0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by superelle

superelleUID: 2531276

In this argument, the arguer concludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers to increase sales of magazine. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that the poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. In addition, the arguer reasons that competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the arguer tells us that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, what lead to poor-selling? International cover is not the only way that affects the sales.
According to a recent survey, which magazine customers choose is determined by factors like its content, name , public praise , cover and so on, when it comes to just cover, the statistics on sales of magazines affected by its cover would be more interesting if covers were groups into those with different fonts, different pictures, different prices and different international news. These statistics could provide arguer with a clearer understanding of whether international news results to bad sales. Also, that more and more e-magazine read though mobile phone or laptop could be download conveniently may reduce the sales of paper magazines.

Second, the argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the different
environments between competing magazines and Newsbeat. For example, in the area Newsbeat lies, if more people work in offices may pay attention to international news, magazine whose cover offers plenty of international news would make a good performance in sales. If residents there are less interested in situations abroad, magazine will be poor-selling.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that after decreasing the number of news in magazine’s cover, the sales of that will be improved and Newsbeat will make profit definitely. Even less international news is displayed on magazine covers, the cost of foreign bureaus could not be cut down because money is used in many aspects apart from printing news on covers.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between decreasing the number of international news in cover and increasing the magazine sales. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence that the magazine’s poor-selling is just as the result of the international news on cover. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the relationship between international news and the stories on magazine cover.

大洋彼岸之风UID: 2644427

A173 superelle.doc (28 KB, 下载次数: 11)

2009-5-31 09:43:51 上传

下载次数: 11

OK了

superelleUID: 2531276

2# 大洋彼岸之风
恩，谢谢大洋同学，我会结合你的建议再调整自己的文章的！谢谢喽！

ecosoft2009UID: 2608344

你的文章见附件：）
ps： 改的太晚了，非常抱歉。

saisai@cdUID: 2646629

In this argument, the arguer concludes that Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers to increase sales of magazine. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that the poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. In addition, the arguer reasons that competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the arguer tells us that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This argument suffers from several critical fallacies.（模板化太强，我承认我和楼主用的是一个模板，）


First of all, what lead to poor-selling? International cover is not the only way that affects the sales.
According to a recent survey, which magazine customers choose is determined by factors like its content, name , public praise , cover and so on, when it comes to just cover, the statistics on sales of magazines affected by its cover would be more interesting if covers were groups into those with different fonts, different pictures, different prices and different international news.（这句我觉得应该修改下结构） These statistics could provide arguer with a clearer understanding of whether international news results to bad sales. Also, （the evidence加上会不会好些） that more and more e-magazine read though mobile phone or laptop could be download 加上online) conveniently may reduce the sales of paper magazines.

Second, the argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the different
environments between competing magazines and Newsbeat. For example, in the area Newsbeat lies, if more people work in offices (may应该去掉) pay attention to international news, magazine whose cover offers plenty of international news would make a good performance in sales. If residents there are less interested in situations abroad, magazine will be poor-selling.

Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that after decreasing the number of news（什么样的news） in magazine’s cover, the sales of that will be improved and （改成or）Newsbeat will make profit definitely. Even less international news is displayed on magazine covers, the cost of foreign bureaus could not be cut down because money is used in many aspects apart from printing news on covers.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between decreasing the number of international news in cover and increasing the magazine sales. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence that the magazine’s poor-selling is just as the result of the international news on cover. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the relationship between international news and the stories on magazine cover.（结尾段模板化也很强）

因为我也是新手，对句法和其他论据等方面还不能提出可行性建议~一起加油