5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 lingyao1 第二次作业

lingyao1UID: 2467525

Teacher should be paid according to theirstudents' performs.[fly](40min / 360words)[/fly]

In this era of rapid social change leadingto increasing life complexity and psychological displacement. Both positive and negative idea among persons in whether teacher should be paid according to their students' performs.

Many groups believe that teacher should not be paid according to student's performs and here are two important reasons. In the one hand, boys' and girls' performs are influenced from diversity aspects,such as aging, society changing, medias, family, friends and so on. The teacheris not only one reason about decide to boys' and girls' performs. For instance, I have a small brother in high school. He is very smart student and performs very well in the class. Unfortunately, his parents were devoiced when he was eighteen years old, which gives him a huge impaction and leading his life so chaos that he can not focus energy on study in the class whatever teacher uses anyway to help him. So it is unfair if my brother's teacher should be paid according to my brother's perform.

In the other hand, according students performs to pay teacher is not a good idea. Because this policy likely leading to more persons concentrate thinking on how make their students performing well appeal for earnning more money, not to teaching children's mind. There are numerous ways to let children perform very well in short time for get some money. But like these methods can not support children to follow methods to doing something in the future. For example, teacher could offer students answers before final exam. It will make all of classes catching A, but, this method never help students to be excellent in the future.

But there also other groups hold different opinions that teacher should be paid according to their boys' and girls', it will be a competition among in teachers. This idea will spur teacher to pay more effort on improvement of teaching and increasing the education's quality. At last, the students is the finally beneficiary.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view that teacher should not be paid according to students performs, because teaching students for perform well is teacher's duty and using money to evaluate teacher is unfair and unpractice.

xiusheUID: 2136439

本人水平有限，语法挺烂，修改不当的地方大家相互指正.
Both positive and negative idea among persons in whether teacher should be paid according to their students' performs.
这句感觉有点读不通，尝试修改如下：
people holds positive and negative idea to the question that whether teacher should be paid according to their students' performs.


Many groups（people?） believe(加s) that teacher should not be paid according to student's performs and here are two important reasons. In (the去掉？) one hand, boys' and girls' performs are influenced from diversity aspects,such as aging, society changing, medias, family, friends and so on. The teacher(i去掉)s not only one reason about decide to boys' and girls' performs.(修teachers is not the only reason to decide boy and girls' performs) For instance, I have a small brother in high school. He is (加a) very smart student and performs very well in the class. Unfortunately, his parents were devoiced when he was eighteen years old, which gives him a huge impaction and leading his life so(该为to) chaos that he can not focus （加his） energy on study in the class whatever teacher uses anyway to help him(no used how hard teacher tried to help him). So it is unfair if my brother's teacher should be paid according to my brother's perform.(用虚拟语气可能更合适...虚拟语气俺也用不好,如有错误请指正it would be unfair if the teacher paid according to his perform)0 {/ E8 V1 E" O5 ~7 K: w  [+ t- M

In the other hand,(加主语 school) according (to) students performs to pay teacher is not a good idea. Because this policy likely leading （去掉to） more persons(teacher's) concentrate（改为concentration） (去掉thinking）to how (to) make their students performing well appeal for earnning more money, not to teaching children's mind(不理解这句的意思). There are numerous ways to let children perform very well in short time for get some money. （But methods like this) can not support children to follow methods to doing something in the future.) For example, teacher could offer students answers before final exam. It will make all of classes catching(attain) A, but, this method never help students to be excellent in the future.6 r# l5 e6 B* i: g. u1 @* ~
7 J1 O6 q' n/ `: ^0 N7 H: L
But there also other groups hold(s) different opinions that teacher should be paid according to their boys' and girls'(加performs), it will be a competition among (去掉in） teachers. This idea will spur teacher to pay more effort on improvement of teaching and increa（sing） the education's quality. At last, the students is the final(去掉ly） beneficiary.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view that teacher should not be paid according to students performs, because teaching students for perform well（their well performance） is teacher's duty and using money to evaluate teacher is unfair and unpractice(应为形容词unpractical).

观点和例证都很好，个别句子结构不够严谨缺少某些成分，一起加油吧！

lingyao1UID: 2467525

2# xiushe
太谢谢了！我也很烂，大家一起进步！！

想秋刀鱼的猫UID: 2304079

先占个楼哈 晚上上完课回来给亲改~鞠躬..

想秋刀鱼的猫UID: 2304079

In this era of rapid social change leadingto increasing life complexity and psychological displacement. (提高生活的综合性和心理代替?米看懂...这个句子该是亲的模板句子吧?但是感觉放这边不大懂...)
Both positive and negative idea(s) among persons in whether (用in whether 感觉有点别扭..改成proposing the statement that whether怎么样?) teacher should be paid according to their students' performs.

Many groups believe that teacher should not be paid according to student's performs and here are two important reasons. In the one hand, boys' and girls' performs are influenced from diversity aspects,such as aging, society changing, medias, family, friends and so on. The teacher is not only one reason (用essential吧)about decide to (太罗嗦,改成of就行了)boys' and girls' performs. For instance, I have a small brother in high school. He is (a) very smart student and performs very well in the class. Unfortunately, his parents were devoiced when he was eighteen years old, which gives him a huge impaction (一般用impact on)and leading his life so chaos that he can not focus energy on study in the class whatever teacher uses anyway to help him. (这句时态要整理下)So it is unfair if my brother's teacher should be paid according to my brother's perform.: e% h4 p' P( G+ U) X
这段的例子表达有点不明确,可以在总结句的之前再加一句,这是由于我的弟弟自己的客观原因,而并不是老师不负责任)
9 C$ o6 C3 f! Y+ T- Q
In the other hand, according students performs to pay(paying) teacher is not a good idea. Because this policy likely leading to more persons concentrate thinking on how make their students performing well appeal for earning(用请求不大好,直接用to gain 比较强烈哈) more money, not to(改成on) teaching children's mind. There are numerous ways to let children perform very well in short time for get(ing) some money. But like these methods can not support children to follow methods to doing something in the future. (这句有点不通顺)For example, teacher could offer students answers before final exam. It will make all of classes catching A, but, this method never help (表示强调可以用does nothing help)students to (去掉to ,是help sb do sth )be excellent in the future.& m& I# M1 I/ a0 [* D' p: L: v
+ c" A  i) {5 }: B& S9 t
But there also other groups hold different opinions that teacher should be paid according to their boys' and girls', it will be a competition among in teachers. This idea will spur teacher to pay more effort on improvement of teaching and increasing the education's quality. At last, the students is the finally beneficiary.(这段观点有点不明确呀..)

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view that teacher should not be paid according to students performs, because teaching students for perform well is teacher's duty and using money to evaluate teacher is unfair and unpractice.

水平有限制,请多指教^_^
鞠躬..

lingyao1UID: 2467525

2# xiushe
无比感谢，马上修改！！！

lingyao1UID: 2467525

5# 想秋刀鱼的猫
第一段是我写GRE作文时常用的一个模板，出自一个官方范文第一段的修改体。大意就是：随着时代在精神上和物质上的快速发展，改变了人们心里的很多东西，这样的改变在人群中尤其表现在...上就是是否....。

lingyao1UID: 2467525

5# 想秋刀鱼的猫
谢谢高人指点，小民马上改正