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[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组HYPS2011的 第19次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-4-10 08:11:32 |显示全部楼层
As we all know ,education is the basic prerequisite of success for any talent in the fierce competition society. While in the school education ,I ‘m personally believe that how to build a child’s confidence is more urgent than to teach him/her specific knowledge.

At one hand,self-confidence is essential for anyone to study and work . without such spirit no one can perform well and might even suffer both physical and mental bother. the two most important things in any child’s life are health and education.so to some extent,the self-confidence is imperative in the process of child’s growth.as for me ,whenever I confront some unfamiliar situations i always own the confidence that has developed from childhood to conquer.as the famous saying goes “a good beginning is half done”.

Additionally ,along the road to success one may experience various failures.only the one have self-confidence can stand up then move forward and finally achieve great accomplishment. Take oprah winfrey, who was a small host of Ameica in the past,as an example. But now Oprah ,owning at least one billion fortune and presiding over a talk show that attracts more than 33 million audiences per week, is a success story the everyday people can relate to. Oprah’s achievements came after a lot of failtures and once she told that the most important for her success is confidence.nevertheless, such instances are countless.with the fast development economic and the increasingly fierce competition.confidence is playing a more and more unsubstitutable role in our daily life.

On the other hand.specific knowledge is another essential factor that contributes to one’s success. We can’t even cook a single meal if we don’t know how to master the kitchen implements.at school a large number of specific knowledge are taught including,advanced math, psychology ,high-level reading and wrting are important to every citizen.no matter what profession they later choose. A skilful person ,especially in energy field,who has special knowledge is needed all the time .thus in order to better suit further career the specific knowledge taught in school should also be highlighted.

Finally ,school education is a paramount knowledge source for everyone.of course a intelligent and responsible teacher is respectful .if every child is cultivated be self-confident along with gorgeous specific knowledge.the whole world will enjoy a more beautiful tomorrow.

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发表于 2009-4-10 21:09:39 |显示全部楼层
As we all know ,education is the basic prerequisite of success for any talent in the fierce competition society. While in the school education ,I ‘m personally believe that how to build a child’s confidence is more urgent than to teach him/her specific knowledge.
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At one hand,self-confidence is essential for anyone to study and work . without such spirit no one can perform well and might even suffer both physical and mental bother. the two most important things in any child’s life are health and education.so to some extent,the self-confidence is imperative in the process of child’s growth.as for me ,whenever I confront(多用于被动语态) some unfamiliar situations i always own the confidence that has developed from childhood to conquer(?).as the famous saying goes “a good beginning is half done”.9 ]# E( H, F2 B; T* y

$ q# W4 h4 U) QAdditionally ,along the road to success one may experience(experient) various failures.only the one have self-confidence can stand up then move forward and finally achieve great accomplishment. Take oprah winfrey, who was a small host of Ameica in the past,as an example. But now Oprah ,owning at least one billion fortune and presiding over a talk show that attracts more than 33 million audiences per week, is a success(successful) story the everyday people can relate to. Oprah’s achievements came after a lot of failtures and once she told that the most important for her success is confidence.nevertheless, such instances are countless.with the fast development economic and the increasingly fierce competition.confidence is playing a more and more unsubstitutable role in our daily life.8 `  s8 S8 e: h  z9 }
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On the other hand.specific knowledge is another essential factor that contributes to one’s success. We can’t even cook a single meal if we don’t know how to master the kitchen implements.at school a large number of specific knowledge are taught including,advanced math, psychology ,high-level reading and wrting (which)are important to every citizen.no matter what profession they later choose. A skilful person ,especially in energy field,who has special knowledge is needed all the time .thus in order to better suit further career, the specific knowledge taught in school should also be highlighted.
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Finally ,school education is a paramount knowledge source for everyone.of course a intelligent and responsible teacher is respectful .if every child is cultivated be self-confident along with gorgeous specific knowledge.the whole world will enjoy a more beautiful tomorrow.

个人觉得这个话题最好不要写两方面..因为他的侧重点是哪一个更重要...所以..对于这种相对性的话题最好也采取比较的态度...
继续加油...共同进步...

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发表于 2009-4-10 23:48:05 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 司青 于 2009-4-10 23:59 编辑

As we all know, education is the basic prerequisite of success for any talent in the fierce competition society. While in the school education, I ‘m personally believe that how to build a child’s confidence is more urgent than to teach him/her specific knowledge.

At one hand(on this hand), self-confidence is essential for anyone to study and work . without such spirit no one can perform well and might even suffer both physical and mental bother. the two most important things(不能这样说) in any child’s life are health and education. so to some extent, the self-confidence is imperative in the process of child’s growth. as for me ,whenever I confront some unfamiliar situations I always own the confidence that has developed from childhood to conquer. as the famous saying goes “a good beginning is half done”..

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Additionally ,along the road to success one may experience various failures. only the one have self-confidence can stand up then move forward and finally achieve great accomplishment. Take oprah winfrey, who was a small host of America in the past, as an example. But now Oprah, owning at least one billion fortune and presiding over a talk show that attracts more than 33 million audiences per week, is a success story the everyday people can relate to. Oprah’s achievements came after a lot of failures and once she told that the most important for her success is confidence. Nevertheless, such instances are countless. with the fast development economic and the increasingly fierce competition. confidence is playing a more and more unsubstitutable role in our daily life.9 j9 j9 w# d1 B  I$ q+ n5 M

On the other hand. specific knowledge is another essential factor that contributes to one’s success. We can’t (这个一定要改成cannot)even cook a single meal if we don’t know how to master the kitchen implements. at school a large number of


specific
knowledge are taught including,advanced math, psychology ,high-level reading and wrting are important to every citizen.no matter what profession they later choose. A skilful person ,especially in energy field,who has special knowledge is needed all the time .thus in order to better suit further career the specific knowledge taught in school should also be highlighted.
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Finally ,school education is a paramount knowledge source for everyone.of course a intelligent and responsible teacher is respectful .if every child is cultivated be self-confident along with gorgeous specific knowledge.the whole world will enjoy a more beautiful tomorrow.



呵呵,我也觉得写同意不同意话题的文章,不要两方面都写,字数有限,两方面都无法扩展的很好。还是要继续注意文章结构和例子的说服性。继续努力哦,加油!


要每天多努力一些,比别人多努力一个小时

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发表于 2009-4-11 13:13:45 |显示全部楼层
3# 司青
the two most important things 不可以这样说吗?请指教哈

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发表于 2009-4-11 14:25:26 |显示全部楼层
the two most important things 不可以这样说吗?请指教哈


这个,本人才疏学浅,我还真是没有见过啊o(∩_∩)o...
要每天多努力一些,比别人多努力一个小时

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发表于 2009-4-12 13:06:18 |显示全部楼层
5# 司青
这个例句 我是在一本书上看到的。可能 也有点怪。

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发表于 2009-4-14 08:58:06 |显示全部楼层
someone who argue that keep an eye on the events happening around the world is imperative while another troop think they just need to care about trivial matters in daily life. Different figures may hold different viewpoints, as far as I am concerned .i certainly stand the point that we should try our best to notice the things of the whole world even if those do not relate to our daily life.' p" M9 L3 F5 B
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One of the greatest benefits of knowing the events happening around the world is that we can learn new and different places, cultures, customs and so forth. Admittedly, the diverse viewpoints not only presents totally new information. but also casts a new light on old opinions. as a matter of fact, knowledge is accumulated along the life time, often learning the outside world can refresh us and subsequently people become more knowledgeable about the world and about themselves. you may probably find that people , @$ q" w: [6 Q8 j
is always welcome and respected because of his wide horizon and eloquent ability.

(这句话是不是有点离题?感觉很突兀)so such events not simply deepens and enriches our life and lets us become more knowledgeknowledgeable and thus more welcome as well." |: v$ ?; w. X# L; L8 k1 B4 b

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Additionally, taking attention to international events can provides accurate directions .as a college student (这里把第二段的论据陷在大学生不大好,说现代的所有人也没有关系吧)we must grasp the current trend of our major. governors politics, new technology and employment are all crucial for our further professional developemt .in order to stand the incompetitive(没这词) positon after graduation we must
" J0 U' h9 _* N  z& \2 _" I+ _acquaint with all the situations around the world to make full preparations. Similarly a company manager, in most cases ,as a analysis is responsible to predict the market and make judgments to guide the employees product to meet the society needs. Only be familiar with the products circumstances can he/she become the right pilot .
(这里感觉不好,familiar with circumstance 也不能说knowing events happening around the world, 再加几句说充分一些。)thus he/she must clear about the things happening around the world though the rewards might not be immediately apparent . (这里提到的没有回报上面没讲,应该说为以后。。做好充分准备比较好)! \* [8 [8 U/ R- L: Y

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Finally ,another essential factor is that as a cross-century talent and the times requiring. highly -developed technology tighten everyone together living on earth.we become neighbors with foreigners. So every citizen must care about more than before in order to get well with our new companions. Internet,television and newspapers are all available to meet the needs for better know the world.(这句话不切题多余了)


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5 d. l- c! V& ]' T: T5 Q5 zTo sum up ,from what has been diccussed above,we can safely come to the point that knowing the events happening around the world is urgent under nowadays environment ascribing to(这里我看不懂,是什么意思?) individual development, new times requiring and so on.
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注意下格式的标准。很多处的标点后没空一格。首字母大写。有几处的动词多了s
感觉楼主的词汇很丰富,就是具体的例子少了。
Fate is knocking on your door......

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发表于 2009-4-14 08:59:33 |显示全部楼层
发错了,不好意思
Fate is knocking on your door......

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RE: 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组HYPS2011的 第19次作业】 [修改]

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