the world and started a new epoch of the software industry,having quitted his university when he realized the courses offered by school are not what he expected and saw the prospection of DOS. There is no doubt that he will not accomplish these if he followed exactly what his professor said, "The world only needs no more than 5 micro computers."
我的第二段稍长了些..
However, the speaker narrows the purpose of education. Although it is true that cultivating elites from those prodigies is playing an important role, the major class that forms this society is normal populace with average abilities. A formalized training (compare to thespecifically designed education) will be sufficient for most people's needs.For instance, a significant feature that reflects the standard of living of a certain society is the standard of education level, which is a statics data collected over that society. From this point of view, a formalized training would be needed to increase standard of education level of a large amount of people, especially in some developing country in which a mass amount of people are even illiterates and designed education for each individual would not be imaginable. After all, the purpose of education, from my point of view, is to progressing our society and increase people's standardof living.

Moreover, despite how special a prodigy is,requires different education from anyone else, ones who suppose to participatein the mundane community are required to be trained as normal person in some aspects. It is not first time we hear that some people are so outstanding with their talents that becoming arrogant to others, which makes him hard to work together with. Also, we were told that some prodigies do not know how to live with themselves and have to stay with their parents as long as possible. Or even, without proper conducting on moral courses, some people used their gifted talents on mischievous issues. Without a common education, it would be possible that these people be completely lacerated from the world. In short, elites are trained to be leaders in certain areas, but before that, they need to learn how to participate in this society.

In conclusion, it is convincing that specifically designed education is beneficial to individuals, but formalized training also plays signification role in students' career and should not be overlooked.


我在北美，现在已经晚上了，先去睡，明天还要上班..
arg 明早爬起来写，应该赶得上

加油

发现空格有些问题，改了改

:$

yunfeiyang4everUID??2604917

The speaker asserts that, to make education truly effective, students require specifically designed ways of instructing that meets individuals' needs and interests. I agree with the assertion insofar that individuals participating in the society should be more or less specialized in certain aspects which can be quite differed from others. However, on balance, the speaker oversimplified the purpose of education and overlooks the advantages of education designed for all common students.(这一句先说简单化了purpose of education，然后说忽视了education designed for all common students的优势，感觉这一整句跟上一句衔接不连贯，一下子从differed from others转到“教育目的”这么抽象的概念上有点突兀，个人觉得应该是先忽视了education designed for all common students的优势，进而简单化了教育的目的)

We keep hearing from the news that some children had shown outstanding talents when they were still little kids, but, after a few years, the reality turns out that these prodigies are still standing with other normal children, which raises critics that questioning the education system. It is ture(true替换) that some education systems, especially some education before university, are trying to train their students in a formalized process and giving them few choice to select what they are really interested in. Admittedly, formalized training system teaches students to obey there gulations(??什么意思) of the society and how to be a normal people that playing their roles as most of other people. However, such system could become an obstacle when it applies to a student with outstanding intelligent that requires special training. An apt example will be Bill Gates, known as one of the richest people in the world and started a new epoch of the software industry, having quitted his university when he realized the courses offered by school are not what he expected and saw the prospection of DOS. There is no doubt that he will not accomplish these if he followed exactly what his professor said, "The world only needs no more than 5 micro computers."(这一段个人觉得结论句不够明显)
(由于第一段的建议，所以以下两段的顺序对调使得跟首段一一对应)
However, the speaker narrows the purpose of education. Although it is true that cultivating elites from those prodigies is playing an important role, the major class that forms this society is normal populace with average abilities. A formalized training (compare to the specifically designed education) will be sufficient for most people's needs. For instance, a significant feature that reflects the standard of living of a certain society is the standard of education level, which is a statics data collected over that society. From this point of view, a formalized training would be needed to increase standard of education level of a large amount of people, especially in some developing country in which a mass amount of people are even illiterates and designed education for each individual would not be imaginable. After all, the purpose of education, from my point of view, is to progressing our society and increase people's standard of living.(其实个人觉得最后一句可以放到本段的For instance一句前面，因为作者一开始说the speaker简化了教育的目的，然后提出“个人觉得教育的目的应该是什么”，逻辑上更严谨一些，之后再论证自己提出的观点就更好了)

Moreover, despite how special a prodigy is, requires different education from anyone else, ones who suppose to participate in the mundane community are required to be trained as normal person in some aspects. It is not first time we hear that some people are so outstanding with their talents that becoming arrogant to others, which makes him hard to work together with. Also, we were told that some prodigies do not know how to live with themselves and have to stay with their parents as long as possible. Or even, without proper conducting on moral courses, some people used their gifted talents on mischievous issues. Without a common education, it would be possible that these people be completely lacerated from the world. In short, elites are trained to be leaders in certain areas, but before that, they need to learn how to participate in this society.

In conclusion, it is convincing that specifically designed education is beneficial to individuals, but formalized training also plays signification role in students' career and should not be overlooked.(个人觉得结尾有些短，与开头对应上了两点，开头中提到的the purpose of education在结尾并没有对应上)

还是总结一下吧，看了作者两篇文章，感觉作者的语言运用的很出色！
这篇issue的逻辑结构个人觉得不是很严密，都用红色表明，如有不当之处，请作者谅解！
希望能与作者一起进步！大家一起加油！