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[a习作temp] Argument7 =So What=小组第1次作业 by linyan821230 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-5-24 15:36:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 linyan821230 于 2009-5-24 22:40 编辑

这周没有看到合适的例子。在看一本原来在寄托上下的电子书《极好的写作教材》,有一点笔记,和大家共享。

在写arguement的时候,需要注意:
1. It is important to include the opposing arguments to show your reader that: you have considered both sides of the argument; and you are able to anticipate and criticize any opposing arguments before they are even stated. 在反对意见和所持意见之间可用however

2. 在段落中列出opposing argument时需要使用某些problematising phrase,使读者明白这不是事实,而是你即将批驳的一些反面观点。反面观点可以通过以下方式引出: It has been argued that …. Another argument against the use of … is that …. It could (further) be asserted that ….This argument assumes that ….It claims that ….

For example: It could be argued that computers create unemployment. However, computers actually create many new forms of employment that never existed before.
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发表于 2009-5-24 15:41:21 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 linyan821230 于 2009-5-29 22:01 编辑

重写
The author suggests that in next mayoral election the residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than Frank Braun, a member of the town council which is not protecting the environment through the author’s description. The arguer believes Ann Green can certainly solve the environment problems for her membership in the Good Earth Coalition. There are several flaws in the argument.

It has been argued that one of the reasons that Frank should not be voted is that the current council members are not protecting the environment. However, the facts that the number of factories has doubled, air pollution levels have increased and the local hospital has treated 25% more patients are not cogent to prove that the town council hasn’t done well in environment protecting. It is possible that the number of factories last year was triple or four times more than that of the year before last year, and the air pollution levels had increased more significantly before. In the argument it seems that the air pollution is the result of the doubled number of factories. There is possibility that the factories have done perfectly in dealing with the waste gases and water, which means the increased factories have nothing to do with the air pollution. And the increased factories may be the result of rapid economical growth which improves the citizen’s life. With better income, the people may buy more automobiles that give off waste gases to pollute the air. In addition, there isn’t necessary link between the air pollution and respiratory diseases. The author is failing to consider other alternatives. Such alternatives may include a sudden influenza spread. Or there are well-known departments of respiratory disease in the hospitals in Clearview so that many patients all over the nation came here for treatment. It appears reasonable for the citizens to check the past 3-5 years’ environment condition to decide whether the town council has not protected the environment.

Secondly, even if the town council really hasn’t done much in the environment protecting, there is no evidence to show that Frank doesn’t care about the environmental problems. It is possible that Frank is the minority in the council who emphasizes the environment but didn't get support.

Finally, it has been asserted by the author that Ann will certainly solve all the environmental problems for he is the member of the Good Earth Coalition. However, the membership in an environment-friend coalition doesn’t prove that Ann has the ability to solve the environmental problems. To be a mayor requires not just the enthusiasm for environment, but also the ability to solve problems, the outlook over all aspects of citizen life, considering economy, industry and environment in balance. No evidence shows that Ann has such ability.


In conclusion, the argument proves arbitrary. The arguer doesn’t provide cogent evidence to show the current city council is not protecting the environment and the proof that Ann has the ability to solve all these problems. It is unfair to choose a mayor by which organization the candidates belong to. The residents will vote for the candidate who can make Clearview better.

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发表于 2009-5-26 00:50:48 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 miki7cat 于 2009-5-26 00:52 编辑

The author suggests that in next mayoral election the residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than Frank Braun, a member of the town council which [hasn’t protected](个人认为这里不应该用现在完成时。用一般现在时或者现在进行时更好。) the environment through the author’s description. He [or she] believes Ann Green can certainly solve the environment problems for [his] <she is>(Ann是女子名) a membership in the Good Earth Coalition. There are several flaws in the argument.

It has been argued that one of the reasons that Frank should not be voted is that the current council members are not protecting the environment. However, the facts that the number of factories has doubled, air pollution levels have increased and the local hospital has treated 25% more patients are not cogent to prove that the town council hasn’t done well in environment protecting. It is possible that the number of factories last year was triple or four times more than that of the year before last year, and the air pollution levels had increased more significantly before. In the argument it seems that the air pollution is the result of the doubled number of factories. There is possibility that the factories have done perfectly in dealing with the waste gases and water, which means the increased factories have nothing to do with the air pollution. And the increased factories may be the result of rapid economical growth which improves the citizen’s life. With better income, the people may buy more automobiles that give off waste gases to pollute the air. In addition, there isn’t necessary link between the air pollution and respiratory diseases. The author is failing to consider other alternatives. Such alternatives may include a sudden influenza spread. Or there are well-known departments of respiratory disease in the hospitals in Clearview so that many patients all over the nation came here for treatment. It appears reasonable for the citizens to check the past 3-5 years’ environment condition to decide whether the town council hasn’t protected the environment.

Secondly, even if the town council really hasn’t done much in the environment protecting, there is no evidence to show that Frank doesn’t care about the environmental problems. It is possible that Frank is the minority in the council who emphasizes the environment but didn’t get support.

Finally, it has been asserted by the author that Ann will certainly solve all the environmental problems for he is the member of the Good Earth Coalition. However, the membership in an environment-friend coalition doesn’t prove that Ann has the ability to solve the environmental problems. To be a mayor requires not just the enthusiasm for environment, but also the ability to solve problems, the outlook over all aspects of citizen life, considering economy, industry and environment in balance. Whether Ann has such ability? That is a question.

In conclusion,[ it appears wise for the residents in Clearview not to vote for Ann just because [he] <she> has membership in the Good Earth Coalition, not to object Frank because it seems that the air pollution level increased this year. ](有两个not to do sth.?这句没看懂)In the election, Frank should illustrate his achievement and try his best to improve the air condition, while Ann should show [his] <her> ability and scheme in all aspects of life. The residents will vote for the candidate who can make Clearview better.

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发表于 2009-5-26 23:25:02 |只看该作者
The author suggests that in next mayoral election the residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than Frank Braun, a member of the town council which hasn’t protected the environment through the author’s description. He believes Ann Green can certainly solve the environment problems for his a membership(membeiship或 a member) in the Good Earth Coalition. There are several flaws in the argument. 首段应该把题目大致复述 这里缺少对论据的再现 但我不确定可不可以???

it as  been argued that one of the reasons that Frank should not be voted is that the current council members are not protecting the environment. However, the facts that the number of factories has doubled, air pollution levels have increased and the local hospital has treated 25% more patients are not cogent to prove that the town council hasn’t done well in environment protecting. It is possible that the number of factories last year was triple or four times more than that of the year before last year, and the air pollution levels had increased more significantly before. In the argument it seems that the air pollution is the result of the doubled number of factories. There is possibility that the factories have done perfectly in dealing with the waste gases and water, which means the increased factories have nothing to do with the air pollution. And the increased factories may be the result of rapid economical growth which improves the citizen’s life. (For example )  with    better  income, the people may buy more automobiles that give off waste gases to pollute the air(有力的驳斥 学习addition, there isn’t necessary link between the air pollution and respiratory diseases. The author is failing to consider other alternatives. Such alternatives may include a sudden influenza spread. Or there are well-known departments of respiratory disease in the hospitals in Clearview so that many patients all over the nation came here for treatment. It appears reasonable for the citizens to check the past 3-5 years’ environment condition to decide whether the town council hasn’t不能缩写 protected the environment


Secondly, even if the town council really hasn’t done much in the environment protecting, there is no evidence to show that Frank doesn’t care about the environmental problems. It is possible that Frank is the minority in the council who emphasizes the environment but didn’t get support.(表达的好 我也想同样的意思 就没有如此言简意赅 学习)

nally, it has been asserted by the author that Ann will certainly solve all the environmental problems for he is the member of the Good Earth Coalition. However, the membership in an environment-friendly  coalition doesn’t prove that Ann has the ability to solve the environmental problems. To be a mayor requires not just the enthusiasm for environment, but also the ability to solve problems, the outlook over all aspects of citizen life, considering economy, industry and environment in balance. Whether Ann has such ability? That is a question.(可以这么写吗???个人觉得最好用陈述句 )

clusion, it appears wise for the residents in Clearview not to vote for Ann just because he has membership in the Good Earth Coalition, not to object Frank because it seems that the air pollution level increased this year. In the election, Frank should illustrate his achievement and try his best to improve the air condition, while Ann should show his ability and scheme in all aspects of life. The residents will vote for the candidate who can make Clearview better.(这个结尾段 我持保留态度)

Lin童鞋的前面都不错 至少目前对我来讲 我的挑错都是鸡蛋里挑骨头了
但结尾段  我无法确定
HLL滴飘走~~~

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RE: Argument7 =So What=小组第1次作业 by linyan821230 [修改]

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