TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 wazza 第19次作业

wazzaUID: 2473807

Education, along with the rapid development of modern society, becomes the focus of the public. Most people claim that teachers' major responsibility is to instruct students with concrete knowledge. Only in this way can their children obtain a promising career in this world, where knowledge is accumulated by exponential growth. However, with all aspects carefully considered, I am still in favor of the view that self- confidence carries more weight than specific knowledge does.

In the first place, students that are confident tend to learn actively, which dramatically increases the efficiency of education. Lacking confidence, a student may easily abandon his/her effort when he/she encounters difficulties. That results in self-abasement eventually. In contrast, those confident students persistently chase their dreams. Take my friend, Jimmy, for example. He is a confident and energetic fellow. Self-confidence enabled Jimmy to continue his study in music when he was in business school. At last, Jimmy got double degrees on Arts and Business. How amazing the power of self-confidence is!

In addition, self-confidence is not only important for student's learning but also indispensable for their future career. It is almost impossible to find a successful person without confidence in the history of human beings. From politics to business, confidence is an essential quality nowadays. For instance, the CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer, is well-known for his ability to encourage employees. His voice and expression, full of confidence and determination, always appear in the meeting room. If Ballmer were not the person of confidence, he would not reach his professional peak being a CEO. So, it is confidence that brings Ballmer a bright career.

Of course, knowledge itself is undoubtedly significant as the science and technology develops rapidly. Students can have a better understanding of subjects, such as math, physics, and the like, with the help of teachers. Also, to specialize in certain fields is the basic requirement of most jobs. A Master degree in computer science surely is a strong point in job interviews. Considerable though the advantages of knowledge are, they cannot compete with the benefits of self-confidence.

To sum up, self-confidence is so fundamental to individual education and occupation that parents and teacher should cultivate children’s this mental quality.

legolastuUID: 2453793

Education, along with the rapid development of modern society, becomes the focus of the public. Most people claim that teachers' major responsibility is to instruct students with concrete knowledge. Only in this way can their children obtain a promising career in this world, where knowledge is accumulated by exponential growth. However, with all aspects carefully considered, I am still in favor of the view that self- confidence carries more weight than specific knowledge does.我喜欢这个开头。

In the first place, students that are confident tend to learn actively, which dramatically increases the efficiency of education. Lacking confidence, a student may easily abandon his/her effort when he/she encounters difficulties. That results in self-abasement eventually. In contrast, those confident students persistently chase their dreams. Take my friend, Jimmy, for example. He is a confident and energetic fellow(这比较倾向于口语用词吧). Self-confidence enabled Jimmy to continue his study in music when he was in business school. At last, Jimmy got double degrees on Arts and Business. How amazing the power of self-confidence is!这个，好像并没有更仔细地说明自信对于学习上遇到困难的作用，也有可能是兴趣使然。

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In addition, self-confidence is not only important for student's learning but also indispensable for their(前单数后复数，统一一下吧) future career. It is almost impossible to find a successful person without confidence in the history of human beings. From politics to business, confidence is an essential quality nowadays. For instance, the CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer, is well-known for his ability to encourage employees. His voice and expression, (which is?)full of confidence and determination, always appear in the meeting room. If Ballmer were not the person of confidence, he would not reach his professional peak being a CEO. So, it is confidence that brings Ballmer a bright career.

Of course, knowledge itself is undoubtedly significant as the science and technology develops rapidly. Students can have a better understanding of subjects, such as math, physics, and the like, with the help of teachers. Also, to specialize in certain fields is the basic requirement of most jobs. A Master degree in computer science surely is a strong point in job interviews. Considerable though the advantages of knowledge are, they cannot compete with the benefits of self-confidence. 看到最后一句之前我还以为你要说说学知识的好处不过怎么最后一句又来了个360度的大转折呢，而且转折完就没有话了，有些突兀。

To sum up, self-confidence is so fundamental to individual education and occupation that parents and(跟题目没啥关系，删了吧) teacher should cultivate children’s this mental quality.

bb980UID: 2527518

Education, along with the rapid development of modern society, becomes the focus of the public. Most people claim that teachers' major responsibility is to instruct students with concrete knowledge. Only in this way can their children obtain a promising career in this world, where knowledge is accumulated by exponential growth. However, with all aspects carefully considered, I am still in favor of the view that self- confidence carries more weight than specific knowledge does.
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    In the first place, students that are confident tend to learn actively, which dramatically increases the efficiency of education. Lacking confidence, a student may easily abandon his/her effort when he/she encounters difficulties. That results in self-abasement eventually. In contrast, those confident students persistently chase(用grasp好点吧...) their dreams. Take my friend, Jimmy, for example. He is a confident and energetic fellow. Self-confidence enabled Jimmy to continue his study in music when he was in business school. At last, Jimmy got double degrees on Arts and Business. How amazing the power of self-confidence is！（最好把那些过程具体论述下，怎么个amazing法？） * u4 ^% ~: |# J, l. r. t

In addition, self-confidence is not only important for student's learning but also indispensable for their future career（s）. It is almost impossible to find a successful person without confidence in the history of human beings. From politics to business, confidence is an essential quality nowadays. For instance, the CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer, is well-known for his ability to encourage employees. His voice and expression, full of confidence and determination, always appear in the meeting room. If Ballmer were not the person of confidence, he would not reach his professional peak being a CEO. So, it is confidence that brings Ballmer a bright career. 2 d! h- K  v5 E2 D4 F- I  V3 E
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    Of course, knowledge itself is undoubtedly significant as the science and technology develops rapidly. Students can have a better understanding of subjects, such as math, physics, and the like, with the help of teachers. Also, to specialize in certain fields is the basic requirement of most jobs. A Master degree in computer science surely is a strong point in job interviews. Considerable though the advantages of knowledge are, they cannot compete with the benefits of self-confidence.
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    To sum up, self-confidence is so fundamental to individual education and occupation that parents and teacher should cultivate children’s this mental quality.（首尾呼应，同是起到了总结全文的作用）


两次举例论证，都是正面的，我觉得如果一正一反可能更有说服力！
语言还是蛮流畅的,羡慕啊！
不过有些明显的句套，多用点修辞可能使文章更加优美。

呵呵，我是个新手，纯属个人看法。
可能有些地方评价的不太到位，请多多原谅！
希望以后可以经常互相学习！

liurui8802UID: 2595045

Education, along with the rapid development of modern society, becomes the focus of the public(attention). Most people claim that teachers' major responsibility is to instruct students with(只查到instruct in） concrete knowledge. Only in this way can their children obtain a promising career in this world, where knowledge is accumulated by exponential growth. However, with all aspects carefully considered, I am still in favor of the view that self- confidence carries more weight（outweigh) than specific knowledge does.& P. P& G* ?1 \7 F; [In the first place, students that(who,定语从句中作主语的语法，自己查一下） are confident tend to learn actively, which dramatically increases the efficiency of education. Lacking confidence, a student may easily abandon his/her effort when he/she encounters difficulties. That results in self-abasement没查到这个词什么意思 eventually. In contrast, those confident students persistently chase their dreams. Take my friend, Jimmy, for example. He is a confident and energetic fellow. Self-confidence enabled Jimmy to continue his study in music when he was in business school. At last, Jimmy got double degrees on（in) Arts and Business. How amazing the power of self-confidence is!In addition, self-confidence is not only important for student's learning but also indispensable for their future career. It is almost impossible to find a successful person without confidence in the history of human beings. From politics to business, confidence is an essential quality nowadays. For instance, the CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer, is well-known for his ability to encourage employees. His voice and expression, full of confidence and determination, always appear in the meeting room. If Ballmer were not the person of confidence, he would not reach his professional peak being a CEO. So, it is confidence that brings Ballmer a bright career. 3 h3 {& T/ m* u' h3 w/ E7 ~$ ]  Y7 Z+ yOf course, knowledge itself is undoubtedly significant as the science and technology develops rapidly. Students can have a better understanding of subjects, such as math, physics, and the like(??), with the help of teachers. Also, to specialize in certain fields is the basic requirement of most jobs. A Master degree in computer science surely is a strong point in job interviews. Considerable though the advantages of knowledge are, they cannot compete with the benefits of self-confidence.(compete confidence for its benefits)To sum up, self-confidence is so fundamental to individual education and occupation that parents and teacher should cultivate children’s this mental quality.(感觉这句表达很中式。Should engage in self-confidence cultivation more than mere knowledge)