argument17 =So What=小组第2次作业 by 2006201652

2006201652UID: 2496703

argument173：The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a
newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those
that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the
same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the
number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover,
the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international
news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on
international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our
magazine covers."

过去三年中我们销量最低的几期杂志是在封面上刊登了国际新闻故事的那几期。在同一时期，与我们竞争的几种新闻刊物显著减少了刊登在封面上的国际新闻数量。而且，我们用于维持国外部报导国际新闻的费用正在增加。因此，我们应该减少对于国际新闻的强调并且避免把这类消息刊登在杂志封面上。

提纲：
1。作者假定读者不喜欢看国际新闻，不充分。有可能自己的原因，报道不好，没有抓住读者心理。cover设计，内容。应该调查读者喜欢读什么
2.作者认为没有发展的余地。对手退出，没有说明什么原因，是不是力不从心，正利于本杂志，减少竞争。
3.驻外费用增加，再考虑以上问题后，如果可以承受，试一试看销量问题是否可以解决。

2006201652UID: 2496703

In this memo, the speaker asserts that their magazine should decrease attention to international news and refrain representing this sort of stories on magazine covers. To support his position, he listed that the poorest-selling magazine issues over the last three years were those displayed international news stories on their covers, their competing magazines greatly decreased the number of cover stories about international news, and, the cost of persist theri foreign bureaus in increasing. However, as far as I am concerned, this conclusion is unjustifiable and unwarranted for the following parts.

In the first place, the author assumes that the readers are not interest in international news depends on the fact that the magazines displayed international news stories on their covers are the poorest-selling magazine issues. Yet, the claimer fails to search further for the reasons to support his assumption and there may be other factors to contribute the decreasing market of their magazines. And, it is of great possibility that the cover design of theirs is beyond the reader's interest, the content of their stories are in poor quality and convey no substantial information. Without providing these possibilities, the author's conclusion is unfounded.

In the second place, the claimer falsely assumes that we should refrain our magazines because our competitors did not put much emphasis on the international news they used to be. But, the speaker did not supply any evidence to illustrate that the reason for the decreasing readers. Common sense indicates that fewer competitors are conducive to the self-development. Thus, it is possible that our magazines will be sold better in the following years.

Finally, the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus is also a reason to the speaker's assertion that less emphasis should be paid on international news. Before solving the problems and questions above, this reason is unjustifiable as well. If they can stand to this burden and have made sure the reasons that cause the decreasing readers of their magazines, then, these bureaus are worth to be maintained as they can provide most immediate international news.

To sum up, the author's conclusion to refrain and limit the international news is questionable before he supply sufficient evidence such as some problems of their own and the potential opportunities for their magazines' increasing popularity.

(5/31/2009 6:53:11 PM)

写的不好，语言句式都不怎么样，写了50分钟。不知道为什么打开文档以后就没有显示时间...:D

gabywUID: 2633725

In this memo, the speaker asserts that their magazine should decrease attention to international news and refrain representing this sort of stories on magazine covers. To support his position, he listed that the poorest-selling magazine issues over the last three years were those displayed international news stories on their covers, their competing magazines greatly decreased the number of cover stories about international news, and, the cost of persist theri foreign bureaus in increasing. However, as far as I am concerned, this conclusion is unjustifiable and unwarranted for the following parts.

In the first place, the author assumes that the readers are not interested in international news(题目中没有说读者不感兴趣，只说销量低，) depends on the fact that the magazines displayed international news stories on their covers are the poorest-selling magazine issues. Yet, the claimer fails to search further for the reasons to support his assumption and there may be other factors to contribute the decreasing market of their magazines. （你也说了销量低有可能是其他原因，所以不能自已假定没有的东西，自己又反对！）And, it is of great possibility that the cover design of theirs（Delete） is beyond the reader's interest, the content of their stories （D）are（is） in poor quality and conveys no substantial information. Without providing these possibilities, the author's conclusion is unfounded.

In the second place, the claimer falsely assumes that we should refrain our magazines because our competitors（前面说他们，现在又说我们？） did not put much emphasis on the international news as they used to be. But（however）, the speaker did not supply any evidence to illustrate that the reason for the decreasing readers. Common sense indicates that fewer competitors are conducive to the self-development. Thus, it is possible that our magazines will be sold better in the following years.

Finally, the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus is also a reason to the speaker's assertion that less emphasis should be paid on international news. Before solving the problems and questions above, this reason is unjustifiable as well. If they can stand to this burden and have made sure the reasons that cause the decreasing readers of their magazines, then, these bureaus are worth to be maintained as they can provide most immediate international news.

To sum up, the author's conclusion to refrain and limit the international news is questionable before he supplies sufficient evidence such as some problems of their own and the potential opportunities for their magazines' increasing popularity.

提纲：
1.
销量最低的那几期并非因为封面刊登了国际新闻，此外，通过竞争对手没有刊登来判断我们期刊减少的数量是不科学的。销量低，因为1. 封面设计不好2国际事务报道真实性的程度. 3负责封面的编辑出了问题4.对国际报道不占优势
2.
外部费用增加，增加了多少，增加的成本与最低销量的利润相比的结果，才能决定外部费用这个因素是否到了影响我们要降低国际新闻的强调程度。

mqi07UID: 2521740

In this memo, the speaker asserts that their magazine should decrease attention to international news and refrain representing this sort of stories on magazine covers. To support his position, he listed that the poorest-selling magazine issues over the last three years were those displayed international news stories on their covers, their competing magazines greatly decreased the number of cover stories about international news, and, the cost of persist theri foreign bureaus in increasing. However, as far as I am concerned, this conclusion is unjustifiable and unwarranted for the following parts.

In the first place, the author assumes that the readers are not interest in international news depends on the fact that the magazines displayed international news stories on their covers are the poorest-selling magazine issues. Yet, the claimer fails to search further for the reasons to support his assumption and there may be other factors to contribute（可以这样用吗???） the decreasing market of their magazines. And, it is of great possibility that the cover design of theirs is beyond the reader's interest, the content of their stories are in poor quality and convey no substantial information. Without providing these possibilities, the author's conclusion is unfounded.

In the second place, the claimer falsely assumes that we should refrain our magazines because our competitors did not put much emphasis on the international news they used to be(很好很简练的表达). But, the speaker did not supply any evidence to illustrate that the reason for the decreasing readers. Common sense indicates that fewer competitors are conducive to the self-development. Thus, it is possible that our magazines will be sold better in the following years.

Finally, the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus is also a reason to the speaker's assertion that less emphasis should be paid on international news. Before solving the problems and questions above, this reason is unjustifiable as well. If they can stand to this burden and have made sure the reasons that cause the decreasing readers of their magazines, then, these bureaus are worth to be maintained as they can provide most immediate international news.

To sum up, the author's conclusion to refrain and limit the international news is questionable before he supply sufficient evidence such as some problems of their own and the potential opportunities for their magazines' increasing popularity.

(5/31/2009 6:53:11 PM)

写的不好，语言句式都不怎么样，写了50分钟。不知道为什么打开文档以后就没有显示时间...:D



这也叫写的不好???:funk:  童鞋你太谦虚了
起码现在在我看来, 你是逻辑严谨,结构合理,语言流畅哇
你真的也是刚开始准备AW吗?太强悍鸟...

robotwishUID: 2550184

In this memo, the speaker asserts that their magazine should decrease attention to international news and refrain representing this sort of stories on magazine covers. To support his position, he listed that the poorest-selling magazine issues over the last three years were those displayed international news stories on their covers, their competing magazines greatly decreased the number of cover stories about international news, and, the cost of persist their foreign bureaus in increasing. However, as far as I am concerned, this conclusion is unjustifiable and unwarranted for the following parts.(这个我也是该自我批评一下，都用的这个模板，我觉得我们一组三个人都有2个人一样，说明这个概率太大了，估计阅卷的都看烦了)

In the first place, the author assumes that the readers are not interested in international news depends on the fact that the magazines displayed international news stories on their covers are the poorest-selling magazine issues. Yet, the claimer fails to search further for the reasons to support his assumption and there may be other factors to contribute the decreasing market of their magazines. And, it is of great possibility that the cover design of theirs is beyond the reader's interest, the content of their stories are in poor quality and convey no substantial information. Without providing these possibilities, the author's conclusion is unfounded.（论据与假设之间的不合理性，，然而过于模板化，论证不够充分）

In the second place, the claimer falsely assumes that we should refrain our magazines because our competitors did not put much emphasis on the international news they used to be. But, the speaker did not supply any evidence to illustrate that the reason for the decreasing readers. Common sense indicates that fewer competitors are conducive to the self-development. Thus, it is possible that our magazines will be sold better in the following years.

Finally, the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus is also a reason to the speaker's assertion that less emphasis should be paid on international news. Before solving the problems and questions above（模板的弊端显现）, this reason is unjustifiable as well. If they can stand to this burden and have made sure the reasons that cause the decreasing readers of their magazines, then, these bureaus are worth to be maintained as they can provide most immediate international news.

To sum up, the author's conclusion to refrain and limit the international news is questionable before he supply sufficient evidence such as some problems of their own and the potential opportunities for their magazines' increasing popularity.

总结：恕我直言了，逻辑关系的理解很到位，文章总体还是很流畅的，但是文章过于模板化，虽然对于我这样的新手来说argu缺乏学术的味道就是因为模板使用不好或不当，但是作者没有这个问题了，让我学到了些关于如何使用模板，但是作者的问题是，中间添的内容太少了，你把每个逻辑漏洞都点出来了，却缺乏有力的论证，这样来说，我觉得比较难获得高分，而且逻辑错误没有亮点或者无法让人家知道亮点，就像给了人家一个名词，不去解释，一个感觉。所以建议作者多看一下同主题写作那一系列的帖子。
还有一点，就是三段好像都是一种错误类型，就是论据不够充分，就是所谓的什么充分必要的错误吧，这里不是特意地找分类，就是觉得还是缺乏亮点
ps.个人觉得初准备argu应该把重点放在抓主逻辑链的把握以及文章批驳顺序的安排上，模板可以后期适当添加
具体参考帖子：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-416323-1-1.html