Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组yoyodandy的 第9次作业

yoyodandyUID: 2456812

第九次作业：
With the development of technology, many people hold the standpoint that children are showing less creative now than they were in the past. However, many people hold the opposite opinion. From my viewpoint, I agree with the latter. Children nowadays show much more creative than before.
I still remember a real story one of my teachers told us about a girl student who was just a 13 years old. The little girl had a special technique in hand-making. One day she found the hand-made things were popular among her classmates and from then on she learnt a lot about selling things on the internet. Two months later, she set up a website to sell what she made. The whole thing showed that in modern time, children’s creativities are no less than the past.


First of all, living in a fast developing world, technology makes our lives simple. In that case, children have much more free time than before. In the past, children were taught everything by their teachers. But now they not only can choose what they are interested in and do what they like, but also can learn at home on the internet such as watching videos, listening to lectures and talking about questions with other students. More and more ways like internet and TV can be available to them. As we all know, if a child gathers different thoughts and have a various kinds of knowledge, he or she can have great possibility to create something special. It is technology that makes them to get messages easier. Children can achieve all information they need. In a word, technology gives children more opportunities to show creative then before.

Furthermore, when we read newspapers, we can often find that some genius children invent some software or some other new things during high school or junior school or even primary school. Some of them were admitted to famous universities for their inventions. One of the reasons why they could make such great progresses is the high technique which can be used by the children to achieve their goals.


In addition, although technology doesn’t cause children show less creative than they did in the past, it still has some drawbacks. Children may become lazy because the technology brings great convenient to them. Once children become lazy, they will not love to use their brains. For instance, many children use some equipment to finish homework with making no progress at last.
From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw the conclusion that technology doesn’t kill children’s creativities. Contrarily, it not only can help children to check whether the creativities are right or not, but also can help children to realize their dreams more quickly. Without it children couldn’t have so many different ideas easily.

soilinkinUID: 2163892

With the development of technology, many people hold the standpoint that children are showing less creative now than they were in the past. However, many people hold the opposite opinion. From my viewpoint, I agree with the latter. Children nowadays show much more creative than before.

I still remember a real story one of my teachers told us about a girl student who was just（不要a） 13 years old. The little girl had a special technique in hand-making. （这里改成一个从句效果会不会好一些I still remember a real story one of my teachers told us about a 13 years old girl student who had a special technique in hand-making）One day she found her hand-made things were popular among her classmates and from then on she started learning(这样改会不会逻辑更清楚些) selling things on the internet. Two months later, she set up a website to sell what she made. The whole thing showed that in modern time, children’s creativities are no less than the past.

First of all, living in a fast developing world, technology makes our lives simple（个人认为easy更好，变得更容易而不是变简单）. In that case, children have much more free time than before. In the past, children were taught everything by their teachers. But now they not only can choose（to do） what they are interested in and do what they like, but also can learn at home on the internet such as watching videos, listening to lectures and talking about（discussing？） questions with other students. More and more ways（换成resource是不是要好些） like internet and TV can be available for them. As we all know, if a child gathers different thoughts（gather thoughts考虑一下这个搭配） and have a various kinds of knowledge, he or she can have（will have） great possibility to create something special. It is technology that makes them to get messages easier. Children can achieve（用get就可以了吧） all information they need. In a word, technology gives children more opportunities to show creative then before.

Furthermore, when we read newspapers, we can often find that some genius children invent some software（invent software欠妥） or some other new things during high school or junior school or even primary school. Some of them were admitted to famous universities for their inventions. One of the reasons why they could make such great progresses is the high technique（technology？） which can be used by the children to achieve their goals.

In addition, although technology doesn’t cause children show less creative than they did in the past, it still（不要still） has some drawbacks. Children may become lazy because the technology brings great convenient to them. Once children become lazy, they will not love to use their brains. For instance, many children use some equipment to finish homework with making no progress at last.（这段全是简单句递进，过于单调）

From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw the conclusion that technology doesn’t kill children’s creativities. Contrarily, it not only can help children to check whether the creativities are right or not, but also can help children to realize their dreams more quickly.（这句可以再考虑下，创造性的正确与否，意识到自己的梦想？这些时候否与抹杀创造力相反，或者是否与增强创造力有关） Without it children couldn’t have so many different ideas easily.

简单句过多，使得文章生硬不流畅，如果句式多变一点会增彩很多.....

yoyodandyUID: 2456812

谢谢