issue130 =so what=小组第二次作业 by xoxlol

XOXLOLUID: 2309408

写得想死！

XOXLOLUID: 2309408

130.  "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
  
现在孩子的社会化程度决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会教孩子怎么样去建设一个更好的社会。
words: 758            time: probably forever
提纲：
1. how child socialize indeed has an impact on how he/she will turn out to as an adult.
2. but it is not the only factor determine a child's later personality.
3. we have not failed to raise children that can build a better society.

XOXLOLUID: 2309408

Almost every new born baby symbolizes the greatness of human fertility, the extension of human civilization and the hope of human future. Since when they grow up as adults and become the major force of pushing society forward and making history, what kind of generation turns out to be can definitely determine the destiny of our society. However, I can't agree with the speaker's assertion since the human growing process is a relatively long period, during which a lot of occurences can eventually determine who a person ends up to be and how he/she socializes in childhood is accounted as only one of the attributions, not even the most important one in my view. Moreover, my disagreement with the speaker also lays in the overstatement of our failing to teach children to build a better society.
Indisputably, what kind of socializing situation a child participates plays an significant role in determining and shaping his/her personality and value system. Most of the time, children's earliest socializing occasion is in the family and parents and siblings make up their first socializing group, which has a noticeable impact on the growing process of the children. For instance, when parents tell children to look after their little brother or sister or share toys or cookies, they learn to care for others and share good things; when children watch their parents always warm-heartedly lead helping hand to senior neighbors or are regularly taken to visit their grandparents, they learn to help, respect and care for old people. To the contrast, when children hear parents expressing discriminatory opinions about a religion or a racial group, they form a basic view about the religion or racial group, which may be continuously carried through their entire lives. Also, when they are in school socializing with their peers, they learn how to cooperate in a group project and how to compete in a athletic contest. Yet, when they socialize with some not the best behaved peers, plus peer pressure, they tend to challenge authority of parents and school, sometimes even social, disciplines by acting rebelliously like skipping class, smoking or taking drugs. Consequently, how children socialize help them become a member of the society with good manners and positive energy, or turn out to be the otherwise.
On the other hand, how children end up to be as adults is due to many determining factors rather than only how they socialize in their childhood. Those factors are the most common accompanies through their growing process such as academic knowledge they learn in every school class, experience they ingest from every success or failure, joy or grieve they feel from every happy hour or sad event, the words of wisdom they hear from a random radio program, or even an inspiring book or movie they read or watch by themselves. The truth is there are numerous lessons and tests lying in the journey of children's growing up, which pushes them to experience, to learn, to toughen up and to prepare themselves for the complexity of society.
At the same time, while neither our children's growing environment nor educational system is perfect, even evident flaws lie in them, we have not failed our mission in keeping raising an intellectual, independent, civilized and moral generation after another considering the rapid and steady progress in various fields they have made and are still making. To support this point, one needs to look no further than the facts that death is being defied with the remarkable advancements achieved in medical area; distance has been shortened and productivity has been enhanced with broader usage and speeding development of science and technology; outer space is being explored and hunger and environmental pollution are being eliminated with global cooperations. Additionally, equal rights and respects between men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, the able and the disable and people from different racial or religious backgrounds have gained increasing demand among all human communities. Yet, the awareness of protecting the interests of vulnerable social groups like women, children and the senior citizens has never been higher. In another words, with all the warrant evidences, the speaker's claim that we have not learned how to raise our children who can help bring about a better society is ungrounded.
To sum up, how a child socialize is just one of many components that determines how he/she will eventually turn out to be. And with all the noticeable achievements accomplished by generations, it is unfair to say our society is not steadily evolving into a more developed and civilized one.

gabywUID: 2633725

Almost every new born baby symbolizes the greatness of human fertility, the extension of human civilization and the hope of human future.(太中式了) Since when they grow up as adults and become the major force of pushing society forward and making history, what kind of generation turns out to be can definitely determine the destiny of our society. However, I can't agree with the speaker's assertion（不要用着个词，不好，argument里用下可以，你可以说 the idea that…..） since the human growing process is a relatively long period, during which a lot of occurrences can eventually determine who a person ends up to be and how he/she socializes in childhood is accounted as only one of the attributions, not even the most important one in my view.(不懂，不知道是你自己写的呢，还是借鉴的？) Moreover, my disagreement with the speaker also lays in the overstatement of our failing to teach children to build a better society.


Indisputably, what kind of socializing situation a child participates plays a significant role in determining and shaping his/her personality and value system. Most of the time, children's earliest socializing occasion is in the family and parents（重复） and siblings make up their first socializing group, which has a noticeable impact on the growing process of the children. For instance, when parents tell children to look after their little brother or sister or share toys or cookies（or太多了吧）, they learn to care for others and share good things with them; when children watch their parents always warm-heartedly lead helping hand to senior(delete,不用这么复杂的，太罗嗦了) neighbors or are regularly taken to visit their grandparents, they learn to help, respect and care for old people. To the contrast, when children hear parents expressing discriminatory opinions about a religion or a racial group, they form a basic view about the religion or racial group, which may be continuously carried through their entire lives. Also, when they are in school socializing with their peers, they learn how to cooperate in a group project and how to compete in an athletic contest. Yet, when they socialize with some not the best behaved peers, plus peer pressure, they tend to challenge authority of parents and school, sometimes even social, disciplines by acting rebelliously like skipping class, smoking or taking drugs. Consequently, how children socialize help them become a member of the society with good manners and positive energy, or turn out to be the otherwise.


On the other hand, how children end up being as adults is due to many determining factors rather than only how they socialize in their childhood. Those factors are the most common accompanies through their growing process such as academic knowledge they learned in every school class(in school 就可以了，至于写成every school class 吗？), experience they ingested （过去分词做定语） from every success or failure, joy or grieve they feel from every happy hour or sad event, the words of wisdom they hear from a random radio program, or even an inspiring book or movie they read or watch by themselves. （如此冗长的句子啊！！）The truth is there are numerous lessons and tests lying in the journey of children's growing up, which pushes them to experience, to learn, to toughen up and to prepare themselves for the complexity of society（社会的复杂性）.


At the same time, while neither our children's growing environment nor educational system is perfect, （用的不好）even evident flaws lie in them, we have not failed our mission in keeping raising an intellectual, independent, civilized and moral generation after another considering the rapid and steady progress in various fields they have made and are still making. To support this point, one needs to look no further than the facts that death is being defied with the remarkable advancements achieved in medical area; distance has been shortened and productivity has been enhanced with broader usage and speeding development of science and technology; outer space is being explored and hunger and environmental pollution are being eliminated with global cooperation. Additionally, equal rights and respects between men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, the able and the disable and people from different racial or religious backgrounds have gained increasing demand among all human communities. Yet, the awareness of protecting the interests of vulnerable social groups like women, children and the senior citizens has never been higher. In another words, with all the warrant evidences, the speaker's claim that we have not learned how to raise our children who can help bring about a better society is ungrounded.


To sum up, how a child socializes is just one of many components that determines how he/she will eventually turn out to be. And with all the noticeable achievements accomplished by generations, it is unfair to say our society is not steadily evolving (does not steadily evolve) into a more developed and civilized one.

1.
when 引导的状语从句太多了，
2.
or，用的太多了，如果表达并列关系，逗号和and就可以了，or偶尔使用下就可以了， 口语中可以多点的。
3.
通篇给我的感觉就是在读中文
4.
句子太长了，切记，不要写自己驾驭不了的长难句，否则适得其反，如果本身就不能够很好的掌握英语表达，又写出如此长的中文句子，你觉的外国人能看懂吗？

灿烂千阳灿烂UID: 2538650

Almost every new born baby symbolizes the greatness of human fertility, the extension of human civilization and the hope of human future. Since when they grow up as adults and become the major force of pushing society forward and making history, what kind of generation turns out to be can definitely determine the destiny of our society. However, I can't agree with the speaker's assertion since the human growing process is a relatively long period, during which a lot of occurences can eventually determine who a person ends up to be and how he/she socializes in childhood is accounted as only one of the attributions, not even the most important one in my view. Moreover, my disagreement with the speaker also lays in the overstatement of our failing to teach children to build a better society.
Indisputably, what kind of socializing situation a child participates plays an(a) significant role in determining and shaping his/her personality and value system. Most of the time, children's earliest socializing occasion is in the family and改为where,变成一个定语从句，逻辑关系更清楚些。 parents and siblings make up their first socializing group, which has a noticeable impact on the growing process of the children. For instance, when parents tell children to look after their little brother or（and） sister or share toys or (and),老用or的话，reader容易confusedcookies, they learn to care for others and share good things; when children watch their parents always warm-heartedly这个放到senior neighbors后面比较好 lead helping hand to senior neighbors or are regularly taken to visit their grandparents, they learn to help, respect and care for old people. To the contrast, when children hear parents expressing discriminatory opinions about a religion or a racial group, they form a basic view about the religion or racial group, which may be continuously carried through their entire lives. Also, when they are in school socializing with their peers, they learn how to cooperate in a group project and how to compete in a athletic contest. Yet, when they socialize with some not the best 是差生的意思吗？behaved peers, plus peer pressure,迫于同辈的压力？ they tend to challenge authority of parents and school, sometimes even social, disciplines by acting rebelliously like skipping class, smoking or taking drugs. Consequently, how children socialize help them become a member of the society with good manners and positive energy, or turn out to be the otherwise.
On the other hand, how children end up to be as adults is due to many determining factors rather than only how they socialize in their childhood. Those factors are the most common accompanies through their growing process用Period是否更好？ such as academic knowledge they learn in every school class, experience they ingest from every success or failure, joy or grieve they feel from every happy hour or sad event, the words of wisdom they hear from a random radio program, or even an inspiring book or movie they read or watch by themselves. The truth is there are numerous lessons and tests lying in the journey of children's growing up, which pushes them to experience, to learn, to toughen up and to prepare themselves for the complexity of society.
At the same time, while neither our children's growing environment nor educational system is perfect, even evident flaws lie in them, we have not failed our mission in keeping raising an intellectual, independent, civilized and moral generation after another considering the 费解，是再一次考虑到。。。的意思吗？rapid and steady progress in various fields they have made and are still making. To support this point, one needs to look no further than the facts that death is being defied with the remarkable advancements achieved in medical area; distance has been shortened and productivity has been enhanced with broader usage and speeding development of science and technology; outer space is being explored and hunger and environmental pollution are being eliminated with global cooperations. Additionally, equal rights and respects between men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, the able and the disable and people from different racial or religious backgrounds have gained increasing demand among all human communities. Yet为什么要用个表转折的词？？, the awareness of protecting the interests of vulnerable social groups like women, children and the senior citizens has never been higher. In another（other） words, with all the warrant evidences, the speaker's claim that we have not learned how to raise our children who can help bring about a better society is ungrounded.
To sum up, how a child socialize is just one of many components that determines how he/she will eventually turn out to be. And with all the noticeable achievements accomplished by generations, it is unfair to say our society is not steadily evolving into a more developed and civilized one.

楼主的基本行文思路跟我是一致的，先说社会化的重要性，再说它不那么决定性，然后说我们做的不错。但是核心词socialization觉得找到的突破点有点不对，或者说挖掘不够深入。可能我自己的也是一样，所以这道题才成为传说中的难题。到时候希望能有个brainstorm就好了。

至于语言，and用的太多，导致读者找逻辑关系有些费劲。其实很多可以用别的从句代替，或者干脆拆分成几句话，用逻辑词连起来就好了。确实有的地方有些赘述，拖沓。

但不可否认的是楼主的基础还是很不错的，楼上讲的只是为了把你的问题说清楚，话重别往心里去。其实你已经算是整个基础和水平都很不错的了。不要一时气馁。。。

不要放弃啊，别推迟考试！有人说得好，GRE考试是个无底洞，永远有上升的空间，对于我们而言，只要在一定的时间，尽自己的努力，考到一个够用的分数就可以了。

一起加油！:victory:

ZhouPYFUID: 2633778

Almost every new born baby symbolizes the greatness of human fertility, the extension of human civilization and the hope of human future. Since when they grow up as adults and become the major force of pushing society forward and making history, what kind of generation turns out to be can definitely determine the destiny of our society. However, I can't agree with the speaker's assertion since the human growing process is a relatively long period, during which a lot of occurences can eventually determine who a person ends up to be and how he/she socializes in childhood is accounted as only one of the attributions, not even the most important one in my view. Moreover, my disagreement with the speaker also lays in the overstatement of our failing to teach children to build a better society.

Indisputably, what kind of socializing situation a child participates plays an significant role in determining and shaping his/her personality and value system. Most of the time, children's earliest socializing occasion is in the family and parents and siblings make up their first socializing group, which has a noticeable impact on the growing process of the children. For instance, when parents tell children to look after their little brother or sister or share toys or cookies, they learn to care for others and share good things; when children watch their parents always warm-heartedly lead helping hand to senior neighbors or are regularly taken to visit their grandparents, they learn to help, respect and care for old people. To the contrast, when children hear parents expressing discriminatory opinions about a religion or a racial group, they form a basic view about the religion or racial group, which may be continuously carried through their entire lives. Also, when they are in school socializing with their peers, they learn how to cooperate in a group project and how to compete in a（an） athletic contest. Yet, when they socialize with some not the best behaved peers,（这句话我真的不能接受……sb socialize with sb 可以么……还有 后面是不是可以写with some peers which are not that good….）
plus peer pressure, they tend to challenge authority of parents and school, sometimes even social, (social disciplines 连在一起是么)disciplines by acting rebelliously like skipping class, smoking or taking drugs. Consequently（这里用consequently是表示因此的意思么……） how children socialize help them become a member of the society with good manners and positive energy, or turn out to be the otherwise.

On the other hand, how children end up to be as adults is due to many determining factors（几个决定性因素？很少看到determining factors 用法） rather than only how they socialize in their childhood. Those factors are the most common accompanies through their growing process such as academic knowledge they learn in every school class, experience they ingest from every success or failure, joy or grieve they feel from every happy hour or sad event, the words of wisdom they hear from a random radio program, or even an inspiring book or movie they read or watch by themselves. The truth is there are numerous lessons and tests lying in the journey of children's growing up, which pushes（主语是numerous lessons吧，是不是用push）
them to experience, to learn, to toughen up and to prepare themselves for the complexity of society.

At the same time, while neither our children's growing environment nor educational system is perfect, even evident flaws lie in them, we have not failed our mission in keeping raising an intellectual, independent, civilized and moral generation after another considering the rapid and steady progress in various fields they have made and are still making. (这句话是不是可以在考虑下，是说 ：看到下一代们在各个领域已经创造或者正在创造的进步后，我们成功地完成了抚养聪明独立文明道德的下一代？ 赞这句话……但是有点太中文思维的感觉)To support this point, one needs to look no further than the facts that death is being defied with the remarkable advancements achieved in medical area; distance has been shortened and productivity has been enhanced with broader usage and speeding development of science and technology; outer space is being explored and hunger and environmental pollution are being eliminated with global cooperations. Additionally, equal rights and respects between men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, the able and the disable and people from different racial or religious backgrounds have gained increasing demand among all human communities. Yet, the awareness of protecting the interests of vulnerable social groups like women, children and the senior citizens has never been higher. In another words, with all the warrant evidences, the speaker's claim that we have not learned how to raise our children who can help bring about a better society is ungrounded.

To sum up, how a child socialize is just one of many components that determines how he/she will eventually turn out to be. And with all the noticeable achievements accomplished by generations, it is unfair to say our society is not steadily evolving into a more developed and civilized one.

大负小正的论证思路
提出小时环境对孩子有深刻影响
然后说明除了社会环境之外，影响孩子心智的还有很多因素
然后从已有的事实来证明人类对于抚养孩子的这个任务大体上是成功的
我个人意见是不是能把how to socialize children 具体成一件事情，比如how to affect the child’s personality，一直说社会化孩子，感觉太宏观。

但是作者能写这么多，真得很不容易。我当时看了题目就完全不知道该怎么写。