In this argument, the author considers that honor codes similar好像原文没这个意思额 to Groveton’s should be adopted by colleges and universities to deal with the cheating among their students. To support his standpoint, the author cites the fact that the cases of cheating declined when the universities implemented the honor code.不错~ The author also cites重复用的感觉就一般了 a survey of some students who argued不妥acclaim？ that the honor code induces them hardly to cheat.At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but further consideration reveals that it contains several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.这句。咳~模板气息强烈~~而且字号小了一截。。我就不揭穿了~~
First, the declined number of cheating among the colleges does not indicate that Groveton’s honor code is successful after replacing an old-fashioned system. Perhaps these institutions carried out a series of measures to help their students cultivate sincerity. Or perhaps the performance of Groveton's honor code is failed at all. 没看懂前两句啥意思- -The author overlooks other possible reasons which cause the declined cases of cheating. Without clear and sufficient evidence, the author does not conclude that the new Groveton's honor code is a better way than old rules. On the other hand, the number of cheating cases is a mean value in old-fashioned but an immediate value in new system. Perhaps the cases of cheating were always low in the past years, but suddenly got a high number in one year because some subject was too difficult to get a pass, so that some students had to use some opportunistic method to tackle the exam. So the contrast can’t be supported the conclusion that honor code is better than old rules. 前半截没说清楚。其实个人觉得Argument的错误经常就是论断的太仓促，而同学你这段的前半段也是仓促的给可能性，而且你所列举的可能性都只是范范而谈，比如Or perhaps the performance of Groveton's honor code is failed at all. 你的这个推断也应该有源有汇。上来就说他不好，总得给个原因吧~后面对contrast的反驳还是比较有见地滴~具体具体的反驳才是有力的吧~综上，我觉得以上段只有后半部分是有效地得分段~
Secondly, the survey of a majority of students claimed that they wouldn’t be cheat with an honor code in place than without is lace of representativeness. The part of students can’t substitute all of the students. The cheating takes place in a minority of students after all, the survey may just investigate some un-cheating students, and they answer the questionnaire by imagination without their own experience. Thus, if the new system is not well accepted by the students in the universities, or is not well affected the students, the author’s advice will make no effect to ameliorate the rising number of cheating cases.前面写的很好哇~但是这个结尾总结有点奇怪喂。之前是要说这个survey不是很有效，结尾咋又变成学生接不接受honor codes了呢？
To sum up, the author does not convince me to accept the Groveton's honor code but not old rules. A detailed contrast of cases of cheating between two systems should be explained including reason of the cheating cases, the framework of the cheating students and so on, the reason of the decline of cases of cheating 这个位置不对吧，and so on 后面还接？. The author also should survey the students who have cheated in the past and ask them to evaluate the new honor code if it can help them to modify their conduct at all. 这个结尾句有点突然。个人感觉。
总的说来，攻击点不够哇，我隐隐有种感觉觉得楼主是不是没有仔细审题哇。还是只是有些表达用的不太对。改完了，我就在你这里总结下吧~开头结尾就不说了。看下来，这个题目一共三个点。1.报告作弊数（老政策的数据仅1年，新的5年只给总的，中间可能有变化，数字下降但不排除学生总人数也下降的可能，学生适应政策后相互包庇不报告了，高科技，学生素质也可能提高数字自然下降）2.调查（大多数人都不作弊的，学生会自己做得调查不可信，在做调查的时候大家都不一定坦诚，调查仅关照签不签honor codes不具说明性）3.推荐其他采用（情况不一样，缺少对其他学校情况的了解而武断下结论）
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发表于 2009-3-11 23:50:50
发表于 2009-3-12 18:27:50
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