作文，求拍。（我还未加入互改小组）

wazzaUID：2473807

我写的是185的 63 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that
seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Use reasons and specific
examples to support our answer.   （作文经过自己的一次修改）

When asked about difficulties, quite a few people hold the view that they are frustrating and unpleasant, and helpless to our lives in the future. Affliction, such as failing to pass a math exam, having a bad cold before an interview, or being lay off in an economic crisis; seem to be really unwelcome by people. However, with all aspects carefully considered, I still believe that the difficult periods we experience will be beneficial to our future.

To begin with, the chief reason why I agree the above statement is that a person can truly find out his or her weakness in rough experiences. Being aware of one's disadvantages is the first step to rectify them. Then individual can concentrate his/her strength in correcting these shortcomings. For instance, getting a 'D' grade in his math test, a freshman looked over the paper and identified the reasons of the failure. When knows it is the carelessness that results in his flunk, he will be more careful with his counting next time. The frustration helps this freshman exactly understand his demerit.

Besides, people’s potential can be inspired in the hard time. Actually, men never know their abilities until the special moment. Those, who do not want to be defeated, will try their best to get through when facing straits. In the movie,' the pursuit of happyness ', Chris Gardner is in face of penury. Instead of being on welfare, he does his possible to fight for a stockbroker internship position. Finally, he gets it. Gardner’s latent capacity probably would be exploited with the destitution.

Last but not the least, man can acquire beneficial viewpoints about life from tough experiences. Hardship, or crisis, often makes people reflect lives. They can retrieve belief they lost before, or gain useful approaches in this consideration. For example, Aunt Zhang, a friend of my mother, survived in a terrible heart attack caused by obesity last year. Then she made a self-reflection on her living habits. Now she abstains from fry chicken, refuses to watch TV all day and runs 3 miles every morning. Having experienced a heart attack gives Aunt zhang a healthy style of life.

For what has been discussed above, we reasonably reach the conclusion that difficult periods are not nightmares, but the darkness before the dawn. And they will be of great significance in the future.

谢谢各位xdjm

saavedroUID：2423190

要加入互改小组才会有人给你拍文

wazzaUID：2473807

怎么加入互改小组？？

saavedroUID：2423190

根据你的时间找到合适的组队然后加入就行了。 PS：近期马上要改革组队制度，楼主可以先加入 Dark_Tournament写作组。组长是：奔跑蜗牛

jiang08UID：2391146

When asked about difficulties, quite a few people hold the view that they are frustrating and unpleasant, and helpless 改useless to 好像应该是for？our lives in the future. Affliction, such as failing （to pass）注意意思若能用短句表达清楚，就避免多用词 a math exam, having a bad cold before an interview, or being lay 改laid off in an economic crisis;不要分号 seem to be really unwelcome （by people）. However, with all aspects carefully considered, I still believe that the difficult periods we experience will be beneficial to our future.

To begin with, the chief reason why I agree the above statement is用I believe之类就可以了 that a person can truly find out his or her weakness in rough experiences. Being aware of one's disadvantages is the first step to rectify 貌似这个to是toward的意思，所以后面用动名词 them. Then the individual can concentrate his/her strength in correcting these shortcomings.这句太拗口了，而且逻辑上面说，用优势来矫正弱势，好像不是特别合理？ For instance, getting a 'D' grade in his math test, a freshman looked over the paper and identified the reasons of the failure. When knows 改knowing it is the carelessness that results in his flunk, he will be more careful with his counting next time. The frustration helps this freshman exactly understand his demerit.这词好像很少用？（我没见过人用。。）disadvantage/weakness都可以

Besides, people’s potential can be inspired 搭配略怪，tapped？in the hard time. Actually, men never know their abilities until the special moment. Those, 不要逗号who do not want to be defeated,  不要逗号 will try their best to get through when facing straits俄，恕我愚昧，查了字典才知道还有困难的意思，个人建议用更普通的词就好了，比如obstacles. In the movie,' the pursuit of happyness ', Chris Gardner is in face of penury. Instead of being 改depending on welfare, he does his possible 改whatever he could to fight for a stockbroker internship position. Finally, he gets it. Gardner’s latent capacity probably would be exploited with the destitution.建议说一下Gargner原来的职业？这样表达‘隐藏潜力’更有说服力。

Last but not the least, man can acquire beneficial viewpoints about life from tough experiences. Hardship, or crisis, often makes people reflect 加upon their lives. They can retrieve belief 加that they lost before, or gain useful approaches in this consideration啥意思？. For example, Aunt Zhang, a friend of my mother, survived in a terrible heart attack caused by obesity last year. Then she made a self-reflection on her living habits. 最好说明一下发作时跟饮食习惯有关，不然的话天生的就对你论述没作用了Now she abstains from fry chicken, refuses to watch TV all day and runs 3 miles every morning. Having experienced a heart attack gives Aunt zhang a healthy style of life.

For what has been discussed above, we reasonably reach the conclusion that difficult periods are not nightmares, but the darkness before the dawn. And they will be of great significance in the future.

总体说写得很不错，但是不知道你说你自己改过一遍，是不是把常用的名词都改成了比较罕见的？如果是的话，请不要这么做了。。这样不会给作文加分的，我的理解是，T作文以表达清楚意思为佳，如果觉得缺少sparkle，不妨在句式上面翻花样，用点长短句交错，反问阿什么的。论述方面没问题。加油。
wazza 发表于 2009-3-3 17:19

wazzaUID：2473807

非常感谢jiang08 的意见！！！！我就是在检查时把一些常用词改了（觉得一篇文章总是出现weakness之类的词不好），想用词多样化，想不到最后弄巧成拙！！ :L  献丑了

wazzaUID：2473807

非常感谢jiang08 的意见！！！！我就是在检查时把一些常用词改了（觉得一篇文章总是出现weakness之类的词不好），想用词多样化，想不到最后弄巧成拙！！ :L  献丑了

奔跑蜗牛UID：2579189

还是建议加入小组 大家互改

wazzaUID：2473807

奔跑蜗牛 :怎么加入？

xzxzyy@yahoo.cnUID：2605200

帮我改一下，我要考了，谢谢啊
some people prefer to eat at food stand or restaurant while others prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Those who attend to eat at home think that it is heathy and sanitary to prepare food by oneself but in my opinion, eating at restaurant has more advantages than eating at home.
   First of all, people can try diffent kinds of food in outside while at home is not available. Some restaurant has cuisines of different places and only in the restaurants can people experienced food from other countries. Some dilicious food ,take Chinese food as example, Is hard for some people to cook. In this condition people can go to a Chinese dining mall to taste some Chinese specities.
   More over, eating out is a good method to save time. As people getting busier and busier, A large amount of people do not have time and enegy to prepare food. Recent statistics show that career women who suffer more chores at home  is getting old faster that those did not do chores, it also show that the disagreement about who do the housework is probably the main cause of the high rate of divorce. Eating in the restaurants can solve all the problems. Not only can it save time but also promote the relationship between couples. They have time to enjoy life,not to be bored by endless housework and querral.
  Last but not the least, eating out can enhance the economy of our city. Suppose that, if more and more persons choose eat out , the comsumption will definitely develop. People would travel to some restaurants they prefer, therefor ,traffic would be developed. Further more, restaurants need materials such as rice, vegetables, meat then the agricluture go to prosperity. At last, goverment has more taxes to contribute to our city and people"s life would develop. It is a good circle.
  All above are the reasons that the advantages of eating out , there are still many other merits. To sum up, eating out is a good idea and can  improve people”s life and our society.