TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组rainbowstarwqc 的第八次作业

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.（08.3.15)
According to the statistic from Nature, there are over 100 species die out every second, parallelly, there are thousands of acres of land cultivated by we human beings, which are allocated to farms, factories, etc. I deem this behavior as extremely wrong, for extinctions of these species will not only jeopardize the whole ecological system, but also poison ourselves , especially our offspring.


In the first place, grab land from those endangered animals will accelerate their extinction, which will disturb the balance of nature, even collapse . As we all know, every creatures are organic ingredients of eco-system, we human as a whole has no exception. If we insist our invasion, those animals would die out in front of our powerful technology. Under that circumstance, due to the loss of important knots in food chain, like predators or some insects, the whole system will collapse, consequently , properly we have to fight against the revenge of nature, for example, millions of grass hoppers.


Furthermore, it is obvious that endangered animals are precious resources if we judge them from various dimensions, like Genetics, Industry, etc. If they are extinct, then we can never replicate them again, even with the most advanced frontier technology. Consequently, we loss an unique gene forever, which may reveal us significant information in evolution of human beings, like chimpanzee. On the other hand, what will we get from our ever expanding colonies other than food, houses, and factories? Of course the answer is no, actually, in the long term, we pay a much higher rent for our unwise colonization!


To sum up, I'd like to advocate that save land for those endangered animals is far more significant than our own use, because it will influence our present and future!

gundammoleUID: 2300958

1# rainbowstarwqc

According to the statistic from Nature, there are over 100 species die out every second, parallelly, there are thousands of acres of land cultivated by we human beings, which are allocated to farms, factories, etc. I deem this behavior as extremely wrong, for extinctions of these species will not only jeopardize the whole ecological system, but also poison ourselves , especially our offspring.

In the first place, grab land from those endangered animals will accelerate their extinction, which will disturb the balance of nature, even collapse. As we all know, every creatures are organic ingredients of eco-system, we human as a whole has no exception. If we insist our invasion, those animals would die out in front of our powerful technology. Under that circumstance, due to the loss of important knots in food chain, like predators or some insects,（from insects to predators）the whole system will collapse. Consequently, properly we have to fight against the revenge of nature, for example, millions of grass hoppers. (这个example是不是太简单了点…)

Furthermore, it is obvious that endangered animals are precious resources if we judge them from various dimensions, like Genetics, Industry, etc. If they are extinct, then we can never replicate them again, even with the most advanced frontier technology. Consequently, we loss an unique gene forever, which may reveal us significant information in evolution of human beings, like chimpanzee. On the other hand, what will we get from our ever expanding colonies other than food, houses, and factories? Of course the answer is no, actually, in the long term, we pay a much higher rent for our unwise colonization!


To sum up, I'd like to advocate that save land for those endangered animals is far more significant than our own use, because it will influence our present and future!

作文功底很深厚，似乎没有语法错误。两个的观点一个是从动物对生态平衡的角度，一个是从动物对人类的有用价值的角度阐述了save land for endangered animals的重要性。如果能继续阐述第三个观点的话文章定会更加充实。个人观点，仅供参考。望共勉！

lucifaUID: 2590585

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.
According to the statistic from Nature, there are over 100 species die out every second, parallelly, 单词错了word不认，而且P前面逗号是不是该用句号の，不是很清楚，哈there are thousands of acres of land cultivated by we human beings, which are allocated to farms, factories, etc. I deem this behavior as extremely wrong, for extinctions of these species will not only jeopardize the whole ecological system, but also poison ourselves, especially our offspring.
In the first place, grab land from those endangered animals will accelerate their extinction, which will disturb the balance of nature, even collapse. As we all know, every creatures are organic ingredients of eco-system, we human as a whole has no exception. If we insist our invasion, those animals would die out in front of our powerful technology. Under that circumstance, due to the loss of important knots in food chain, like predators or some insects, the whole system will collapse, consequently, properly we have to fight against the revenge of nature, for example, millions of grass hoppers.
Furthermore, it is obvious that endangered animals are precious resources if we judge them from various dimensions, like Genetics, Industry, etc. If they are extinct, then we can never replicate them again, even with the most advanced frontier technology. Consequently, we loss an unique gene forever, which may reveal us significant information in evolution of human beings, like chimpanzee. On the other hand, what will we get from our ever expanding colonies other than food, houses, and factories? Of course the answer is no, actually, in the long term, we pay a much higher rent for our unwise colonization!
To sum up, I'd like to advocate that save land for those endangered animals is far more significant than our own use, because it will influence our present and future!
一共306个字。MS字数有点少，而且长句数量好像有点多。。。
其它都很强。

liurui8802UID: 2595045

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.（08.3.15)
According to the statistic from Nature, (there are)删掉 over 100 species die out every second, parallelly,（这个词好像没这个副词形式，用in contrast好了） there are thousands of acres of land cultivated by we human beings, which(指代错误，放在这里先行词是human being) are allocated to farms, factories, etc. I deem this behavior as extremely wrong, for extinctions of these species will not only jeopardize the whole ecological system, but also poison ourselves , especially our offspring.


In the first place, grab land from those endangered animals will accelerate (the speed of )their extinction, which will disturb the balance of nature, even collapse (collapse的主语不应该是行为，而应该是生态平衡，但是你这句子主语which指代的是掠夺动物土地的行为). As we all know, every creatures单复数错误 are organic ingredients of eco-system, we human as a whole has（can be） no exception. If we insist (on)查一下用法 our invasion, those animals would die out in front of our powerful technology. Under that（this） circumstance, due to the loss of important knots (in food chain)放在Insects之后, like predators or some insects, the whole system will collapse, consequently , properly（probably） we have to fight against the revenge of nature, for example, millions of grass hoppers.

Furthermore, it is obvious that endangered animals are precious resources if we judge them from various dimensions, like Genetics, Industry, etc. If they are extinct, then we can never replicate them again, even with the most advanced frontier technology. Consequently, we loss（lose） an(a)（a,an是根据发音来的，不是开头字母） unique gene forever, which may reveal us significant information in evolution of human beings, like chimpanzee（常识错误，Like表举例，如此说来，chipanzee也属于human being?）. On the other hand, what will we get from our ever expanding colonies other than food, houses, and factories? Of course the answer is no(none), actually, in the long term, we pay a much higher rent(price,表代价) for our unwise colonization!（不合适，这个单词的殖民的意思）
To sum up, I'd like to advocate that save land for those endangered animals is far more significant than （for）our own use, because it will influence our present and future!

语法有点问题，建议以后写作中注意