0910G[try best]第二组 第一次作业argument238 by tianshi02

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Based on the incomplete comparison between thelast year’s job searching results of graduates from two colleges, the arguerdraws a conclusion that Mira Vista College should offer more business andcomputer-related courses, in addition to hiring more job counselors to helpstudents with resumes and interviewing strategies. However, this argument isproblematic in several aspects.

The most unconvincing point of thisargument is that no evidence is provided on how the business courses and jobcounselors give students in Green Mountain College advantages in the jobmarket. First, we don’t know yet to what extent students in GMC are utilizingthose “helps”. Perhaps, the students are not interested in the business coursesor job counseling information. Even if the business courses and job counseling arepopular among students, we want to know what direct effects are created bythem. It might be the case that the students who are frequently using those “help”are not better off in the job market than those who are not.

Second, it is presumptuous to draw theconclusion by merely an incomplete and unparallel comparison. There are manyfactors influencing the graduates’ employment; the locations, the admission requirements,the major areas, just to name a few. Some of the factors might be morepertinent than the business courses and job counseling services. Even for theexisting information, the arguer didn’t do a good job presenting a soundcomparison. We are also interested in the percentage of graduates in GMC thathave found their jobs in their major area, and within how long after graduatingthey found them. The employment result of MVC might not be worse, given such anextreme case that none of graduates in GMC found their jobs in their major fieldof study and all of them found their jobs exactly after a year of graduation.

To strengthen the argument, the arguerneeds provide more information on the popularity of business courses and towhat degree the job counselors are used. Moreover, a research report is neededto reveal how those courses and counseling information help students with theiremployment. Besides, unsupported suggestions such as offering more computertechnology courses need bolstering. Furthermore, the arguer is supposed to givea strictly parallel comparison encompassing as many relevant factors aspossible between the two colleges to make the argument flawless.