5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 lingyao1 第三次作业

lingyao1UID：2467525

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the
friendship. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Admittedly, the friend has essential role in everyone’s life, and sometimes getting a good friendship is better than getting a nice family or normal teacher. But, with era of rapid social change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effort among persons in should let a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship?

There are mainly two groups have entire opposite opinions. The one thinks that do something with friends when they make a mistake is worse than do nothing. Because it would be break up his or her cherish friendship. People should to support their friends when she or he is completing something. It is a “mind polar” when he or she is suffering the hard time.

Furthermore, doing or saying something to influent his/her friends may be lead to bad result. Different person have different thinking, they have personal reason and right for doing what they want to. Therefore, this is a kind of respecting that letting a friend keep doing one thing even it is a mistake.

But the other group has a different idea about letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may impact on the friendship. They believe that the real friend should to warning his or her friend when they make mistake. Everybody has a responsibility for their friend in that the friend liking a teacher in people’s growing progress. So helping or directing friend a right way when they are making mistake is very necessary and important. For instance, one day, my best friend, Jack, wanted to use bad method for passing the final biology exam. I let him stop immediately and assisted him for handling the biological questions. Not sooner, he got a dramatically progress in the biology and obtained an excellent scores. This action was not destroyed our friendship, oppositely, it increased our quality of friendship and letting us to known what was the real friend.

All in all, in my opinion about whether letting friend make mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy friendship, I strongly agree that do something for my friend when he or she is making mistake. Because of the real friends should to help each other anytime.

让板砖来的更猛烈些吧！

piaolingzhongUID：2381833

I'll mend you essay torromow

piaolingzhongUID：2381833

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the
ffriendship. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
?/ Z. o: D) t
- i4 P# X+ K8 ?8 T% H) u
Admittedly, （没见过开头段用这个承接词的）the friend play the(has) essential role in everyone’s life, and sometimes getting a good friendship is better than getting a nice family or normal teacher( 这和正常的老师有什么关系啊). But, with era of rapid social change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effort among persons in should let a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship?（这句话好像句子结构有问题，能猜出你意思但句子结构有很大问题）

There are mainly two groups have entire opposite opinions. The one thinks that do something with friends when they make a mistake is worse than do nothing. Because it would be break up his or her cherish friendship. People should to support their friends when she or he is completing something. It is a “mind polar” when he or she is suffering the hard time.
另外一组人的观点呢？倒数最后一句和第二句有什么作用，这一段里面没有逻辑关系，和上面一段也没什么关系。
Furthermore, doing or saying something to influence(influent) his/her friends may be lead to bad result. Different person have different thinking, they have personal reason and right for doing what they want to.(这句话没和上下文没多大关系啊) Therefore, this is a kind of aspect(respecting这是副词，关系，说到的意思) that letting a friend keep doing one thing even it is a mistake.
这段开头说应该do something结尾却是放任朋友做即使有错误的事情。自相矛盾了。

But the other group has a different idea about letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may impact on the friendship. They believe that the real friend should warn（to warning） his or her friend when they make mistake. Everybody has the（a） responsibility for their friend in that the friend like as （liking in that后面如果不能接从句话就改为liking as） a teacher in the people’s growing progress. So helping or directing friend a right way when they are making mistake , is very necessary and important. For instance, one day, my best friend, Jack, wanted to use the bad method to pass (for passing )the final biology exam. I (let him stop) prevent him immediately and assisted him for handling the biological questions. before long (Not sooner这个词没有表示不久的意思吧), he got a dramatically progress in the biology and obtained an excellent scores. This action was not destroyed our friendship, oppositely, it increased our quality of friendship and letting us to known what was the real friend.

All in all, in my opinion about letting friend make mistake or saying or doing someting that may destory  the friendship .I strongly agree that do something for my friend when he or she is making mistake. Because of the real friends should to help each other anytime.

总评：改作文结构混乱，观点不明。虽然在结尾给出自己观点，看文章开头没有表明观点。
此外对于两方面作者给予同等分量的论述。看不出作者到底支持哪方面。
作者的句子看起来很别扭。还有些一个句子出现两个动词这种错误。建议多看看范文。尤其是思路

lingyao1UID：2467525

admittedly: 公认的（很多作文开头都可以用这个词）
第一段：朋友在每个人都一声起着很重要的作用，同时拥有一个好的友谊有时要比得到一个家庭或普通的老师还要重要！！！但是，随着这个时代社会的复杂化和思想上的波动，有一个富有争论的话题围绕在很多人周围，那就是.......（这是我一个标准的GRE作文开头模板1，后面你没看懂的那部分源自官方的一个GRE作文开头，没有任何语法方面的问题，请看好）
第二段：同学！！我完全抗议你有没有仔细看，我第一句用的是worse than 不是better than，我是把标题反过来说一遍，以防重复！所以结尾我说放任朋友去放错误！还有，那个第二组在下一段啊，第一组是支持观点，第二组在下一段反驳观点，最后一段是我的观点，就是反对题目，你到底看清楚了吗，“I strongly agree that do something for my friend when he or she is making mistake. Because of the real friends should to help each other anytime.”这是标准的托福四段论，你有没有仔细看过论坛里的范文和对托福作文官方要求的分析！！！！


感谢你的修改，不过我反对其中的20%:D

sunfish1124UID：2654044

楼上可是要虚心哦~
另外，GRE的作文与托福的作文实在太不一样了。完全不能这样套。典型的中国学生在套模板。。。 4# lingyao1

katzUID：2551546

Admittedly,the friend has essential role in everyone’s life, and sometimes gettinga good friendship is better than getting a nice family or normalteacher. But, with era of rapid social change leading to increasinglife complexity and psychological displacement, both positive andnegative effort among persons in should let a friend make a mistake isbetter than saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship? （抄gre的，也要抄得有理有据。一方面，这个句子和全文的格调不一样，显得太突兀了，太复杂的结构不是托福作文需要的，另一方面，在用这个句子时候你是否真的懂了它的意思呢？反正我是没读懂。我的建议是把这一句删掉，然后把下面说two groups of people那一段提上来）) {8 g5 ^( W5 U& e( N3 J
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There are mainly two groups haveentire opposite opinions. （...two groups of people who have entire....)The one thinks that do (doing)something(doing something? do what? 把事情说明白比较好，可以说having a good talk with the friends/telling them the what is the right thing to do...我个人觉得都比简简单单地说一个doing something要好） with friendswhen they make a mistake is worse than do nothing. Because it would be（be多余）break up his or her cherish friendship. People should to（to多余） support theirfriends when she or he is completing something. It is a “mind polar”when he or she is suffering the hard time. (这一段我觉得我最大的问题就是太空，既没有detail也没有example。). J8 n. R9 v$ H8 e* n3 ~

! G) [1 {1 k. P' ]7 s: jFurthermore,doing or saying something to influent his/her friends may be(BE多余） lead tobad result. Different person（people） have different thinking, they havepersonal reason and right for doing what they want to. Therefore, thisis a kind of respecting（respect） that letting a friend keep doing one thing even（even if)it is a mistake. （还是太空，加上点detail和example吧）

But the other group has a differentidea about letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying ordoing something that may impact on the friendship. They believe thatthe real friend should to(to多余） warning his or her friend when they makemistake（mistakes）. Everybody has a responsibility for their friend in that thefriend liking（is like） a teacher in people’s growing progress. So helping ordirecting friend a （the）right way when they are making mistake is verynecessary and important. For instance, one day, my best friend, Jack,wanted to use bad method（用treat就好了） for passing the final biology exam. I let himstop（stop him） immediately and assisted him for （with）handling the biologicalquestions. Not sooner, he got a dramatically（dramatic） progress in the biologyand obtained an excellent scores（score）. This action was（did！） not destroyed ourfriendship, oppositely, it increased our quality of friendship andletting（let） us to known （know） what was the real friend.

All in all, in my opinion aboutwhether letting friend make mistake is better than saying or doingsomething that may destroy friendship, I strongly agree that do（doing）something for my friend when he or she is making mistake. （你在agree什么？改成agree that doingsomething for my friend when he or she is making mistake is better than doing nothing). Because of(去掉of）the real friends should to（没有to） help each other anytime.

低级错误太多。建议lz自己先细细读读把语法错误挑出来在发上来

另外文章花了太多时间描述双方的观点上，到了最后一段才说自己的观点。不如在第一段就亮出自己的立场然后再分别讨论两种不同的看法比较好）

hyacinthUID：2184492

基本同意ls两位板油的修改意见。。。

LZ的词汇量不错 但是基础的语法错误太多

此外GRE作文和IBT作文风格不一样。。。生搬硬套模板对两者的分数不仅没有帮助 反而可能会因此拿不到高分。。。