：【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组胃小饱第十三次作业】( {% ]' U6 J8

angelmuziflyerUID: 2548676

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

According to a recent statistic on the internet, the number of people owning automobiles in developed countries occupies 60 percent, and has a tendency of increasing. It follows a hitting debate on whether drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. Some people are back up with the opinion that this financial ration is a useful method to release the pressure of transportation, while others, especially drivers, strongly disagree with if. When it comes to me, I am in favor of the former statement as the following reasons.
To start with, the heavy traffic problem tends to be one of the most serious problems in our modern life. With the advancement of economy, the rapid pate of economy brings us prosperous as well as complex difficulties. It is extraordinarily common to confront traffic jam during the busy time when people go to work. We often hear the complain of the poor traffic condition. What is worse, when there is an emergency such as capturing criminal, taking badly injured patient to hospital and so forth, the traffic jam deprives of the best chance and exert serious loss. Consequently , if special fee had to be paid during busy time, the growing number of people will choose to take a bus instead of driving themselves. Through this way , the traffic pressure will be released to a great extent.
Another obvious advantage of asking drivers for tuition is that it will decrease the possibility of accidents. Indisputably, the less vehicles on the road, the less traffic accidents there will be. Reality abounds with examples of unfortunate families losing one member due to traffic accidents. For sake of happiness and security, decreasing number of automobiles will create a more insurable life. Obviously, the financial limit is a good way to reduce the number of people driving themselves.
Convenient though the advantages the automobiles bring to us are, they can not cover the drawbacks that heavy traffic causes, when safety and efficiency work are taken into consideration. Our society can not afford the crowd traffic conditions.
If all the above factors are considered, we will find out that the advantages of charging for drivers when traffic is busy outweigh its weak points. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that supporting the suggestion of charging fees is a rather wise decision. Notwithstanding, I must admit that people acquire more convenience with driving freely, but no one can ignore the serious problems heavy traffic leads to. So I am totally back up with the suggestion.

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

According to a recent statistic on the internet, the number of people owning automobiles in developed countries occupies(reaches occupy有这个意思？) 60 percent, and still has a tendency of increasing. It follows a hitting（何意？striking） debate on whether drivers should pay a fee （in order to ）to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic(rush hour). Some people are back up with the opinion that this financial ration is a useful method to release the pressure of transportation, while others, especially drivers, strongly disagree with if. When it comes to me, I am in favor of the former statement as the following reasons.(表明观点，但是表述有点累赘)
To start with, the heavy traffic problem tends to be one of the most serious problems in our modern life（city）. With the （flouring）advancement of economy, the rapid pate of economy brings us prosperous as well as complex difficulties. It is extraordinarily common to confront traffic jams during the busy time when people go to work(rush hour). We often hear the complain of the poor traffic condition. What is worse, when there is an emergency such as capturing criminal, taking badly injured patient to hospital and so forth, the traffic jam deprives of the best chance and exert serious loss. Consequently , if special fee had to be paid during busy time, the growing number of people will choose to take a bus instead of driving themselves. Through this way , the traffic pressure will be released to a great extent(论点不太清楚，感觉有点小跑).
Another obvious advantage of asking drivers for tuition（这是学费的意思。。。charging） is that it will decrease the possibility of accidents. Indisputably, the less vehicles on the road, the less traffic accidents there(will occur) will be. Reality abounds with examples of unfortunate families losing one member due to traffic accidents. For sake of happiness and security, decreasing number of automobiles will create a more insurable life. Obviously, the financial limit is a good way to reduce the number of people driving themselves.(说可以减少事故的发生，但是论证的不严密，为什么收费车就会少？这个没有联系到)
Convenient though the advantages the automobiles bring to us are, they can not cover the drawbacks that heavy traffic causes, when safety and efficiency work are taken into consideration. Our society can not afford the crowd traffic conditions.（这一段的目的是？总结？）
If all the above factors are considered, we will find out that the advantages of charging for drivers when traffic is busy outweigh its weak points. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that supporting the suggestion of charging fees is a rather wise decision. Notwithstanding, I must admit that people acquire more convenience with driving freely, but no one can ignore the serious problems heavy traffic leads to. So I am totally back up with the suggestion（转折太多，感觉逻辑有点乱，论点没有很好的总结）
总得来说，感觉这一片没有上一篇develop的好，论点不清楚，行文有点乱。

capricon2006UID: 2278984

According to a recent statistic on the internet, the number of people owning automobiles in developed countries occupies 60 percent, and has a tendency of increasing. It follows a hitting debate on whether drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. Some people are back up with the opinion that this financial ration is a useful method to release the pressure of transportation, while others, especially drivers, strongly disagree with if. When it comes to me, I am in favor of the former statement as the following reasons.（模板？痕迹较明显）

To start with, the heavy traffic problem tends to be one of the most serious problems in our modern life. With the advancement of economy, the rapid pate(pace) of economy brings us prosperous as well as complex difficulties (觉得此句有点罗嗦). It is extraordinarily common to confront traffic jam during the busy time when people go to work. We often hear the complain of the poor traffic condition. What is worse, when there is an emergency such as capturing criminal, taking badly injured patient to hospital and so forth, the traffic jam deprives of the best chance and exert serious loss. Consequently, if special fee had to be paid during busy time, the growing number of people will choose to take a bus instead of driving themselves. Through this way, the traffic pressure will be released to a great extent.（此段很精彩）

Another obvious advantage of asking drivers for tuition（学费？） is that it will decrease the possibility of accidents. Indisputably, the less vehicles on the road, the less traffic accidents there will be. Reality abounds with examples of unfortunate families losing one member due to traffic accidents.（此句不错） For sake of happiness and security, decreasing number of automobiles will create a more insurable life. Obviously, the financial limit is a good way to reduce the number of people driving themselves.

Convenient though the advantages the automobiles bring to us are, they can not cover the drawbacks that heavy traffic causes, when safety and efficiency work are taken into consideration. Our society can not afford the crowd traffic conditions.

If all the above factors are considered, we will find out that the advantages of charging for drivers when traffic is busy outweigh its weak points. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that supporting the suggestion of charging fees is a rather wise decision. Notwithstanding, I must admit that people acquire more convenience with driving freely, but no one can ignore the serious problems heavy traffic leads to. So I am totally back up with the suggestion.


lz英文功底很好啊！不过个人觉得文章的后两个（3，4段。是两个还是一个看不出来！）分论点不是很好，难以展开。结尾太过繁琐。因为水平有限，浅见……

angelmuziflyerUID: 2548676

3# capricon2006 呵呵，我也觉得我的论证不够有力，谢谢！