0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by pojun.cn

pojun.cnUID: 2646072

0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by pojun.cn


We should say “no” to “judging by cover”, because it is just a conclusion from the phenomenon of poor selling, but not from the analysis of the relationship between sales and the details of magazines. Let’s do it.
First of all, the decreasing of the sales with the displaying international news story on magazine covers is just a coincidence; there is no cause-effect relationship between them. Here we provide a possible reason that has made the sales slip: maybe just the articles can not draw the reader’s attention, but the stories has no flaw; maybe the authors’ written communication skills are not delicate enough, when they are trying to make a description of international affairs. So we can see, just one convictive imaginary reason can pardon the “international news stories on their front covers”.
Some weak points which exists in most of the reports of international affairs is given following. Almost all the international news discusses politics, but international politics has extraordinary complexity. Writing such stories is author’s method to earn their living, while not all of them have amazing insight to international politics. Such situation leads to a disappointed result : losing of international stories’ readability. Superficial understanding and analyzing of the problems, insipid expression and repeated viewpoints always make immediate aversion while people set eyes on this type of news. More over, magazine’s standpoints should be the same with government in most cases; the same voice is delivered over and over again everywhere, including TV, radio, and internet and so on, even though it is not always the truth. Therefore it is not surprised that readers are not interested with these “international news stories”.
The increasing operating cost of reporting international news is a normal phenomenon. With the social development, international activities are becoming more and more frequently and important. While we’re doing more work to transmit information of our global village, an increasing spending is necessary. But keeping eyes on international event is almost our obligation now: terrorism threaten the peace; starvation in southern Africa is a plaintive shadow under the blooming; “changes” in Barack Obama Presidential Victory Speech. Maybe we can only contribute little, but we should not close our eyes in any case. The decision of “decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers” is absolutely wrong.

bean8885UID: 2633371

1# pojun.cn
0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by pojun.cn[url=]We[/url][bean1] should say “no” to “judging by cover”, because it is just a conclusion from the phenomenon of poor selling, but not from the analysis of the relationship between sales and the details of magazines. Let’s do it.
First of all, the [url=]decreasing of the sales with the displaying international news story on magazine covers[/url][bean2] is just a coincidence; there is no cause-effect relationship between them. Here we provide a possible reason that has made the sales slip: maybe just the articles can not draw the reader’s attention, but the stories has no flaw; maybe the authors’ written communication skills are not delicate enough, when they are trying to make a description of international affairs. So we can see,[url=] just one convictive imaginary reason can pardon the “international news stories on their front covers”.[/url][bean3]
Some weak points which exists in most of the reports of international affairs is given following. Almost all the international news discusses politics, but international politics has extraordinary complexity. Writing such stories is author’s method to earn their living, while not all of them have amazing insight to international politics. Such situation leads to a disappointed result[url=] : losing of international stories’ readability. [/url][bean4] [url=]Superficial understanding and analyzing of the problems, insipid expression and repeated viewpoints always make immediate aversion while people set eyes on this type of news. [/url][bean5] More over, magazine’s standpoints should be the same with government in most cases; the same voice is delivered over and over again everywhere, including TV, radio, and internet and so on, even though it is not always the truth. Therefore it is not surprised that readers are not interested with（in） these “international news stories”.
[url=]The increasing operating cost of reporting international news is a normal phenomenon. With the social development, international activities are becoming more and more frequently and important. While we’re doing more work to [/url]transmit information of our global village, an increasing spending is necessary. But keeping eyes on international event is almost our obligation now: terrorism threaten the peace; starvation in southern Africa is a plaintive shadow under the blooming; “changes” in Barack Obama Presidential Victory Speech. Maybe we can only contribute little, but we should not close our eyes in any case. The decision of “decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers” is absolutely wrong.[bean6]

[bean1]Aruge中最好不要出现We做主语的句子，同时提醒如I think这样的表达也最好不要用



[bean2]主语表达有问题，我认为应为decreasing sales volume of the magazine with foreign news stories on its cover， 同时此句你表达了一种肯定的态度，应该加上MAY之类的表示怀疑的态度的词



[bean3]这句话看不太懂，尤其是最后用了引号，最好不要用这样的抽象的表达方式



[bean4]这种冒号后面的总结性语言我认为应该独成一句话



[bean5]这段话表达的非常好，但是感觉和上面一段的内容是同一个范畴内的



[bean6]写得太细了，这样的写法用在ISSUE上肯定是好的，还有你的总结段呢？找不到……
标准的Argue开头和结尾要独成一段

pojun.cnUID: 2646072

谢谢你^_^

2# bean8885

bean8885UID: 2633371

不客气，大家一起进步！你给我改的很细呢，嘿嘿