[TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组Grace.TT第十次作业]

grace.TTUID: 2534695

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.(08.5.10)

In sociology,the theoretical perspective of using factors that contribute to the society to value a certain group is called the “functionalist”perspective.When we look at our own community,we can find many areas with members contributing in order to make the society a better one---a more functional one. Based on the criteria of the functionalist theory,I argue that sports contribute more to the society than arts.

First,we should examine the contributions of the artists.The artists(i.e. painters,writers,musicians,architects)have contributed much to our living environment and culture.Their contributions are reflections of the inner self of the culture.For example,when we look at the paintings from St Peter’s Basilica,we find that they reflect the strong religious values and beliefs of that particular era.This contribution could be considered as a lagacy left to us by the artists.These legacies give human beings a way of reviewing and reshaping themselves.

However,our society can benefit more from athletics than arts in that it could build good characters of citizens.While most of cultures from different countries created the games themselves,many of these games have similar attributes.On my view,games teach people about life,socializtion,and how to work as a team,and how to win and lose gracefully.Many popular sports involve a group of people,ranging from two people to twenty working together as a team.In these situations it is always of utmost importance to be a team player.Being a team player means that one should work well with others in the face of adversity. Moreover, most sports teach a person the value of laughing in the face of difficulty.In sports etiquette it would be crude to start crying or throw a tantrum if one were to lose a game.The same goes in real life.One must learn to minimize their outward emotion.Finally, almost all games have socializatioin aspect deeply ingrained in them.Football and basketball both encourage a person to treat others with respect.Not only is this known as having good sportsmanship but the qualification of members in one country as well.

In conclusion,I point that athletics have much to teach one person about life,society,nation etc.Only such citizens with sportsmanship can contribute more to a country’s development. So I definitly support that government should spend more money in support of athletics.　

熊爱棒棒糖UID: 2598861

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.(08.5.10)
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In sociology,the theoretical perspective of using factors that contribute to the society to value a certain group is called the “functionalist”perspective.When we look at our own community,we can find many areas with members contributing in order to make the society a better one---a more functional one. Based on the criteria of the functionalist theory,I argue that sports contribute more to the society than arts.% }1 @7 c9 R+ }% h& @9 `& E( C
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First,we should examine the contributions of the artists.The artists(i.e. painters,writers,musicians,architects)have contributed much to our living environment and culture.Their contributions are reflections of the inner self of the culture（删掉the).For example,when we look at the paintings from St Peter’s Basilica,we find that they reflect the strong religious values and beliefs of that particular era.This contribution could be considered as a lagacy left to us by the artists.These legacies give human beings a way of reviewing and reshaping themselves.7 ]4 h/ X/ h/ g! Q
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However,our society can benefit more from athletics than (from)arts in that it could build good characters of citizens.While most of cultures from different countries created the games themselves,many of these games have similar attributes.On my view,games teach people about life,socializtion,and how to work as a team,and how to win and lose gracefully.Many popular sports involve a group of people,ranging from two people to twenty working together as a team.In these situations it is always of utmost importance to be a team player.Being a team player means that one should work well with others in the face of adversity. Moreover, most sports teach a person the value of laughing in the face of difficulty.In sports etiquette it would be crude to start crying or throw a tantrum if one were to lose a game.The same goes in real life.One must learn to minimize their outward emotion.Finally, almost all games have socializatioin aspect deeply ingrained in them.Football and basketball both encourage a person to treat others with respect.Not only is this known as having good sportsmanship but the qualification of members in one country as well. 4 r# |, U: N' H3 p+ T

In conclusion,I point that athletics have much to teach one person about life,society,nation etc.Only such citizens with sportsmanship can contribute more to a country’s development. So I definitly support that government should spend more money in support of athletics.　 6 C; U: M3 P  a! s% f/ W2 s

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.(08.5.10)

In sociology, the theoretical perspective of using factors that contribute to the society to value a certain group is called “functionalist” perspective.（这个句子是定义实用主义观点？有点难懂，呵呵）When we look at（observe） our own community, we can find many areas with members contributing in order to make the society a better one---a more functional one. Based on the criteria of the functionalist theory, I argue that sports contribute more to the society than arts(这里有点小跑题，个人感觉，因为题目是说支持运动，就像赞助奥运队伍，最好在说的细一点).5 q0 t  l1 M, W0 D$ V3 h
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First（firstly）,we should examine(ponder) the contributions of artists. The artists(i.e. painters,writers,musicians,architects)(i.e这种用在essay里不太好，个人意见，还有建筑师不是artist吧) have contributed much to our living environment and culture. （one of ）Their contributions are(is) reflections of the inner self of the culture. For example,when we look at the paintings from St Peter’s Basilica,we find that they reflect the strong religious values and beliefs of that particular era.This contribution could be considered as a legacy left to us by artists. These legacies give human beings a way of reviewing and reshaping themselves.(先声明艺术的优点，例子我没听说过)7 a6 c  N6 z: B1 m' w- R

However, our society can benefit more from athletics （rahter）than arts, (including)in that it could build good characters of citizens. While most of cultures from(of) different countries created(set) the games by themselves, many of these games have(share) similar attributes(essence).On my view(In my opinion),games teach people about life,socializtion,and how to work as a team(一个人怎么work as a team?注意主语),and how to win and lose gracefully. （这里的表冗长， 建议分开）Many popular sports involve a group of people, ranging from two people to twenty working (playing)together as a team. In these situations it is always of utmost(vitally) importance to be a team player(member). Being a team player(member) means that one should (have to )work(cooperate) well with others in the face of adversity. Moreover, most sports teach a person the value of laughing in the face of difficulty(这一句话说？). In sports etiquette it would be crude to start crying or throw a tantrum if one were to lose a game.The same goes in real life.One must learn to minimize（control） their outward emotion. Finally, almost all games have socializatioin aspect deeply ingrained in them.Football and basketball both encourage a person to treat others with respect. Not only is this known as having good sportsmanship but the qualification of members in one country as well.(这一段太长了，建议分成2——3 段，而且很多表述不清楚，词汇丰富，但是感觉运用的生硬) - q- F$ x+ T+ d4 T3 d

In conclusion,I point that athletics have much to teach one person about life,society,nation etc.Only such citizens with sportsmanship can contribute more to a country’s development. So I definitly support that government should spend more money in support of athletics.（结尾总结了文章的论点，不过感觉不够有力）
既然是拍砖，我就不说好的了，我觉得楼主观点是明确的，思路也可以，可是行文有些生硬，一些结构运用的不够熟练，导致了阅读起来较晦涩，建议多加练习。