第一次作业【Just Do It】Issue51 by leopard2009

leopard2009UID: 2596872

第一个版本由于是新手没有注意标题格式，被斑竹封了。不好意思。自己改了第一段中比较大的一个问题，再贴一下，请各位大大使劲给砖，谢谢

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specificallydesigned to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Education is always one of the hottest topics in our society. We all know the importance of good education to every citizen,every country and every society. But there are many debates on what is the effective approach in educating our students. The speaker above obviously contends that the effective education should be tailored to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. While there are some exceptions that we should take into account, I generally agree that education would be truly effective when teachers try their best to meet the different needs and interests of every student.

Let's first define the term-"education" in discussion as the formal school education including preliminary schooling, middle school education and university one, since it is the main instrument in our society to educate citizens. In so far as we will discuss the effectiveness of the school education, we must be clear of what are the desired results of education--specifically, what are the functions of education. Essentially,education serves to teach students some fundamental knowledge they may use in their future life, to help them understand the world, society, people and themselves, to let them realize where their potentials lie in and encourage them to take their advantage to fulfill that potentials, and to cultivate their critical thinking skills. It is these fundamental functions of education that help us choose the most effective approach in education. So let's move on to our topic to see whether an education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will be an effective one.

When students are usually mature enough to know what their real needs and interests are, education devised to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is usually the effective one. For example, at the college level, because many students are gradually clear of their real needs and interests, if the teachers in their university can tailor their teaching method to meet these students' real needs and interests, the students may learn the fundamental knowledge for their future life in pleasure and effectively. A tailored education method also can stir up the students' curiosity to the world, society,people and themselves. And the curiosity will lead the students to study actively rather than receive passively, which will undoubtedly deepen their understanding of the world, society, people and themselves. Anyone who has experiences in learning knows this. In addition, if education can't respect the different needs and interests of each student, the students have less chance to realize their potentials, because even the students know what their potentials are, the misunderstanding and criticism coming from the education system may be a big obstacle to overcome for the students in pursuit of fulfilling their potentials. Finally, the students educated by the approach designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student can let their ideas express freely without being feared to be penalized by the inconsistency to the standard answers. This encourages the students to think independently and fosters their critical thinking skills.Therefore, when students are clear of their real needs and interests, it's effective to educate them by meeting their individual needs and interests.

But the exception goes to the fact that not all students, even at the university level, be clear of their real needs and interests.  Also,even when they know their real needs and interests at present, they may not be clear of the ones in the future. So there should be another approach to effectively educate students, for example, through general standard tests to testify students' basic understanding of fundamental knowledge. Besides, an effective education should instill the universally accepted moral values, such as justice, love, equality and etc., into students, long before they have understood their real needs and interests, because we all know how important these ethics are and how difficult it may be changed without being formed properly at the students' early stage.

Education plays a vital role in the world development, in the civilization of our society, and in the success of every citizen. Because it has such significant functions, people want to know what the effective education is. Generally speaking, education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is the effective one. I draw this conclusion by analyzing how this kind of educational approach reaches the desired results according to the general functions of education. But education is such a complicated issue and a single conclusion can't cover everything. There are some exceptions. And only if we investigate on a case-by-case basis, can we design the effective education under any possible circumstances.

leopard2009UID: 2596872

自己先顶一下哈！

houpei0126UID: 2643060

Education is always one of the hottest topics in our society. We all know the importance of good education to every citizen, every country and every society(这些名词概念有些重叠). But there are many debates on what is the effective approach in（approach to） educating our students. The speaker above obviously contends that the effective education should be tailored to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. While there are some exceptions that we should take into account, I generally agree that education would be truly effective when teachers try their best to meet the different needs and interests of every student.
Let's first define the term-"education" in discussion as the formal school education including preliminary schooling, middle school education and university one, since it is the main instrument in our society to educate citizens. In so far as (用法不常见)we will discuss the effectiveness of the school education, we must be clear of what are the desired results of education--specifically, what are the functions of education. Essentially, education serves to teach students some fundamental knowledge they may use in their future life, to help them understand the world, society, people and themselves, to let them realize where their potentials lie in and encourage them to take their advantage to fulfill that potentials, and to cultivate their critical thinking skills. It is these fundamental functions of education that help us choose the most effective approach in education. So let's move on to our topic to see whether an education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will be an effective one（句式用法重复较多）.When students are usually mature enough to know what their real needs and interests are, education devised to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is usually the effective one. For example, at the college level, because many students are gradually clear of their real needs and interests, if the teachers in their university can tailor their teaching method to meet these students' real needs and interests, the students may learn the fundamental knowledge for their future life in（with）pleasure and effectively. A tailored education method also can stir up the students' curiosity to the world, society, people and themselves. And the curiosity will lead the students to study actively rather than receive passively, which will undoubtedly deepen their understanding of the world, society, people and themselves. Anyone who has experiences in learning knows this. In addition, if education can't respect the different needs and interests of each student, the students have less chance to realize their potentials, because even the students know what their potentials are, the misunderstanding and criticism coming from the education system may be a big obstacle to overcome for the students in pursuit of fulfilling their potentials. Finally, the students educated by the approach designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student can let their ideas express freely without being feared to be penalized by the inconsistency to the standard answers. This encourages the students to think independently and fosters their critical thinking skills. Therefore, when students are clear of their real needs and interests, it's effective to educate them by meeting their individual needs and interests.
But the exception goes to the fact that not all students, even at the university level, be clear of their real needs and interests.  Also, even when they know their real needs and interests at present, they may not be clear of the ones in the future. So there should be another approach to effectively educate students（副词位置有错）, for example, through general standard tests to testify students' basic understanding of fundamental knowledge. Besides, an effective education should instill the universally accepted moral values, such as justice, love, equality and etc., into students（这个用法很奇怪）, long before they have understood their real needs and interests, because we all know how important these ethics are and how difficult it may be changed（改为to change,句子不会有歧义） without being formed properly at the students' early stage.
Education plays a vital role in the world development, in the civilization of our society, and in the success of every citizen. Because it has such significant functions, people want to know what the effective education is. Generally speaking, education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is the effective one. I draw this conclusion by analyzing how this kind of educational approach reaches the desired results according to the general functions of education. But education is such a complicated issue and a single conclusion can't cover everything. There are some exceptions. And only if we investigate on a case-by-case basis, can we design the effective education under any possible circumstances.
总体来说，文章写得不错了，论点鲜明，写出这样的长度已经相当不容易了。但是作者在有些句子的表达上，容易受汉语思维的束缚，表达不够地道，而且我觉得文章句式有些干涩，冗长。有的表达实质上可以更简洁些。
（很不错啦，比我强多了，嘿嘿）

houpei0126UID: 2643060

开始的时候，搞错了，就错误的批了你的第一篇，后来又看了第二篇，觉得进步了很多，不管从论点的说服性还是语言的表达上，都很不错。  不好意思，竟然搞错了！

dodoluluUID: 2641270

What kind of education is truly effective? This is a question that agitates这个词太梦幻了 educators, scholars, parents, every group, in fact, of thoughtful men and women. The speaker above gives his/her answer by stating that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet individual needs and interests of each student. I entirely agree with him/her, because I believe that only by devising education system to meet every student's needs and interests can the purpose of modern education be fulfilled, and that only if the purpose of modern education is reached can we say that education system is truly effective.

The purpose of modern education, in my opinion, is to free the mind and spirit of students rather than to confine them. That is to liberalize students' minds from the constraint of standardization and authority. All this requires education system to respect every student's creative and original ideas. And I think that only through designing education to meet every student's individual needs and interests can this purpose be achieved.这段真是激情澎湃，有点I HAVE A DREAM 的味道


Let's firstly look at what would happen if we design a standardized educational system ignoring the individual needs and interests of each student. In this education system, all students are treated as the same kind of flowers, therefore teachers and educators just use the standardized textbooks and methods to teach different students, just like the gardeners applying the standardized cultivating technologies to growing distinct flowers. Because their individual needs and interests are ignored, students in this system suffer from confining their mindminds and spiritspirits to the standardization process and painfully lose their curiosity and interests in study. This will definitely discourage students from coming up with creative and novel ideas, since their minds and spirits are confined and their interests and curiosity in study disappear. Take the conventional education system as an example. In that system, there are required same curriculums and textbooks for every student. Teachers use the same pedagogical methods to teach every student in the class. In the standardized tests, if a student gives his/her personal explanations for some questions, he/she may receive low scores.  Students are required to accept the knowledge without questioning. As a result, standardized knowledge, taught as the indisputable truth,  is instilled into the mind of each student. All this confines students' mind and spirit, which is the opposite of truly effective education. In a worse manner, education without caring the individual needs and interests of every student tends to view the students as the products produced on the standardized assemble lines rather than the human beings with different talents and potentials, which wastes the talents of each student and limits their potentials.这段的论述有点极端呀，standardized educational虽然是弊大于利，但不至于这么惨不忍睹吧，还有conventional education，中国的例子需要具体解释一下吧。不过看出来是受应试教育毒害不浅，强烈的控诉欲还是使文章很有激情！


On the contrary, our common sense tells us that every child is equipped with different talents and therefore has different routes to success. When I was a huge boy in the high school I knew this. In my class, James was very good at English speech but not very good at Mathematics. And Frank was a Math genius but couldn't even give a fine English presentation in front of the class. Modern education requires us to respect this difference and to design the individualized education system to teach them. Our education can't first set a standard, then say that due to James' poor performance in mathematics or Frank's clumsy English speech they are not good students. The truth is that James may become a great politician or CEO in the future, whereas Frank may be a great mathematician, if their education can be devised to meet their individual needs and interests.得体的例子，完全可以现编那种，学习 For instance, Terrence Tao, the great Australian mathematician, is extremely talented in math, while not very good at English speech. His teachers and parents discovered his high mathematical caliber at the early stage, then devised a special curriculum to meet Terrence's needs and interests. When he was in the preliminary school, he had the chance to learn advanced algebra and calculus courses, while his English ones were the same as his fellow peers'. Finally, at the age of early 30s, he was awarded a fields medal--the so-called mathematical Nobel prize. Without the individualized schooling, Terrence Tao's mind and spirit may have been constrained by the standardization and authority instead of freed and fully developed.两个例子，风格和前面差的好大，没那么激情了。不过没人说这么写不好


To sum up, the education system designed to meet each student's individual needs and interests fulfills the purpose of modern education to free the minds and spirits of students前后照应, therefore it's truly effective. Children with different needs and interests are like gems with distinctive characteristics, and only the individualized education can make them shine brightly. In contrast, education without caring students' individual needs and interests tends to confine their minds and spirits, and to ruin their talents and limit their potentials. In this sense, to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is the necessary condition for achieving the truly effective education
he/she, his/her，不用这么在意吧，否则考试时不小心漏掉一个就不太好了！
很少见的一边倒的写法，不过驳论的度很难把握，我觉得你的就有点过了。
很好的文章，很强的能力，加油

houpei0126UID: 2643060

What kind of education is truly effective? This is a question that agitates educators, scholars, parents, every group, (开头很新颖，比较特别，值得学习)in fact, of thoughtful men and women. The speaker above gives his/her answer by stating that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet individual needs and interests of each student. I entirely agree with him/her, because I believe that only by devising education system to meet every student's needs and interests can the purpose of modern education be fulfilled, and that only if the purpose of modern education is reached can we say that education system is truly effective.

The purpose of modern education, in my opinion, is to free the mind and spirit of students rather than to confine them. That is to liberalize students' minds from the constraint of standardization and authority. All this requires education system to respect every student's creative and original ideas. And I think that only through designing education to meet every student's individual needs and interests can this purpose be achieved(先总说).


Let's firstly look at what would happen if we design a standardized educational system ignoring the individual needs and interests of each student. （演绎推理，值得借鉴）In this education system, all students are treated as the same kind of flowers, therefore teachers and educators just use the standardized textbooks and methods to teach different students, just like the gardeners applying the standardized cultivating technologies to growing distinct flowers.（不错哦，比喻论证） Because their individual needs and interests are ignored, students in this system suffer from confining their mind and spirit to the standardization process and painfully lose their curiosity and interests in study. This will definitely discourage students from coming up with creative and novel ideas, since their mind and spirit are confined and their interests and curiosity in study disappear. Take the conventional education system as an example. In that system, there are required same curriculums and textbooks for every student. Teachers use the same pedagogical methods to teach every student in the class. In the standardized tests, if a student gives his/her personal explanations for some questions, he/she may receive low scores.  Students are required to accept the knowledge without questioning. As a result, standardized knowledge, taught as the indisputable truth,  is instilled into the mind of each student. All this confines students' mind and spirit, which is the opposite of truly effective education（是文章更加生动，也增加了信服力）. In a worse manner, education without caring the individual needs and interests of every student tends to view the students as the products produced on the standardized assemble lines rather than the human beings with different talents and potentials, which wastes the talents of each student and limits their potentials.


On the contrary, our common sense tells us that every child is equipped with different talents and therefore has different routes to success. (通过自己的事例论证)When I was a huge boy in the high school I knew this. In my class, James was very good at English speech but not very good at Mathematics. And Frank was a Math genius but couldn't even give a fine English presentation in front of the class. Modern education requires us to respect this difference and to design the individualized education system to teach them. Our education can't first set a standard, then say that due to James' poor performance in mathematics or Frank's clumsy English speech they are not good students. The truth is that James may become a great politician or CEO in the future, whereas Frank may be a great mathematician, if their education can be devised to meet their individual needs and interests. （具体事例）For instance, Terrence Tao, the great Australian mathematician, is extremely talented in math, while not very good at English speech. His teachers and parents discovered his high mathematical caliber at the early stage, then devised a special curriculum to meet Terrence's needs and interests. When he was in the preliminary school, he had the chance to learn advanced algebra and calculus courses, while his English ones were the same as his fellow peers'. Finally, at the age of early 30s, he was awarded a fields medal--the so-called mathematical Nobel prize（哈哈，我们复变老师也提到过他，很强）. Without the individualized schooling, Terrence Tao's mind and spirit may have been constrained by the standardization and authority instead of freed and fully developed.
由于本人能力有限，只能改这么多。关于应试教育那些，似乎有些偏激。
文章比较长，用的论据也比较多，使行文不那么干涩。句式应用也比之前老练多了。但是文章这么长，在真实的考场中会写到这样吗？有的地方可以适当取舍。

To sum up, the education system designed to meet each student's individual needs and interests fulfills the purpose of modern education to free the minds and spirits of students, therefore it's truly effective. Children with different needs and interests are like gems with distinctive characteristics, and only the individualized education can make them shine brightly. In contrast, education without caring students' individual needs and interests tends to confine their minds and spirits, and to ruin their talents and limit their potentials. In this sense, to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is the necessary condition for achieving the truly effective education.（总结）

二月蓝UID: 2643877

What kind of education is truly effective? This is a question that agitates educators, scholars, parents, every group, in fact, of thoughtful men and women. The speaker above gives his/her 这个不用写这么具体吧，应该写一个就可以了，考试万一丢一个怎么办answer by stating that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet individual needs and interests of each student. I entirely agree with him/her, because I believe that only by devising education system to meet every student's needs and interests can the purpose of modern education be fulfilled, and that only if the purpose of modern education is reached can we say that education system is truly effective.

The purpose of modern education, in my opinion, is to free the mind and spirit of students rather than to confine them. That is to liberalize students' minds from the constraint of standardization and authority. All this requires education system to respect every student's creative and original ideas. And I think that only through designing education to meet every student's individual needs and interests can this purpose be achieved.这一节的句式很好哦，值得学习，还有第一节的最后一句也一样优秀


Let's firstly look at what would happen if we design a standardized educational system ignoring the individual needs and interests of each student. In this education system, all students are treated as the same kind of flowers, therefore teachers and educators just use the standardized textbooks and methods to teach different students, just like the gardeners applying the standardized cultivating technologies to growing distinct flowers. Because their individual needs and interests are ignored, students in this system suffer from confining their mind and spirit to the standardization process and painfully lose their curiosity and interests in study. This will definitely discourage students from coming up with creative and novel ideas, since their mind and spirit are confined and their interests and curiosity in study disappear. Take the conventional education system as an example. In that system, there are required same curriculums and textbooks for every student. Teachers use the same pedagogical methods to teach every student in the class. In the standardized tests, if a student gives his/her personal explanations for some questions, he/she may receive low scores.  Students are required to accept the knowledge without questioning. As a result, standardized knowledge, taught as the indisputable truth,  is instilled into the mind of each student. All this confines students' mind and spirit, which is the opposite of truly effective education. In a worse manner, education without caring the individual needs and interests of every student tends to view the students as the products produced on the standardized assemble lines rather than the human beings with different talents and potentials, which wastes the talents of each student and limits their potentials.


On the contrary, our common sense tells us that every child is equipped with different talents and therefore has different routes to success. When I was a huge boy in the high school I knew this. In my class, James was very good at English speech but not very good at Mathematics. And Frank was a Math genius but couldn't even give a fine English presentation in front of the class. Modern education requires us to respect this difference and to design the individualized education system to teach them. Our education can't first set a standard, then say that due to James' poor performance in mathematics or Frank's clumsy English speech they are not good students. The truth is that James may become a great politician or CEO in the future, whereas Frank may be a great mathematician, if their education can be devised to meet their individual needs and interests. For instance, Terrence Tao, the great Australian mathematician, is extremely talented in math, while not very good at English speech. His teachers and parents discovered his high mathematical caliber at the early stage, then devised a special curriculum to meet Terrence's needs and interests. When he was in the preliminary school, he had the chance to learn advanced algebra and calculus courses, while his English ones were the same as his fellow peers'. Finally, at the age of early 30s, he was awarded a fields medal--the so-called mathematical Nobel prize. Without the individualized schooling, Terrence Tao's mind and spirit may have been constrained by the standardization and authority instead of freed and fully developed.


To sum up, the education system designed to meet each student's individual needs and interests fulfills the purpose of modern education to free the minds and spirits of students, therefore it's truly effective. Children with different needs and interests are like gems with distinctive characteristics, and only the individualized education can make them shine brightly. In contrast, education without caring students' individual needs and interests tends to confine their minds and spirits, and to ruin their talents and limit their potentials. In this sense, to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is the necessary condition for achieving the truly effective education.
写的很好哦，句子都很流畅，而且句式不错，个人觉得应该分不低
整个文章思路很清晰，反+正2个方面去说明
学习了