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[a习作temp] argument17 =So What=小组第2次作业 by 紫薇花开 [复制链接]

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GRE斩浪之魂 GRE梦想之帆

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发表于 2009-5-31 21:31:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
argument173:The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a
newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those
that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the
same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the
number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover,
the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international
news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on
international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our
magazine covers."

过去三年中我们销量最低的几期杂志是在封面上刊登了国际新闻故事的那几期。在同一时期,与我们竞争的几种新闻刊物显著减少了刊登在封面上的国际新闻数量。而且,我们用于维持国外部报导国际新闻的费用正在增加。因此,我们应该减少对于国际新闻的强调并且避免把这类消息刊登在杂志封面上。


提纲:
1。作者假定读者不喜欢看国际新闻,不充分。有可能自己的原因,报道不好,没有抓住读者心理。cover设计,内容。应该调查读者喜欢读什么
2.作者认为没有发展的余地。对手退出,没有说明什么原因,是不是力不从心,正利于本杂志,减少竞争。
3.驻外费用增加,再考虑以上问题后,如果可以承受,试一试看销量问题是否可以解决。
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GRE斩浪之魂 GRE梦想之帆

沙发
发表于 2009-5-31 21:32:28 |只看该作者

time 1h
The argument contais several facets that have no cinvince. First, the number of deer are definitely decreasing which the author only uses the reports from local hunters. in addition, the local climate is indeed creasing and the relation between the increasing number of deer and the the local increasing temprarure . Thirdly, the coincidental relationship of the decreasing number of deer and global warming trends. The author fails to provide sufficient evidence to explain there are no other expaination on the above facets. I will discuss them in ture.
In evaluatiing the number of deer is indeed decreasing, besides the reports from local hunters. There should are other evidence such as the density of deer on all island today per day and that of before.it is likely that as a result of hunting deer difficult, hunter concludes the report. At the same time, We all know whether hunter can hunt deers or not, there are many factors such as hunting time isn’t coincident with the activity time of deers, or locality and custome uncoincidental.
Even if the reports are acceptable, the author assumes that the local climate increase really happen. But there are no material on that. Even if the temperature indeed go up, there should have article showing that the increasing temptature, the changing climate lead the death of deers. Without that we reasonablely assume that the warming trends not only changs climate but also makes the living patterns necessarily chang. So the climate condition provided by author is the necessary factor causing deers death.
At last, the author claims that the report about the decreasing deers offered by hunter coincide with the global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. He/she have a fallacy that he/she take the condition of global warming trends repesentitive of the local condition. But we know the fallacy like this can’t be made because some area in the world maybe rapidly increase leading to the global warming trends, but the fact is that local climate have decreased or even have been stable. At the same time, the arguer concludes that deers die from the warming trends, because there is no evidence, I think it is the food lack or the ex-balance hunting is the real reason.
In conclusion, the argument, while it is illogical, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by provding more evidence the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-the decreasing deers was caused by local warming trends. It could be further by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.







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板凳
发表于 2009-6-2 16:54:33 |只看该作者
2# 紫薇花开

作者的题目跟内容不一样,那我就按照Argument45来给你改了。

The argument contais several facets that have no cinvince. First, the number of deer are definitely decreasing which the author only uses the reports from local hunters. in addition, the local climate is indeed creasing and the relation between the increasing number of deer and the the local increasing temprarure . Thirdly, the coincidental relationship of the decreasing number of deer and global warming trends. (作者说的三点的每一点的原因结果都没有逻辑关系。)The author fails to provide sufficient evidence to explain there are no other expaination on the above facets. I will discuss them in ture.
In evaluatiing the number of deer is indeed decreasing, besides the reports from local hunters. There should are other evidence such as the density of deer on all island today per day and that of before.it is likely that as a result of hunting deer difficult, hunter concludes the report. At the same time, We all know whether hunter can hunt deers or not, there are many factors such as hunting time isn’t coincident with the activity time of deers, or locality and custome uncoincidental.

Even if the reports are acceptable, the author assumes that the local climate increase really happen. But there are no material on that. Even if the temperature indeed go up, there should have article showing that the increasing temptature, the changing climate lead the death of deers. Without that we reasonablely assume that the warming trends not only changs climate but also makes the living patterns necessarily chang. So the climate condition provided by author is the necessary factor causing deers death.
At last, the author claims that the report about the decreasing deers offered by hunter coincide with the global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. He/she have a fallacy that he/she take the condition of global warming trends repesentitive of the local condition. But we know the fallacy like this can’t be made because some area in the world maybe rapidly increase leading to the global warming trends, but the fact is that local climate have decreased or even have been stable. At the same time, the arguer concludes that deers die from the warming trends, because there is no evidence, I think it is the food lack or the ex-balance hunting is the real reason.
In conclusion, the argument, while it is illogical, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by provding more evidence the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-the decreasing deers was caused by local warming trends. It could be further by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.

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地板
发表于 2009-6-2 18:41:06 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 gabyw 于 2009-6-2 18:51 编辑

提纲:
1。作者假定读者不喜欢看国际新闻,不充分。有可能自己的原因,报道不好,没有抓住读者心理。cover设计,内容。应该调查读者喜欢读什么
2.作者认为没有发展的余地。对手退出,没有说明什么原因,是不是力不从心,正利于本杂志,减少竞争。
3.驻外费用增加,再考虑以上问题后,如果可以承受,试一试看销量问题是否可以解决。



这是抄的吧,怎么和2006的一模一样啊!
我建议的提纲:
提纲:
1.销量最低的那几期并非因为封面刊登了国际新闻,此外,通过竞争对手没有刊登来判断我们期刊减少的数量是不科学的。销量低,因为1. 封面设计不好2国际事务报道真实性的程度. 3负责封面的编辑出了问题4.对国际报道不占优势

2.外部费用增加,增加了多少,增加的成本与最低销量的利润相比的结果,才能决定外部费用这个因素是否到了影响我们要降低国际新闻的强调程度



竟然题目和作文不一样啊?mm, 你这篇是急着交作业吧,拼写错误很多,主谓不一致很严重!

The argument contains several facets that have no convince. First, the number of deer are definitely decreasing which the author only uses the reports from local hunters. in addition(错误表达!), the local climate is indeed creasing and the relation between the increasing number of deer and the the local increasing temprarure . Thirdlythird, the coincidental relationship of the decreasing number of deer and global warming trends. The author fails to provide sufficient evidence to explain there are no other expaination on the above facets. I will discuss them in ture.
In evaluatiing the number of deer is indeed decreasing, besides the reports from local hunters. There should are other evidence such as the density of deer on all island today per day and that of before. it is likely that as a result of hunting deer difficult, hunter concludes the report. At the same time, We all know whether hunter can hunt deers or not, there are many factors such as hunting time isn’t coincident with the activity time of deers, or locality and custome uncoincidental.
Even if the reports are acceptable, the author assumes that the local climate increases really happen. But there are no
materials on that. Even if the temperature indeed go up, there should have article showing that the increasing temptature, the changing climate lead the death of deers. Without that we reasonablely assume that the warming trends not only changs climate but also makes the living patterns necessarily chang. So the climate condition provided by author is the necessary factor causing deers death.

At last, the author claims that the report about the decreasing deers减少decreased deeroffered by hunter coincide with the global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. He/she
(
这个是不是从哪看来的,为什2006 也是这么写的?)have a fallacy that he/she take the condition of global warming trends repesentitive of the local condition. But we know the fallacy like this can’t be made because some area in the world maybe rapidly increase leading to the global warming trends, but the fact is that local climate have decreased or even have been stable. At the same time, the arguer concludes that deers die from the warming trends, because there is no evidence, I think it is the food lack or the ex-balance hunting is the real reason.
In conclusion, the argument, while it is illogical, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by provding more evidence the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-the decreasing deers was caused by local warming trends. It could be further by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.








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发表于 2009-6-2 21:39:13 |只看该作者
The argument contais (contains) several facets that have no convince (evidence). First, the number of deer are definitely decreasing which the author only uses the reports from local hunters. In addition, the local climate is indeed creasing (crease? 起皱) and the relation between the increasing number of deer and the the (多了一个) local increasing temprarure (temperature). Thirdly, the coincidental relationship (能不能用conicidence?) of the decreasing number of deer and global warming trends (这不是一个句子,没有谓语). The author fails to provide sufficient evidence to explain there are (is) no other expaination (explanation) on the above facets. I will discuss them in ture (in true什么意思?).
In evaluating (evaluating) the number of deer is indeed decreasing, besides the reports from local hunters (这句话没有谓语). There should are other evidence such as the density of deer on all island today per day and that of before. It is likely that as a result of hunting deer difficult (as a result of the difficulty in hunting deer), hunter concludes the report. At the same time, We (we) all know whether hunter can hunt deers (deer) or not, there are many factors such as hunting time isn’t coincident with the activity time of deers (deer), or locality and custome uncoincidental (?).
Even if the reports are acceptable, the author assumes that the local climate increase really happen (happens). But there are no material (materials) on that. Even if the temperature indeed go up, there should have (be) article showing that the increasing temptature (temperature), the changing climate lead the death of deers (deer). Without that we reasonablely (it’s reasonable to assume) assume that the warming trends not only changs (changes) climate but also makes the living patterns necessarily chang (change). So the climate condition provided by author is the necessary factor causing deers (deer) death.
At last, the author claims that the report about the decreasing deers (deer) offered by hunter coincide (coincides) with the global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. He/she have (has) a fallacy that he/she take the condition of global warming trends repesentitive of the local condition. But we know the fallacy like this can’t be made because some area in the world maybe rapidly increase leading to the global warming trends
(
这句不太理解), but the fact is that local climate have decreased or even have been stable. At the same time, the arguer concludes that deers (deer) die from the warming trends, because there is no evidence, I think it is the food lack or the ex-balance hunting is the real reason.
In conclusion, the argument, while it is illogical, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by provding (providing) more evidence the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-the decreasing deers (deer) was caused by local warming trends. It could be further by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.

前面的argument的题目和你的内容不合。
请注意单词拼写,句子的结构,我们的写作能力还不能完成非常复杂的从句,太长的句子容易出现多个谓语或没有谓语的问题。一起进步吧

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GRE斩浪之魂 GRE梦想之帆

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发表于 2009-6-6 17:19:13 |只看该作者
修改过的


The argument contains several facets that have no convince. First, the number of deer are definitely decreasing which the author only uses the reports from local hunters. In addition, the local climate is indeed increasing and the relation between the increasing number of deer and the the local increasing temprarure . Third, as for the coincidental relationship of the decreasing number of deer and global warming trends,The author fails to provide sufficient evidence to explain there are no other explanation on the above facets. I will discuss them in turn.
In order to evaluate the number of deer which is indeed decreasing, besides the reports from local hunters. There should are other evidence such as the density of deer on all island today per day and that of before. it is likely that as  a result of the difficulty in hunting deer, hunter concludes the report. At the same time, we all know whether hunter can hunt deer or not, there are many factors such as hunting time isn’t coincident with the activity time of deer, or locality and custome.
Even if the reports are acceptable, the author assumes that the local climate increases really happens. But there are no materials on that. Even if the temperature indeed go up, there should have article showing that the increasing temprature, the changing climate lead the death of deer. Without that we reasonablely assume that the warming trends not only changs climate but also makes the living patterns necessarily change. So the climate condition provided by author is the necessary factor causing deer death.
At last, the author claims that the report about the decreasing deer offered by hunter coincide with the global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. He/she have a fallacy that he/she take the condition of global warming trends repesentitive of the local condition. But we know the fallacy like this can’t be made because some area in the world maybe rapidly increase in climate leading to the global warming trends, but the fact is that local climate have decreased or even have been stable. At the same time, the arguer concludes that deer die from the warming trends, because there is no evidence, I think it is the food lack or the ex-balance hunting is the real reason.
In conclusion, the argument, while it is illogical, has several flaws as discussed above. The argument could be improved by providing more evidence the correlation is indeed a causal relationship-the decreasing deer was caused by local warming trends. It could be further by ruling out alternative explanations for the supposed causal relationship.

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RE: argument17 =So What=小组第2次作业 by 紫薇花开 [修改]

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argument17 =So What=小组第2次作业 by 紫薇花开
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