[TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 水龙娃娃的 第八次作业]

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.（08.3.15）

Dating back to hundreds of years ago, human beings cleared land for farming. However, an increasing number of countries prefer to set up more conservation area for endangered animals nowadays. There is no consensus among people whether it is more crucial to use land for human requirement than to save land for endangered animals. Through my perspective, it is not exclusive for human or endangered animals to use land and it turns to be important to both of them.

First, the world around us presents land has a brilliant influence on human daily life. What the land to our lives is what the water to fish. Without using land, human could not evolve and make a skyrocketing development in every field. For instance, land is a necessity when we establish a new apartment for the elder citizen. Another piece of evidence strongly bolsters the key role of land in people’s daily life that we could not survive without food. If there exit no enough room for agriculture, we could not have adequate crops for our life. Therefore, land using play a principal role in human demand.

Additionally, lands not only become crucial to human beings but turn out to be overriding for endangered animals. we could not ignore other creatures such as endangered animals which also need areas to survive and multiply. A raising amount of endangered animals are dying off for there is no more room for their survival due to a vicious condition of their environment. It is well-known for us that Amazon Forest has already been protected for the species living there and residents there restore a reclaimed land for conservation. In our own country, government has carried out a bill relating to convert cultivated land to forest and taken it into practice. Accordingly, an abundant place would ensure endangered animals a sufficient food and room to evolve.

We must take requirement of land from endangered animals into consideration when reckoning a issue concerning about our using of land such as building a factory or clearing land for farming. Only when we keep the balance between us and other creature could we survive everlasting.

Consequently, it is so superficial to conclude that it is more important to use human need than to save land for endangered animals. Human and endangered creatures would use land inclusively.


词不会用，句子不会写，越写越倒退。。。
虽然如此，还是给自己鼓鼓劲，不抛弃不放弃～加油！！

mimicaUID: 2457275

我最近也有这样的感觉，像是进入了瓶颈期，继续坚持写啊，加油！！～～～～

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

嗯嗯，谢谢MIMICA，偶加油你也加油哈～～:loveliness:

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.（08.3.15）
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Dating back to hundreds of years ago, human beings cleared land for farming. However, an increasing number of countries prefer to set up more conservation area for endangered animals nowadays. There is no consensus among people whether it is more crucial to use land for human requirement than to save land for endangered animals. Through my perspective, it is not exclusive for human or endangered animals to use land and it turns to be important to both of them.

First, the world around us presents land has a brilliant influence on human daily life. What the land to our lives is what the water to fish（不懂这句话的意思）. Without using land, human could not evolve and make a skyrocketing development in every field. For instance, land is a necessity when we establish a new apartment for the elder citizen. Another piece of evidence strongly bolsters the key role of land in people’s daily life that we could not survive without food. If there exit（这么用好像不太合适） no enough9（little） room for agriculture, we could（would） not have adequate crops for our life. Therefore, land using play a principal role in human demand.

Additionally, lands （are）not only become crucial to human beings but turn out to be overriding for endangered animals. we could not ignore other creatures such as endangered animals which also（who also） need areas to survive and multiply. A raising amount of endangered animals （species）are dying off （out）for there is no more room for their survival due to a vicious condition of their environment. It is well-known（不合适obvious） for us that Amazon Forest has already been protected for the species living there and residents there restore a reclaimed land for conservation. In our own country, government has carried out a bill relating to convert cultivated land to forest and taken it into practice.（不对吧这么证明，说已经采取措施不如说明形势的严峻来的有力） Accordingly, an abundant place would ensure endangered animals a sufficient food and room to evolve.& t1 H6 K3 M3 \, C- b
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We must take requirements of land from endangered animals into consideration when reckoning a issue concerning about our using of land such as building a factory or clearing land for farming. Only when we keep the balance between us and other creature could we survive everlasting.8 `1 J3 g. y5 n/ J
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Consequently, it is so superficial to conclude that it is more important to use human need than to save land for endangered animals. Human and endangered creatures would use land inclusively.
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1. 观点是折中，这样狠难写，建议有一个明确的偏向
2. 证明分论点的论据不够有力，思路还有待开拓
3.很多词用的不合理，文中已指出，建议去查字典
4.拼写和语法不错，楼主加油！

gundammoleUID: 2300958

1# 水龙娃娃

Dating back to hundreds of years
ago, human beings cleared land for farming. However, an increasing number of countries prefer to set up more conservation area for endangered animals nowadays. There is no consensus among people whether it is more crucial to use land for human requirement than to save land for endangered animals. Through my perspective, it is not exclusive for human or endangered animals to use land and it turns to be important to both of them.


First（Firstly）, the world around us presents that land has a brilliant influence on human
daily life. An adage says that what the land to our lives is what the water to fish. Without using land, human could not evolve and make a skyrocketing development in every field. For instance, land is a necessity when we establish a new apartment for the elder citizen. (For instance, land is a necessity part for establishing new apartments for the elder citizens.) Another piece of evidence strongly bolsters the key role of land that we could not survive without food in people’s daily life. If there exit (exist) no enough room for agriculture, we could not have adequate crops for our life. Therefore, land using plays a principal role in (for) human demand.
如果最后是要阐述保护动物的土地比供人们利用的土地要重要，那这段可以简短一点，把重点放在下面一段。

Additionally, lands not only become crucial to human beings but turn out to be overriding for endangered animals.(Not only is land crucial to human beings but it is also important for endangered animals.) We could (should) not ignore other creatures such as endangered animals which also need areas to survive and multiply. A raising amount of endangered animals are dying off for there is no more room for their survival due to a vicious condition of their environment. It is well-known for us that Amazon Forest has already been protected for the species living there and residents there restore a reclaimed land for conservation. In our own country, government has carried out a bill relating to convert cultivated land to forest and taken it into practice. Accordingly, an abundant place (places) would ensure endangered animals a sufficient food and room to evolve(survive). ?+ a0 f4 r8 j7 S

We must take requirement of land from endangered animals into consideration when reckoning a issue concerning about our using(use) of land such as building a factory or clearing land for farming. Only when we keep the balance between us and other creature (creatures) could we survive everlasting.6 H8 g/ [, |$ E

Consequently, it is so (too) superficial to conclude that it is more important to use human need than to save land for endangered animals. Human and endangered creatures would use land inclusively.
逻辑很清晰，只是略微有些小语法错误。还可以在语言的组织上下点功夫。个人观点，仅供参考。望共勉！