cracking ibt essay group 第十一次作业 zhuyongchaochao

zhuyongchaochaoUID: 2616114

第十一次作业（5月23日）周六晚22：00前交作业
    People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.
机经
48. Reasons why people work other than earning a living
Outline :
1
need money to support life basically
2
they devote themselves into the work that they are interested in
3
they elevate themselves and prove themselves by work to get achievement

    Dligence is a vertue to human being and people make progress by hard working. So we think highly of those hard workings and always set them as a great example to us. Then these delligent labors motivate us to work and earn more money.However, have you ever consider why people work? Does it only mean we need money for life ? As it for me, reasons for working are different from people to people. Here are some details followed to illustrate my opinion.

    To begin with, we simply must work hard to gain as much money as possible to support our basic life. One Chinese prestige novelist Nu Xun has warned the youth that they should first try to survive in the society then work to establish their career . When considering young graduates' first job, you will find that most of their jobs are not associated with their majors. But the youth have to work and earn money to live independently from their parents. So most of the youth work just for money for the time being. The much money they can earn, the better they will survive in such a competitive society.
    However, not every just work for money since money is not the only things that people love. As long as you have a great passion in your work and are infracturated by your charming unique work, you will devote yourselfs to your beloved career without minding what you lose or how much your earned. For example, the famous athlete Liu Xiang is pretty talented in sport, he is the one who run for his deep interest not just for money. Another actor Zhang Guoli, who has a lot of reputation for his devotion to movie , said that his favorite food is instant noodles when his working. And you can imagine that if one love his work, anything besides doing the work well are out of consideration.

    What is more, the most important reason for hard working is that people can elevate themselves and prove themselves by work and get celebrated achievements. Our work offers us money so that we can survive , yet our profession provide us with personal achievement and inner value of ourseves. A driver has the duty to send someone home safely, and the doctor will get the deepest respect from their patient. A teacher will be proud of their excellent student that they train carefully, and a lawyer will receive multiple thanks after win a suit for a society weaker. People will feel a sense of satisfaction after they succeed in their working and will appreciate what their professions create. They are gaining and creating themselves glamorous value by working!

    To sum up, we work because we must work, still we work to love our work deeply, then we prove themselves by creating achievement. There is one saying goes labor is the most beautiful man in the world. So please remember to love work, enjoy work and work successfully!

shancaoUID: 2637576

亲亲的楼主啊，我还有不到一个月，作文就写过几篇，我现在真的不知道怎么弄自己的作文了！

你是怎么复习的啊？每天关于作文都干些什么呢？:loveliness:

我想找一个模板，不知道哪里能有啊？

呵呵，谢谢指点，鞠躬！:hug:

wangxinfeiUID: 2633557

Outline :4 Z- O$ {% i6 Y% |
need money to support life basically
they devote themselves into the work that they are interested in# a  b5 {" J1 ^
n( }( N
they elevate themselves and prove themselves by work to get achievement 0 y% J3 H6 [' W

Delligence is a verture to human being and people make progress by hard working. So we think highly of those hard workings（不用变复数吧） and always set them as a great example to us. Then these delligent（diligent） labors motivate us to work and earn more money.However, have you ever consider why people work? Does it only mean we need money for life ? As it for me, reasons for working are different from people to people. Here are some details followed to illustrate my opinion.

m0 U, R- R
To begin with, we simply must work hard to gain as much money as possible to support our basic life. One Chinese prestige novelist Nu Xun has warned the youth that they should first try to survive in the society then work to establish their career . When consider（cosidering） young graduates（‘s，所有格） first job, you will find that most of there jobs are not associated with their majors. But the youth have to work and earn money to live independently from their parents. So most of the youth work just for money for the time being. The much money they can earn, the better they will survive in such a competitive society. . x9 b( |, ~" ?2 x; ?  r- J

However, not every （everyone）just work for money since money is not the only things that people love. As long as you have a great passion in your work and are infracturated by your charming unique work, many will devote themselves to their beloved career without minding what they lose or how much they earned（这句里面感觉应该继续用第二人称，因为as long as 用的是第二人称）. For example, the famous athlete Liu Xiang is pretty talent （talent我一查是名词.....）in sport, he is the one who run for his deep interest not just for money. Another actor Zhang Guoli, who has a lot of reputation for his devotion to movie , said that his favorite food is instant noodles when his working. And you can imagine that if one love his work, anything besides doing the work well are out of consideration.; m: k  W4 h% @9

e) x1 b: z0 O
What is more, the most important reason for hard working is that people can elevate themselves and9 ^4 ]: l$ `& H: [" b& s, [
prove themselves by work and get celebrated achievements. Our work offers us money so that we can survive , yet our profession provide us personal achievement and inner value of ourseves. A driver has the duty to send someone home safely, and the doctor will get the deepest respect from their patient. A teacher will be proud of their excellent student that they train carefully, and a lawyer will receive multiple thanks after win a suit for a society weaker. People will feel a sense of satisfaction after they succeed in their working and will appreciate what their professions create. They are gaining and creating themselves glamorous value by working!) n7 h, G, u+ K0 x:

\8 \
To sum up, we work because we must work, still we work to love our work deeply, then we prove themselves by creating achievement. There is one saying goes labor is the most beautiful man in the world. So please remember to love work, enjoy work and work successfully!

第三个分论点最精彩，放最后也很恰当，总的来说，可以改进的地方时，第一第二段里面的句子之间的联系可以再加强些，再顺畅些

zhuyongchaochaoUID: 2616114

亲亲的楼主啊，我还有不到一个月，作文就写过几篇，我现在真的不知道怎么弄自己的作文了！

你是怎么复习的啊？每天关于作文都干些什么呢？:loveliness:

我想找一个模板，不知道哪里能有啊？

呵呵，谢谢指点 ...
shancao 发表于 2009-5-24 16:28

我刚开始写作文也和你一样，不急。

一个月可以做很多事情，可以提高英语很多的，莫急。

作文多看，多写，见多写得多就好老。

群里有模版，但是写文章不一定要看模版，写到后面按照自己的想法写。

文章的内容思想很重要。

MARC09UID: 2641231

1# zhuyongchaochao

Dligence is a vertue to human being and people make progress by hard working. So we think highly of those hard workings and always set them as a great example to us. Then these delligent labors motivate us to work and earn more money.However, have you ever considered why people work? Does it only mean we need money for life ? As it for me, reasons for working are different from people to people. Here are some details followed to illustrate my opinion. 第一段论点不明确, 除了earn money,到底还有什么原因?



To begin with, we simply must work hard to gain as much money as possible to support our basic life. One Chinese prestige novelist Nu Xun has warned the youth that they should first try to survive in the society then work to establish their career . When considering young graduates' first job, you will find that most of their jobs are not associated with their majors Is that true? . But the youth have to work and earn money to live independently from their parents. So most of the youth work just for money for the time being. The much money they can earn, the better they will survive in such a competitive society. 做与专业不同的工作跟为了earn money有什么关系? 难道做了同专业就不是为了earn money?难道他们一定喜欢自己的专业?





However, not everyone just work for money since money is not the only things that people love. As long as you have a great passion in your work and are infracturated by your charming unique work, you will devote yourselfs to your beloved career without minding what you lose or how much your earned. For example, the famous athlete Liu Xiang is pretty talented in sport, he is the one who run for his deep interest not just for money.你怎么知道他不为money?需要另一句话或一些细节交待 Another actor Zhang Guoli, who has a lot of reputation for his devotion to movie , said that his favorite food is instant noodles when his working. 虽然我不认为他不爱钱,不过这也不是不可以成为一个例子,但在这句话后需要另一些议论补充And you can imagine that if one love his work, anything besides doing the work well are out of consideration.





What is more, the most important reason for hard working is that people can elevate themselves and prove themselves by work and get celebrated achievements.如果是most important的理由,那最好放在第二段,作为强烈的转折 Our work offers us money so that we can survive , yet our profession provide us with personal achievement and inner value of ourseves. A driver has the duty to send someone home safely, 这个貌似是责任,不是让他们骄傲的成就and the doctor will get the deepest respect from their patient. A teacher will be proud of their excellent student that they train carefully, and a lawyer will receive multiple thanks after win a suit for a society weaker. People will feel a sense of satisfaction after they succeed in their working and will appreciate what their professions create. They are gaining and creating themselves glamorous value by working!这段排比例证很好!, Q3这段 t/ \% p8 g0 N) {
0 ^/ B2 H  v& ~  U- c; k: j
   

To sum up, we work because we must work, still we work to love our work deeply, then we prove themselves by creating achievement.此句还需雕琢,后两个理由需要强调 There is one saying goes labor is the most beautiful man in the world. So please remember to love work, enjoy work and work successfully!

好的就不多说啦,第一段最好开篇名义,各段举例之前后需要加强论证的语句.LZ加油!

zhuyongchaochaoUID: 2616114

Dligence is a vertue to human being and people make progress by hard working. So we think highly of those hard workings and always set them as a great example to us. Then these delligent labors motivate us to work and earn more money.However, have you ever considered why people work? Does it only mean we need money for life ? As it for me, reasons for working are different from people to people. Here are some details followed to illustrate my opinion. 第一段论点不明确, 除了earn money,到底还有什么原因?
哪里论点不明确了？！ 在我的outline里面，也就是每段的断首都写出了work 的意义。又不是一定要像模版列出来一二三。

To begin with, we simply must work hard to gain as much money as possible to support our basic life. One Chinese prestige novelist Nu Xun has warned the youth that they should first try to survive in the society then work to establish their career . When considering young graduates' first job, you will find that most of their jobs are not associated with their majors Is that true? . But the youth have to work and earn money to live independently from their parents. So most of the youth work just for money for the time being. The much money they can earn, the better they will survive in such a competitive society. 做与专业不同的工作跟为了earn money有什么关系? 难道做了同专业就不是为了earn money?难道他们一定喜欢自己的专业?)

为了生存，他们首先得学会挣钱来养自己，earn money.你没看清楚不要乱说。。。

However, not everyone just work for money since money is not the only things that people love. As long as you have a great passion in your work and are infracturated by your charming unique work, you will devote yourselfs to your beloved career without minding what you lose or how much your earned. For example, the famous athlete Liu Xiang is pretty talented in sport, he is the one who run for his deep interest not just for money.你怎么知道他不为money?需要另一句话或一些细节交待（我说的是not just for money!) Another actor Zhang Guoli, who has a lot of reputation for his devotion to movie , said that his favorite food is instant noodles when his working. 虽然我不认为他不爱钱,不过这也不是不可以成为一个例子,但在这句话后需要另一些议论补充And you can imagine that if one love his work, anything besides doing the work well are out of consideration.

What is more, the most important reason for hard working is that people can elevate themselves and prove themselves by work and get celebrated achievements.如果是most important的理由,那最好放在第二段,作为强烈的转折(最重要的理由肯定是放段末，做压轴，为什么要放到老二的位置？） Our work offers us money so that we can survive , yet our profession provide us with personal achievement and inner value of ourseves. A driver has the duty to send someone home safely, 这个貌似是责任,不是让他们骄傲的成就（安全到家，还不是责任呀？）and the doctor will get the deepest respect from their patient. A teacher will be proud of their excellent student that they train carefully, and a lawyer will receive multiple thanks after win a suit for a society weaker. People will feel a sense of satisfaction after they succeed in their working and will appreciate what their professions create. They are gaining and creating themselves glamorous value by working!这段排比例证很好!, Q3这段

To sum up, we work because we must work, still we work to love our work deeply, then we prove themselves by creating achievement.此句还需雕琢,后两个理由需要强调 There is one saying goes labor is the most beautiful man in the world. So please remember to love work, enjoy work and work successfully!

好的就不多说啦,第一段最好开篇名义,各段举例之前后需要加强论证的语句.LZ加油!
谢谢指正

zhuyongchaochaoUID: 2616114

感谢Marc!

czongUID: 2552963

Diligence   Virtue
楼主一上来拼写就错啊~

zhuyongchaochaoUID: 2616114

我一直比较健忘，记性不好哈~
是这样的
改了就好~