[TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 jstzfish的 第18次作业],

jstzfishUID: 2542893

When I am extremely embarrassed , when I am in a great trouble , when I am struggling for a better life but hardly see any light , there is always a soul-stirring voice stick in my inner ear, "
Run,Forrest,Run!" which offers me remarkable courage and incredible power that pull me back from the dead hopes and raise me up . Actually , It is the movie <Forrest Gump> that supports me during my awkward situations which constitute the most precious time in my whole life . Considerable though the entertainment and amusement a wealth of movies bring me is , I would definitely prefer to appreciate movies that make me be more thoughtful .

In recent years , the film industry is becoming more and more
commercialized , movie-makers tend to put the economic interest as the first consideration . As long as movies can provide them decent box office returns , they would be highly satisfied . As far as I am concerned , those superficial products are typical sighs of irrationally wasting time , escaping from real life , and even being indifferent to the society . On contrary , we would become much wiser , braver , and more passionate , by watching those films which are designed to make the audience think . We may mention a common example of historical movies - <Saving Private Ryan> . It perfectly showed us the brilliant chapter of World War II Normandy landing . Besides , it offered us an opportunity to put more consideration on the catastrophe created by the war and reminded us of the hard-earned peace of the world . The example is not rare , it is typical of dozens that we have encountered .

Through a different set of eyes , we can find out that those thought-provoking cinemas are just like mirrors which remind us of the backwards and merits of ourselves . People may share the same experience and emotion with the actors or actresses.Accordingly  what the performers have done may probably be compared by the spectators with what they had done in the past , and make the audience think about whether they had done appropriately . If they actually had done a good job , they might be impressively satisfied , or if they had done something terribly , they would not make the same mistake in future due to the lessons given by the movies . More importantly , since already get to know themselves better , people incline to possess much more bottom spirit to forge ahead , without any fear , to accomplish their goals even when face up with extremely tough situations. Just like <Forrest Gump> mentioned above , it reminded me of thinking about my assets , helped me to set up my confidence , and had been encouraging me till today . Because of the significant influence of it , I have been transformed from an coward to a brilliant man .

Admittedly , though watching recreational movies is an excellent way of relaxation , people should not totally give themselves to those amusing stuffs . It is preferable for them to see some profound ones at times . Descartes once said "I think therefore I am" . In another word , a person who has ideas always live a substantial life ,both physical and spiritual which is the most valuable to humanity .

Undoubtedly , all analysis warrants an unshakable conclusion that movies which are designed to provoking our thoughts are of impressive significance and are much more worthy to appreciate . In fact , not only do I prefer those profound films but also would love that movie-makers could provide us their products which are thoughtful as well as amusing , so that people might get themselves into thinking while be amused by the funny stories .

时间没控制好，写了近1H,收不住了  - -!!

leeking85UID: 2257265

When I am extremely embarrassed , when I am in a great trouble , when I am struggling for a better life but hardly see any light , there is always a soul-stirring voice stick in my inner ear, "& P6 `7 c) y1 ?
Run,Forrest,Run!" which offers me remarkable courage and incredible power that pull me back from the dead hopes and raise me up . Actually , It is the movie <Forrest Gump> that supports me during my awkward situations which constitute the most precious time in my whole life . Considerable though the entertainment and amusement a wealth of movies bring me is , I would definitely prefer to appreciate movies that make me be more thoughtful .

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In recent years , the film industry is becoming more and more commercialized , movie-makers tend to put the economic interest as the first consideration (make more profit应该就可以) . As long as movies can provide them decent box office returns , they would be highly satisfied . As far as I am concerned , those superficial products are typical sighs of irrationally wasting time , escaping from real life , and even being indifferent to the society . On contrary , we would become much wiser , braver , and more passionate , by watching those films which are designed to make the audience think . We may mention a common example of historical movies - <Saving Private Ryan> . It perfectly showed us the brilliant chapter of World War II Normandy landing . Besides , it offered us an opportunity to put more consideration on the catastrophe created by the war and reminded us of the hard-earned peace of the world . The example is not rare , it is typical of dozens that we have encountered.

Through a different set of eyes , we can find out that those thought-provoking cinemas are just like mirrors which remind us of the backwards and merits of ourselves . People may share the same experience and emotion with the actors or actresses.Accordingly  what the performers have done may probably be compared by the spectators with what they had done in the past , and make the audience think about whether they had done appropriately . If they actually had done a good job , they might be impressively satisfied , or if they had done something terribly , they would not make the same mistake in future due to the lessons given by the movies . More importantly , since already get to know themselves better , people incline to possess much more bottom spirit to forge ahead , without any fear , to accomplish their goals even when face up with extremely tough situations. Just like <Forrest Gump> mentioned above , it reminded me of thinking about my assets(-_-!!你很有钱……那你直接移民好了), helped me to set up my confidence , and had been encouraging me till today . Because of the significant influence of it , I have been transformed from an coward to a brilliant man(别说coward吧！就说change me into a brave man就可以了).

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Admittedly , though watching recreational movies is an excellent way of relaxation , people should not totally give themselves to those amusing stuffs . It is preferable for them to see some profound ones at times . Descartes once said "I think therefore I am" . In another word , a person who has ideas always live a substantial life ,both physical and spiritual which is the most valuable to humanity (老实说没看懂你在表达啥意思).

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Undoubtedly , all analysis warrants an unshakable conclusion that movies which are designed to provoking our thoughts are of impressive significance and are much more worthy to appreciate (别扭，就说deepen our thought and sublime our spirit，感觉你考过GRE，但是写出来的句子虽然都是长句，但看着真别扭) . In fact , not only do I prefer those profound films but also would love that(删了吧！太困惑人心了) movie-makers could provide us their products which are thoughtful as well as amusing (还是看不出有啥递进关系) , so that people might get themselves into thinking while be amused by the funny stories .

个人觉得ibt是英语水平的衡量，你写些短句没人会怪你的，所以还是让考官读懂，繁琐和累赘反而不好。有些句子读着别扭也不知道怎么给你改，要不你找个牛人帮你看看去？我蛮菜的，真是改不动。

PS:你递进要有递进关系，还有其他的对比，转折，我这些不说了，你英语水平不差，考过GRE就应该知道反意和类比

jstzfishUID: 2542893

2# leeking85

先谢谢你提的建议，我会好好改进的，习惯用长难句了，感觉写着写着就写长了，收不住  - -!!

另外，有几个问题我想解释一下：

1.In another word , a person who has ideas always live a substantial life ,both physical and spiritual which is the most valuable to humanity这句话的意思是：换句话说，一个有思想的人在物质上和精神上都会活得很充实，这对一个人来说是最有价值的。

2.as well as ...... 没有表达递进关系啊，which are thoughtful as well as amusing 这句怎么会要有递进呢？

3  assets在那句话中相当于merits  由于前文已经使用过，所以我做了替换

好了，总之谢谢你帮我看文章，谢谢你的建议，我们大家互相探讨，共同进步啊  - -!!