“大洋彼岸之风”xiaoxiaoW备考宣言

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

类比issue7
233,Although innovations such as video, computers, and the Internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real .learning.
关键词：innovations，improved methods，instructing，real learning.
核心是：两者的比较、
1 instructing students 什么？ instructing students
1---基本的人生观价值观。
2---基本的生存技能
3---对自身兴趣的开发
2  如何满足学习的要求？要求学习的手段必须－可以交流＋可以反馈＋可以传授（可交流指的是要有一个介质供多人讨论，反馈指的是可以随时检验学习效果，传授是可以接受知识）
1—        交流对比
2—        反馈对比
3—        传授对比
4—        除此之外，innovations 有一个致命的缺点，就是学生无法感受到真正直观学习的触感，质感，和与人交流的锻炼 而real是可以表达的。所以无法代替real  learning，但100年后如何，谁也不知道

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

类比1
122.We owe almost all our knowledge not to people who agreed, but to people who have disagreed.
关键词：agreed  disagreed
核心是：contradicting views 是进步的根源。
1 人们学习知识的目的
1—        认识世界
2—        适应这个世界
2  through  (education failure contradicting views) to  learn
1---指出自身观点的缺陷所在，让人从不同的角度改善自己的观点。地球中心说。
2—得到更加广阔的思路，使自己有更多的选择。
3---是一种思想得以传播和改良的根本
3  agree同一种观点，那么agree 会使人的自信增加
3—        可以完善已有的观念。
4—        一味地agree会导致多样性的失去，知识面狭窄，片面。
反驳的声音不能盲目地听从，要理性的看待。否则会丧失自己的主见。
5结：无论是支持的还是反对的，我们要理智的看待，虚心接受。

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

类比8
202 Unlike great thinkers and great artist, the most effective political leaders must often yield to public opinion and abandon principle or the sake of compromise.
关键词：effective  abandon principle  
核心是：领导者怎样做才是有效？.
1  political leaders 的职责所在
1---使社会保持一个健康的整体，并积极发展。
2---带给public 最大的利益
（三个代表）
2  great thinkers and great artists do not have to appeal to the opinions of the public.
3  for politic leaders, winning the favor of the public is the key to effective leadership.
1—        获得民心才能更进一步的统领人民。
2—        领导人有时候不能体会民众的生活 就要以民众的呼声来做决定，真正以人民为根本
4  如：但是民众的知识面有限 在民众收蛊惑时要带领人民走出愚昧。
5总结 总的来说，领导人的决定应该一切以人民的利益为第一位考虑，根据人民的利益来决定是否abandon principle

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

8、"It is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public." 总频69 政治类

关键词：necessary  withhold information  
核心是：whether doing so benefits the public.
1  political leaders 的职责所在
1---使社会保持一个健康的整体，并积极发展。
2---带给public 最大的利益
（三个代表）
2  public有权利知道information
1---关系到自身的利益。
2—对政府的工作是一种监督
3---官民的思想相结合统一
3  有时候应该 withhold
3—        对社会有害处时。为保证群众的安宁
4—        关系到国家机密。
4结：benefits the public 是核心

Political leaders are those guys people vote to for the sake of the ability and possibility they have to promote the development of the society. They are powerful, yet the very reason they are chosen is that they have the responsibility to bring to the public a better and more stable life.
So, what is a better life like?  That having a stable life without wars, a perspective view of the possibility of future is some kind of a better life. Political leaders should keep the public informed with the latest and significant news and methods the authority take in some condition to consolidate the public and the society together, so that the public can act as an union which leads to not only a stabilized society, but also a better economy and political circumstance for both native authority and other countries. Only thus can political leaders do their best to cater the public.
What mentioned above leads to the fact that sometimes the public should keep being informed, which can be proved by the following 3 points. First of all, as the most important part of the society, the public are directly influenced by every method the authority take, so the public deserve to know the information that relates to their lives. In addition, political leaders are so powerful because they are in charge of almost all aspects of the society so that there is a great possibility for those leaders whose characteristics are skewed to make profits for themselves instead of doing their best for the public, if so, it is definitely wrong for the authority to withhold information from the public, as a fact, the public plays an important role in supervising the political leaders doing their jobs. Finally, keeping the public informed is a significant method to help political leaders to make the right decision, since if the authority makes a decision which happen to differs from the hope of public, keeping the public makes a timely response.
While the public should not be informed under every circumstance, especially when they are agitated. It is necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from public if the information should be confidential and relates to the safety of the whole country. Considering the great number of the residents, it is impossible to secrete an important information, so to withhold it from the public is the appropriate choice. And some information may leads to the panic of the society, if so, political leaders should also withhold information to avoid an agitated and panic society.
So , with the summary of those opinions I mentioned above, we can find that the pith of this issue is that whether political leaders make the society better for the public, people have the right to know the truth so sometimes political leaders should keep the public informed with the information of the authority, yet for the stability of the society, for a better life, sometimes political leaders should withhold information from the public, which benefits the public at some points.

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

哎呀   昨天网断了  今天来补上
昨天的效果不是很好  大概是因为太闲了就诈骗记不起来的缘故
看了500多个单词
做了一篇eco
其余都没做……

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

接下来是今天的了
今天还是沉浸在极度的悠闲中
不过终于过了2000个单词
开始背诵范文、
z做eco

juventuslandUID：2631955

Political leaders are those guys people vote to for the sake of the ability and possibility they have to promote the development of the society（这句感觉有点问题，SAKE是LEADERS的行为还能看出来，但ability和possibility是什么？是否要说明下。后面的they have to promote the development of the society是句完整句子，但却不知道修饰了哪里的成分。句子过长表达上有时表达不，这里建议用短句连接）. They are powerful, yet the very reason they are chosen is that they have the responsibility to bring to the public a better and more stable life（bring to public?being 什么呢？有bring sth to sb 的结构，这样可以理解成把他们有的责任带给公众好的生活，觉得意思不是很通顺，我知道你的意思是这种责任的内容是带来好的生活，但我找网络找不到直接用bring to sb的结构）.
    So, what is a better life like?  That having a stable life without wars, a perspective view of the possibility of future is some kind of a better life（这里说了什么也是BETTER LIFE，但前面提出的问题是better life 是什么啊，改下结构把）. Political leaders should keep the public informed with the latest and significant news and methods the authority take in some condition(什么特定条件？） to consolidate the public and the society together, so that the public can act as an union which leads to not only a stabilized society, but also a better economy（economical) and political circumstance for both native authority and other countries. Only thus can political leaders do their best to cater(cater for) the public.
    What mentioned above leads to the fact that sometimes the public should keep being informed, which can be proved by the following 3 points（如果这是一个需要用3点证明的已经导出的事实，好像有点问题。还是理解成要证明上面提出的可以leads to it？）. First of all, as the most important part of the society, the public are directly influenced by every method the authority take, so the public deserve to know the information that relates to their lives. Second of all（用句太CHINESE，可以考虑变换结构）, political leaders are so powerful because they are in charge of almost all aspects of the society so that there is a great possibility for those leaders whose characteristics are skewed to make profits for themselves instead of doing their best for the public, if so, it is definitely wrong for the authority to withhold information from the public, as a fact, the public plays an important role in supervising the political leaders doing their jobs（这里表达的是一些不称职的政治家为自己谋取利益，而人民在监督中起重要作用，因此隐瞒信息不对。总觉得有点问题。i你最后是要看能否提高人民生活为最终目的，在这里应该阐述这种不称执政家隐瞒信息带来的危害。） Third of all, keeping the public informed is a significant method to help political leaders to make the right decision, since if the authority makes a decision which happen to differs from the hope of public, keeping the public makes a timely response.（这句没明白，为什么这样能让leaders做出正确决定？是因为当autority做出有悖于人民愿望的决定时，能得到及时回应吗？那还是做出了错误决定。）我建议作者重新理一下=思路，把这一段重新整理一下。
    While the public should not be informed under every circumstance, especially when they are agitated. It is necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from public（重申题目论点？） if the information should be confidential and relates to the safety of the whole country（关系到国家安全就要隐瞒，这个不一定吧。而且什么情况的信息应该被隐藏下面也没说明）. Considering the great number of the residents, it is impossible to secrete an important information（信息不可数）, so to withhold it from the public is the appropriate choice（人太多隐藏重要信息是不可能的，所以对公众隐藏信息是一个合适的选择。。。想表达的意思矛盾啊，secrete只有分泌和隐藏的意思吧）. And some information may leads to the panic of the society(这里比较空，举些例子建议）, if so, political leaders should also withhold information to avoid an agitated and panic society.（感觉这段的论证可以再精简一些，然后再加上具体事例。可能是xiaowang同学怕字不够么？）
    So , with the summary of those opinions I mentioned above, we can find that the pith of this issue is that whether political leaders make the society better for the public（你前面论证了让人们保持了解信息，是可以让人们生活更好，然后又说有时候隐瞒信息是必要的。这些结论不能得出whether political leaders make the society better for the public这样大的结论吧。。再说吧，如果leader都不能把社会搞好了，那谈这个意义也不是很大了）, people have the right to know the truth so sometimes political leaders should keep the public informed with the information of the authority, yet for the stability of the society, for a better life, sometimes political leaders should withhold information from the public, which benefits the public at some points（意思是在一些方面？在什么方面啊.，前面好像没有提到）


    第一次改作文随便说点吧，首先我承认自己作文水平不算好，那么改作文也并不能完美，提出来的意见如有问题希望XIAOWANG与我共同讨论。。。我对这篇作业的意见呢就是。论证不够紧密，比较空泛，缺乏实际例子。而且好像在几个地方存在矛盾。当然我也觉得和这篇文章不好写有关，政治性题材对于我们来说发挥的难度更大点吧。。。然后还有个建议是，建议一开始写作文还是尽量别用太长的句子，因为容易出错。一开始先要培养写ISSUE的思路和论证思想的逻辑性，熟练之后再开始更注重句式，像现在你写的长句子我不敢多改，但还是觉得有问题的，读起来也不容易理解。。。
   分数给3分吧，总体感觉就是论证比较空，逻辑性不够。语法句式上还好（我的大问题）。。大家都从摸黑起步，话说我的写作也是摸索阶段呢。。。一起加油吧。

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-962648-1-1.html
同主题写作第一期

Virtual_ProUID：2560768

Political leaders are those guys（非正式用语，不适合出现在g中，替换成who） people vote to（没有vote to sb. 的用法） for the sake of the ability and possibility they have to promote the development of the society. They are powerful, yet（并列关系为什么要用yet来连接） the very reason they are chosen is that they have the responsibility to bring to the public a better and more stable life.
（首段并没有给出关于题目的观点，只是引出了political leaders的概念，似乎不是一个好的论证开头。不过这只是个人理解，你可以保留自己的观点）

So, what is a better life like?  That having a stable life without wars, a perspective view of the possibility of future is some kind of a better life. Political leaders should keep the public informed with the latest and significant news and methods the authority take in some condition to consolidate the public and the society together,（感觉太长了，这里是否可以断开。 so that the public can act as an union which leads to not only a stabilized society, but also a better economy and political circumstance for both native authority and other countries. Only thus can political leaders do their best to cater the public.
（此段论证一个好的领导人是什么样子的，感觉还是没进入正题啊，我都急死了……）

What mentioned above leads to the fact that sometimes the public should keep being informed, which can be proved by the following 3 points. First of all, as the most important part of the society, the public are directly influenced by every method the authority take（之前用过，原样重复不太好，建议改写）, so the public deserve to know the information that relates to their lives. In addition, political leaders are so powerful because they are in charge of almost all aspects of the society so that there is a great possibility for those leaders whose characteristics are skewed to make profits for themselves instead of doing their best for the public, （太长了，读着一口气都喘不上来……）if so, it is definitely wrong for the authority to withhold information from the public, as a fact, the public plays an important role in supervising the political leaders doing their jobs. Finally, keeping the public informed is a significant method to help political leaders to make the right decision, since if the authority makes a decision which happen to differs from the hope of public, keeping the public makes a timely response.
（感觉三点论证都没有展开，不充分的感觉，个人觉得，这是之前开头入题太慢的后遗症）

While the public should not be informed under（这个介词不正确吧） every（每一个？） circumstance, especially when they are agitated. It is necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from public if the information should be confidential and relates to the safety of the whole country. Considering the great number of the residents, it is impossible to secrete an important information, so to withhold it from the public is the appropriate choice. And some information may leads to the panic of the society, if so, political leaders should also withhold information to avoid an agitated and panic society.
（之前我也是这样的写法，N多个原因，每个提到一点。后来看范文，发现好的写法是写1到2个原因，每个论述清楚。我觉得这样比较好。供你参考。）

So（Therefore） , with the（去掉？） summary（sum） of those opinions I mentioned above, we can find that the pith of this issue is that whether political leaders make the society better for the public, people have the right to know the truth so sometimes political leaders should keep the public informed with the information of the authority, yet for the stability of the society, for a better life, sometimes political leaders should withhold information from the public, which benefits the public at some points.

鉴于之前juventusland同学仔细改过词句，我就从结构上入手，提供一些修改意见。总体感觉还是论证的框架没有架构好，内容有失衡的嫌疑。如同J同学所说，我们都处于摸黑阶段，所以问题多多也是正常的。现在的不好才是我们要奋斗的原因，才是我们去努力的意义，这样才最有成功的喜悦。用这句话勉励自己，也希望与你们共勉。

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

24# Virtual_Pro
嗯   多谢组长和副组长的点评
发现好的写法是写1到2个原因，每个论述清楚
要试试
开头慢确实是我的弱项
现在对于issue的结构还处于摸索阶段   但我会一点一点学会一个好的论证框架是什么样子的

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by xiaoxiaoW
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-963532-1-1.html

xiaoxiaoWUID：2611108

同主题写作第四期
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=971211&extra=