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本帖最后由 FaustQQ 于 2009-5-28 15:02 编辑
I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that practical viewpointcan more(什么的比较级,well?还是many或 much?well的比较级是better,就算用better,好像也不能这么用吧) guarantee thesuccess and survival compared to the idealistic point of view., hHowever,when the author argues that the practical idea andpragmatic behavior is the only way to achieve success and survive, my point isabsolutely different from it. In most aspects, the practical ideas and methodsplay a great important part, while in other hand, the idealistic thought will besignificant in the process of some events or theory. It willis(现在时就好了吧) be dependent of on? (我没查出来可以用of)the scrutinizing some (多加了the,还是有这个用法?)things (为什么不进接用something,而要用some things?)in detail, and taking the distinct measures caseby case.
No one can deny the significant historical role andcurrent role of practical idea and pragmatic behavior during theprocess of development of human and society(the process of human and society development). The scope of it is involved in manyfields such as academic and (多个并列词,要么每个中间加and,要么最后一个之前加,你是把academic and social area算一个短语吗,要是你这样算,我不清楚是否合适)social area, business arena, political fields and manyothers. When covering the academic area, we know that science and technologybring more and more effect to our daily life especially from the industry (industrial)revolution till now.(from…till now,好像没这个用法,用since可以吗) It has been influencing our lifestyle, behavior way as well as great impact(这个宾语的动作应用had,前的没有,has不是实意动词) on our mind.As the scientists has plunged in(into) theirfavor field and investigated and generalized the principle and main idea of hisfield, then put it into practical use, our life hasbeenchanging (要么动词用被动态,要么你是把changing当形容词吗)better and better, which we can feel.(we canfeel our life has been becoming better and better. 结构可能没你那么复杂,不过是不是更不容易范错) Besides, in related to business inwhich the competition is rather cruel and fairly fierce, some idealistic andimaginative ideas are put into it, without thought, you would be impecuniousand dropped out the business arena. .(god,又是一个极复杂的句子,我说不清楚到底什么出了问题,但觉得可能有点句法问题)In the business area, people always put first thepractical idea and benefit and?then consider other things or not(don’t consider,可以这么用吗, ).(该用.号了吧,一个句子完了) aAllthe things in their mind is are thatwhether the idea or viewpoint can be altered into (这个短语是“更改为”的意思,你的意思是转化吧convert into?)practical product and bring more benefit (bringbenefit to,这个固定短语,少了to)ornot. The development and further step of the society almost depends on thereal(你想说真正的实践?) practice and pragmatic behavior.
In some circumstances, especially for the furiouscompetitive area, if you choose to (用choose就好啦,choose to do, )ideal concept or behavior, which is equal to be washedout from the area you staying. .(这个复杂句我看出问题了,没有主句,只有从句了,把which改为this)Only to studythe useful and practical method, can you survive in the fast developed and cruelcruellycompetitive society.
Admittedly, the practical idea and viewpoint playparamount function during the development of human society. However, undulyemphasizing on the part that the practical viewpoint (这个从句没谓语) and contemptuously neglecting theimportant role that the idealistic viewpoint taking in the processof our society's development (同上)would result in some consequences that is out of
our imagination and scope. Firstly, when theidealistic idea and thought exist in the current world whether in nature or insociety, (时间状语从句里套让步从句,这个太sophisticated了,觉得有问题,我说不上来)human would be replete with hope forthe future regardless of the whole world or his destination. (It is nearly adaptable to every field that we canimagine. Such as the academic field covered above, to which the ideal thoughtsometimes plays predominant effect during the development and progress of it. .)(上面一段话,要么such包括在第一句中,否则Such这句没有主句)As most of us is familiarwith the subject such as the physics and other theory in which a lot ofhypothesis and guess play a great part when the theory or investigation proceedto some extent that can never go further.(I am confused,还是一句话,只有从句没主句,别的问题,我说不上来) The next step is to testify thepresumption again and again thenso that we canget the final conclusion, thus the human and society can gain further step. (这个复杂句啊,读起来不对头)Next, in political field, the idealor idealistic viewpoint can't be absent from the politic system. In somespecial period and certain society, the exciting and encouraged encouraginggoal can empower most of people to endeavor for it, such as thecommunism where every people can be equal in freedom, right, wealth, reputationcan collect most of people to try their best to achieve it.(句法有问题)
In a final analysis, the idealistic viewpoint plays thesame role as the practical idea and pragmatic behavior in the progress ofsociety and growth of human. Overemphasizing or neglecting any one of themcould lead to delay of progress for society, even (甚至最坏的结果是,这个意思说不通)the worst result is to obstruct andlug the step of the society, which we are reluctant to view. Therefore, a goodperformance and better condition of a society should strike the balance betweenthe practical idea, pragmatic and idealistic viewpoint.
我只是随便改改,定有不当之处和说话粗鲁直接之处,请见恕。
你写的好多,长句很多,有点太复杂,可以先小写,到以后再大写。安全第一,正确第一,呵呵
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