Issue7 =So What=小组第一次作业 by xwlove

xwloveUID: 2481588

   
Issue7 =So What=小组第一次作业 by xwlove

xwloveUID: 2481588

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
摄像机可以通过如此精确而有力的记录手段来再现当代生活，因此它已经代替书面记录成为了一种更重要的记录手段。

字数：426          用时：01:40:09          日期：2009/5/24 23:45:04

提纲：
topic sentence: The relationship of the two can be likened to a knife and fork, that is, a combination of video camera and written words is more preferred when one tradeoffs in how to provide a wonderful record of contemporary life.

1正：video camera presents a more convincing profile of events, in contrast with tedious and prolonged written words. In addition, with the help of video camera, we can comprehend the documents more effectively


2反：the video camera is no one-size-suit-al, video camera can't record anything at anytime due to some technology problems. Meanwhile a record video camera in itself brings inconvenience; overstating the accuracy of a video record may conceal truth

3 反：Written words boast a lot of advantages compared with the video camera.

xwloveUID: 2481588

One might say that the video camera plays a more considerable part than written words in providing a record of contemporary life. But we probably will not agree with a through reflection. The relationship of the two can be likened to a knife and fork, that is, a combination of video camera and written words is more preferred when one tradeoffs in how to provide a wonderful record of contemporary life.

   Undoubtedly, the video camera, a technology of vital significance which leads to a revolution of recording, presents a more convincing profile of events, in contrast with tedious and prolonged written words. For instance, if a lawyer determines to learn something about a complicated case, obviously, he will prefer to watch a video camera first. In addition, with the help of video camera, we can comprehend the documents more effectively, simply because the video camera gives an accurate and vivid record of events.

   Nevertheless, the video camera is no one-size-suit-all, say, when it concerns with privacy in a suitcase，even if the video camera provides a convincing proof, it is thought to be illegal when it violates privacy. Also, video camera can't record anything at anytime due to some technology problems. Meanwhile a record video camera in itself brings inconvenience because it can not be read without a video player or a computer. In addition, overstating the accuracy of a video record may conceal truth, since what we see is not likely the truth and we can be cheated by our own eyes sometimes without a thorough reasoning.

   Written words, as a traditional form of recording, boast a lot of advantages compared with the video camera. For instance, it can be easily edited, compiled or searched in a library. Although written words can not provide a vivid picture like the video camera, they leave a space of imagination and deduction, which seems more precise and strict. No wonder that Written words are still popular around a majority of conservative people.  

   Consequently, both video camera and written words play a vital role to help with an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, neither a knife nor a fork can be ignored when having a delicious meal.

xwloveUID: 2481588

写的过程中才知道自己好多简单单词都拼写错误，深刻检讨！！！
看了一下，好幼稚啊，还有语法错误，汗ing。
今夜无眠……

terraliUID: 2599465

One might say that the video camera plays a more considerable part than written words in providing a record of contemporary life. But we probably will not agree with a through reflection. The relationship of the two can be likened to a knife and fork, that is, a combination of video camera and written words is more preferred when one tradeoffs in how to provide a wonderful record of contemporary life.我也倾向这么开头

Undoubtedly, the video camera, a technology of vital significance which leads to a revolution of recording, presents a more convincing profile of events, in contrast with tedious and prolonged written words. 这句话我觉得不顺.which后面连跟了两个句子,是不是分开成两个单句好一些? in contrast with 比较中隔了一个从句还隔了形容词,让人看到后面不知道在比较哪两个东西了. For instance, if a lawyer determines to learn something about a complicated case, 我个人觉得有点罗嗦,直接how to deal with complicated case? obviously, he will prefer to watch a video camera first. In addition, with the help of video camera, we can comprehend the documents more effectively, 加个and? simply because the video camera gives an accurate and vivid record of events.

主题句说,视频比纸笔好,举例说,比如一律师就想通过视频学习.这个,举例不能很好的论证主题句啊.有一点点偏.不是例子不好,论述的时候是不是应该继续说视频比纸笔好的地方?比如说由于视频更好所以律师都通过更生动形象的视频学习这样扣一下主题?不过我个人最喜欢这种主题句+论述+举例+总结的段落...

Nevertheless, the video camera is no one-size-suit-all,我写完作文后,要是有自己拿不太准该不该这么用的词,就放到GOOGLE里去搜.这个词仅搜出19个结果,而且几乎都是卖东西的网站,所以我推测似乎不太合适用在ISSUE里. say， when it concerns with privacy in a suitcase，这里我没有看懂.为什么privacy 要在suitcase里?even if the video camera provides a convincing proof, it is thought to be illegal when it violates privacy. Also, video camera can't record anything at anytime due to some technology problems. Meanwhile a record video camera in itself brings inconvenience because it can not be read without a video player or a computer. 这里,建议精简.前面说由于技术问题所以video不能用,后面说比如缺少仪器,可以用一个复合句浓缩一下.In addition, overstating the accuracy of a video record may conceal truth, since what we see is not likely the truth and we can be cheated by our own eyes sometimes without a thorough reasoning.

Written words, as a traditional form of recording, boast a lot of advantages compared with the video camera. For instance, it can be easily edited, compiled or searched in a library. Although written words can not provide a vivid picture like the video camera, they leave a space of imagination and deduction, which seems more precise这个属性就和imagination and deduction相反了,而且题目已经说出video more accurate and strict. No wonder that Written words are still popular around a majority of conservative people.  

Consequently, both video camera and written words play a vital role to help with an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, neither a knife nor a fork can be ignored when having a delicious meal.

第一段说两个都重要
后面说视频好,然后视频不好,然后纸笔好,这个思路挺好的,可是在文章中缺乏浑然一体的感觉,好像就是把视频的缺点写一段,优点写一段,再把纸笔优点写一段.互相之间没什么联系.缺少内在的逻辑性.不是整个文章在说服人,却好像每段都在说服人,各有观点的感觉.但文章写得成形啦,有那个道道,慢慢雕琢~慢慢挖深～


格式问题,每段空一行,开头不空格.

xwloveUID: 2481588

5# terrali
谢谢，感动ing

whtkdUID: 2435066

to some extent,I agree with the speaker's general assertion that video camera is featuring with accuracy and convincing in this respect that cant be replaced by alternative way .however ,the author unecessarily extends this broad assertion to an irreversible extreme while ignoring compelling factor how is comparative significace of other way of documentaion.
   for the purpose of the video camera have its own advantage on spatial,and sound performance that the alertnative record can not achieve in contemporary life,with the convinence of video camera offered ,human being have one more channel to collect and resever the information by mean of various way ,specially,from the easy approach is using the video camera.one the lagimacy respect,video sureillance camera are objectie witnesses with perfect memory,thus,they can play a vital evidentiary role in legal proceeding,such as those invole rubery.drug trafficking.and so forth .indeed whenever moving images are cental to an event, the video is superior to the written record.
   however,they does not mean it is  not limited for video camera in some area.even more objective record ,on some circumstancn,is fail to operate.as is to the written documentation upon which in some field solely depend .it is especsialy true when it come to the legal documentary ,in turn ,video camera is of little use to record the procedure.such as the complax contractual agreement,incorporation.or the establishment of trust.as for the personal level,written record is also needed to help personal subjective state of mind,and impression rebuilding the memory have happened before.video camera is not of practical value to recall the abracting thoery.written record ,however , do complement with each other for improving the more detail informantion.moreover,a video record is of limited use in documenting statistical or other quantitative information,to the extent that personal .interpreatation adds dimension and richness to the record.written is actually more improtant than video.
  futhermore,liminted by the time and space.video camera wasnt more important than written,first ,to record video is uncommon for enduring in one week or more.it is 'impossible mission'for video camera to take down historical event that goes on for many weeks or even longer,written record ,on the contrary,can compensate for this detriment by putting a whole historical event together.

  finally ,as far as accuracy and objectivity are concerned,video records may not be as accurate and convincing as people think.It is true that a video
  in sum.video camera provides an accurate and convincing record of existing life and phenomena,it canot competently provide insight of and depth into the working of the mind.by contrast,written record with systematic and in-depth information help our to understand the true value of human being.it is absert to deduce that video reocrdings is a more important tools of documation in contemporary life than a written record.in fact ,ther two media can build upon one and another,resulting in a multimedia testimony to modern life.

terraliUID: 2599465

:) 楼上的发错地方了