TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作gundammole第十一次作业

gundammoleUID: 2300958

When it comes to a vital topic of whether it is better to solve question by ourselves, or ask other people for advice, there are frequently diverse viewpoints among the general public in society. Each individual has their own ideology of solving problems, so do I. In my opinion, when facing big problems, it is better to ask someone who is more knowledgeable for advice if time is not limited.

To begin with, not matter how genius we are, there must be someone who is much more talent and knowledgeable somewhere. That is why I approve that it is better to ask if we need help, especially facing big crossroad in our life. Honestly, I was confused about whether to give up my job and get down to the preparing of studying abroad. Under that situation, I approached to many people and listened to their opinions, including my friends, classmates, colleagues, teacher and parents. No one can give me a certain answer, while they enlightened me. They taught me how to analyze this problem and how to find a way to solve it. Listing the advantages and disadvantages of going abroad, I was finally convinced by the beneficial reasons.

Furthermore, not only did people's viewpoints teach me how to solve a problem, but they also opened my field of vision. During the process, some friends shared their experiences of being in foreign countries and how they choice a country for study with me, which impressed me quite a lot. Therefore, United States quickly became my fighting goal. By asking for help, the information I got is beyond my imagination.

Although the world is acclaiming for teenager's independence and it is reasonable for people to solve their questions by using their knowledge and experience, we should not lock ourselves in a space without anyone else. Trying to ask for advice when you are confused. Look at what we have in the 21th century, website, BBS, phone, magazine, etc. Our world is flat, it is pity if we can't make good use of the majority of resources around us. Don't be afraid, just ask.

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

When it comes to a vital topic of whether it is better to solve question by ourselves, or ask other people for advice, there are frequently diverse viewpoints among the general public in society. Each individual has their own ideology of solving problems, so do I. In my opinion, when facing big problems, it is better to ask someone who is more knowledgeable for advice if time is not limited.

To begin with, not matter how genius we are, there must be someone who is much more talent and knowledgeable somewhere. That is why I approve that it is better to ask if we need help, especially facing big crossroad in our life. Honestly, I was confused about whether to give up my job and get down to the preparing of studying abroad. Under that situation, I approached to many people and listened to their opinions, including my friends, classmates, colleagues, teacher（一直都是复数，突然出来个单数的。。。。） and parents. No one can give me a certain answer, while they enlightened me. They taught me how to analyze this problem and how to find a way to solve it. Listing the advantages and disadvantages of going abroad, I was finally convinced by the beneficial reasons.

Furthermore, not only did people's viewpoints teach me how to solve a problem, but they also opened my field of vision. During the process, some friends shared their experiences of being in foreign countries and how they choice（是想写choose么？要不这句话有些别扭。。） a country for（因为这个for，这个小分句没太看明白） study with me, which impressed me quite a lot. Therefore, United States quickly became my fighting goal. By asking for help, the information I got is beyond my imagination.

Although the world is acclaiming for teenager's independence and it is reasonable for people to solve their questions by using their knowledge and experience, we should not lock ourselves in a space without anyone else. Trying（Try） to ask for advice when you are confused. Look at what we have in the 21th（21st） century, website, BBS, phone, magazine, etc. Our world is flat, it is pity if we can't make good use of the majority of resources around us. Don't be afraid, just ask.


总体来说逻辑比较清晰，叙述比较顺畅。错误比较少。开头结尾很利索，同时个人很是喜欢最后几句，很有感召力～～:loveliness:
提点小建议：1.这篇文章二三两段的例子有些重复，个人觉得最好事例丰富一些，同一个事例可能说起来会感觉两段的重叠性比较大。而且分论点最好能找两个差别大一点的方面，尤其看到那个enlighten me和下一段的open my field of vision的时候，会感觉两段有些重复。
2.托福作文感觉写那种经典五段式更好一些，2+1或是2-1.纯属个人看法。仅供LZ参考～～
LZ加油～:loveliness:

bnu2006UID: 2202466

When it comes to a vital topic of whether it is better to solve question by ourselves, or ask other people for advice, there are frequently diverse viewpoints among the general public in society. Each ...
gundammole 发表于 2009-3-11 16:50

It’s better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice?(


When it comes to a vital topic of  it is better to solve questions by ourselves, or ask other people for advice, there are frequently diverse viewpoints among the general public in society. Each individual has their own ideology of solving problems, so do I. In my opinion, when facing big problems, it is better to ask someone who is more knowledgeable for advice if time is not limited.
To begin with,    not(no)  matter how genius(genius is a nounyou should use“ intelligent”)  we are, there must be someone who is much more talent and knowledgeable . That is why I approve that it is better to ask other people ( other peole should be 'some where' ) if we need help, especially facing big crossroad in our life.for example, I was confused  whether to give up my job and get down to  preparing to(for )  study  abroad. Under that situation, I approached to many people and listened to their opinions, including my friends, classmates, colleagues, teacher and parents.Though  no one can give me a certain answer,  they enlightened me. They taught me how to analyze this problem and how to find a way to solve it. Listing the advantages and disadvantages of going abroad, I was finally convinced by the beneficial reasons.

eFurthermore, not only did ( do ) people's viewpoints teach me how to solve a problem, but they also opened my field of vision. During the process, some friends shared their experiences of being in foreign countries and how they choice a country for study with me, which impressed me quite a lot. Therefore, United States quickly became my fighting goal. By asking for help, the information I got is beyond my imagination.

Although the world is acclaiming for teenager's independence and it is reasonable for people to solve their questions by using their knowledge and experience, we should not lock ourselves in a space without anyone else. Trying(try)  to ask for advice when you are confused. Look at what we have in the 21th century, website, BBS, phone, magazine, etc. Our world is flat, it is a pity if we can't make good use of the majority of resources around us. Don't be afraid, just ask.



写的很好  ， 加油

glasses415UID: 2603267

额····那个作文是我让bnu2006改的····
因为我担心没有办法帮你改好····
不好意思啦····

gundammoleUID: 2300958

4# glasses415

呀，怎么这么说～要对自己有信心，改作文对你自己也有提高的！要对自己有信心，只要努力，一定能成功的～加油！