0910G [Just do it]Issue51 by greenxs

greenxsUID: 2529289

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Therefore, some scholars suggest that it is the responsibility for education to design courses that every student will be interested and needed. After considering the assertion carefully, to be honest, I only concede that specifically designed individual education may be truly effective in some particular situation, otherwise, its disadvantages are overweigh its advantages.


Admittedly, it is reasonable to design courses based on needs and interests of each student, especially for university students. Since traditional education is a little bit rigidify which might put students into a deadlock. In other words, when students go to the college, they often can not find which specialty they really enjoy，or some of them lucked to find one but the time has passed by. Professor Judi M. H. who is an US psychologist, she has a survey about how interest important for university success, It conclude that interests gives a richer understanding of motivational dynamics that can promote academic success and lifelong learning as adolescents enter university, and make academic choices. And we also have the same feeling in this point, when we fascinated with certain field, no matter how difficult it is, we always have energy to overcome them.

On the other hand, it is true that individual needs and interests should be satisfied in some way, but it is not feasible to specially designed courses to meet each student’s demand, especially with fundamental education. Nowadays educational mode has been studied by numerous educators and economists; it has developed for many years and has a rather practical pattern to suit for circumstance of today. We could simply imagine that every one has individual interest, or maybe each of them has several interests, so every school needs tremendous teachers. This is impossible. Well, individual education indeed has fostered a large number of remarkable people, like Mozart and Leonardo da Vinci, but the governments have not enough capital to cultivate each student to become a master. Even if individual education has practiced in some particular area and private school, it is unrealism to apply to the whole educational system.


Finally, specifically designed individual education may impede the development of students. A lot of students are used to learn knowledge in which they interested by themselves. However, teachers and designed courses may change learners' thoughts in some way. Since the relationship between students and teachers are asymmetrical and unbalanced, when teachers being a position of authority, the students have little choices but to passively absorb the information provided by the teacher. As Professor Judi said: “there is not much that educators can do about individual interest, but they have an enormous impact on it.” Therefore, specifically designed individual education may not truly effective. Nevertheless, it seems generous education always has some benefits on motivating students’ interests and provide an integral perspective in their study. Bill Gates is good example, he is surely a genius of computer, but if he has not the ability of management, he will never found Microsoft and become the riches man in the world.

All in all, as I have mentioned above, specifically designed education for each student is not practically, it is not enough for students to free their mind and soul, and not truly effective to meet their needs and interests. In the field of studying education, we also need more novelty and sensible ideas to meet all students’ demand.

greenxsUID: 2529289

例子是跟一个稍微沾点边的例子改过来的，呵呵，所以语言也比较简单
大概写了三个多小吧，可能更多，没算时间~~

2# cxjack

修改完了的

It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Therefore, some scholars suggest that it is the responsibility for education to design courses that every student will be interested and needed. After considering the assertion carefully, to be honest, I only concede that specifically designed individual education may be truly effective only in some particular situation, otherwise, its disadvantages are overweigh its advantages.


Admittedly, it is reasonable to design courses based on needs and interests of each student, especially for university students. Since traditional education is a little bit rigidify which might put students into a deadlock. In other words, when students go to the college, they often can not find which specialty they really enjoy，or some of them lucked to find one but the time has passed by. Professor Judi M. H. who is an US psychologist, she has a survey about how interest important for university success. It conclude that interests gives a richer understanding of motivational dynamics that can promote academic success and lifelong learning as adolescents enter university, and make academic choices. And we also have the same feeling in this point, when we fascinated with certain field, no matter how difficult it is, we always have energy to overcome them.

On the other hand, it is true that individual needs and interests should be satisfied in some way, but it is not feasible to specially designed courses to meet each student’s demand, especially with fundamental education. Nowadays educational mode has been studied by numerous educators and economists; it has developed for many years and has a rather practical pattern to suit for circumstance of today. We could simply imagine that every one has individual interest, or maybe each of them has several interests, so every school needs amounts of tremendous teachers. This is impossible. However individual education indeed has fostered a large number of remarkable people, like Mozart and Leonardo da Vinci, the governments have not enough capital to cultivate each student to become a master. Even if individual education has practiced in some particular area and private school, it is unrealism to apply to the whole educational system.


Finally, specifically designed individual education may impede the development of students. A lot of students are used to learn knowledge in which they interested by themselves. However, teachers and designed courses may change learners' thoughts in some way. Since the relationship between students and teachers are asymmetrical and unbalanced, when teachers being a position of authority, the students have little choices but to passively absorb the information provided by the teacher. As Professor Judi said: “there is not much that educators can do about individual interest, but they have an enormous impact on it.” Therefore, specifically designed individual education may not truly effective. Nevertheless, it seems general education always has some benefits on motivating students’ interests and provide an integral perspective in their study. Bill Gates is good example, he is surely a genius of computer, but if he does not have the ability of management, he will never found Microsoft and become the richest man in the world.

All in all, as I have mentioned above, specifically designed education for each student is not practically. It is not enough for students to free their mind and soul, and also not only truly effective to meet their needs and interests. In the field of studying education, we also need more novelty and sensible ideas to meet all students’ demand.

zmjxf2008UID: 2597395

It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Therefore, some scholars suggest that it is the responsibility for education to design courses that every student will be interested and needed(will need and be interested,need 不能用被动啊这里）. After（可以去掉吧） considering the assertion carefully, to be honest, I only concede that specifically designed individual education may be truly effective only in some particular situation, otherwise, its disadvantages are（will，overweigh是动词） overweigh its advantages.


Admittedly, it is reasonable to design courses based on needs and interests of each student, especially for university students. Since traditional education is a little bit rigidify（动词，应该是rigid吧） which might put students into a deadlock. In other words, when students go to the college, they often can not find which（引导宾语从句，用what习惯些）specialty they really enjoy，or some of them lucked to find one but the time has passed by. Professor Judi M. H. who is an US psychologist, she has a survey about how interest important for university success.(这个句子再读一遍就能读出语法问题哦，应该把she去掉，改成这样，Professor Judi M. H.，an US psychologist,has a survey about how important interest is for university success） It conclude that interests（interest）gives a richer understanding of motivational dynamics that can promote academic success and lifelong learning as adolescents enter university, and make academic choices. And we also have the same feeling in this point, when we fascinated with certain field, no matter how difficult it is, we always have energy to overcome them.

On the other hand,（XDF老师好像强调了on the other hand 是用在一个事物对等的两方面，不表转折） it is true that individual needs and interests should be satisfied in some way, but it is not feasible to specially designed courses to meet each student’s demand, especially with fundamental education. Nowadays educational mode has been studied by numerous educators and economists; it has developed for many years and has a rather practical pattern to suit for circumstance of today. We could simply imagine that every one has individual interest, or maybe each of them has several interests, so every school needs amounts of tremendous teachers. This is impossible. However（用although） individual education indeed has fostered a large number of remarkable people, like Mozart and Leonardo da Vinci, the governments have not enough capital to cultivate each student to become a master. Even if individual education has practiced in some particular area and private school, it is unrealism（unrealistic） to apply to the whole educational system.


Finally, specifically designed individual education may impede the development of students. A lot of students are used to learn knowledge in which they interested by themselves. However, teachers and designed courses may change learners' thoughts in some way. Since the relationship between students and teachers are asymmetrical and unbalanced, when teachers being a position of authority, the students have little choices but to passively absorb the information provided by the teacher. As Professor Judi said: “there is not much that educators can do about individual interest, but they have an enormous impact on it.” Therefore, specifically designed individual education may not truly effective. Nevertheless, it seems general education always has some benefits on motivating students’ interests and provide an integral perspective in their study. Bill Gates is good example, he is surely a genius of computer, but if he does not have the ability of management, he will never found Microsoft and become the richest man in the world.
红色部分觉得没有说的很清楚，teachers being a position of authority 觉得有些突兀，所以缺乏说服力。后半段写的很好，建议可以重点写general education的好处，或者把前面的部分论证的更清楚。

All in all, as I have mentioned above, specifically designed education for each student is not practically（practical）. It is not enough for students to free their mind and soul, and also not only truly effective to meet their needs and interests. In the field of studying education, we also need more novelty and sensible ideas to meet all students’ demand.

（改了一些句法的问题，建议写作的时候注意一下词性）
文章有很多亮点，比如一些用词，准确自然。
不限时写作的时候一定要注意语法上的准确哦，不然会影响阅卷人对你深刻思想的理解

greenxsUID: 2529289

新的版本改完了，组长好厉害~~~谢谢，谢谢~~

下个同学继续拍吧~~~

It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Therefore, some scholars suggest that it is the responsibility for education to design courses that every student will need and be interested. After considering the assertion carefully, to be honest, I only concede that specifically designed individual education may be truly effective only in some particular situation, otherwise, its disadvantages will overweigh its advantages.


Admittedly, it is reasonable to design courses based on needs and interests of each student, especially for university students. Since traditional education is a little bit rigidity which might put students into a deadlock. In other words, when students go to the college, they often can not find what specialty they really enjoy，or some of them lucked to find one but the time has passed by. Professor Judi M. H. Who is an US psychologist, did a survey recently, which results conducted the importance of interests for achieving academic success in university. It concludes that interests can guide deeper understanding of motivation make academic choices and develop lifelong learning while adolescents enter university. We also have the same feeling in this point, when we fascinated with certain field, no matter how difficult it is, we always have energy to overcome them.

Although it is true that individual needs and interests should be satisfied in some way, but it is not feasible to specially designed courses to meet each student’s demand, especially with fundamental education. Nowadays educational mode has been studied by numerous educators and economists; it has developed for many years and has a rather practical pattern to suit for circumstance of today. We could simply imagine that every one has individual interest, or maybe each of them has several interests, so every school needs amounts of tremendous teachers. This is impossible. While individual education indeed has fostered a large number of remarkable people, like Mozart and Leonardo da Vinci, the governments have not enough capital to cultivate each student to become a master. Even if individual education has practiced in some particular area and private school, it is unrealistic to apply to the whole educational system.


Finally, specifically designed individual education may impede the development of students. A lot of students are used to learn knowledge in which they interested by themselves. However, teachers and designed courses may change learners' thoughts in some way. Since sometimes the relationship between students and teachers are asymmetrical and unbalanced, when teachers being a position of authority, the students will have little choices but to passively absorb the information provided by the teacher. As Professor Judi said: “there is not much that educators can do about individual interest, but they have an enormous impact on it.” Therefore, specifically designed individual education may not truly effective and may restrain them from advancing.

Nevertheless, students, in some degree, seem to have some benefits on motivating their interests and provide an integral perspective from general education. Bill Gates is good example, he is surely a genius of computer, but if he does not have the ability of management, he will never found Microsoft and become the richest man in the world.

All in all, as I have mentioned above, specifically designed education for each student is not a practical method. It is not enough for students to free their mind and soul, and also not only truly effective to meet their needs and interests. In the field of studying education, we also need more novelty and sensible ideas to meet all students’ demand.

4# zmjxf2008

chill_lyUID: 2640200

5# greenxs

It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. Therefore, some scholars suggest that it is the responsibility of education to design courses that every student needs and is interested in (一般时就好). After considering the assertion carefully, to be honest, I only concede that specifically designed individual education may be truly effective only in some particular situation, otherwise, its disadvantages will overweigh its advantages.

Admittedly, it is reasonable to design courses based on needs and interests of each student, especially for university students. Since traditional education is a little bit rigidity which might put students into a deadlock. In other words, when students go to the college, they often cannot find what specialty they really enjoy，or some of them are lucky to find one but the time has passed by. Professor Judi M. H. Who is an US psychologist, did a survey recently, whose results conducted the importance of interests for achieving academic success in university. It concludes that interests can guide deeper understanding of motivation, make academic choices and develop lifelong learning while adolescents enter university. We also have the same feeling in this point, when we fascinated with certain field, no matter how difficult it is, we always have energy to overcome them.

Although it is true that individual needs and interests should be satisfied in some way, but it is not feasible to design courses specially to meet each student’s demand, especially for fundamental education. Nowadays educational mode has been studied by numerous educators and economists; it has developed for many years and has a rather practical pattern to suit for circumstance today. We could simply imagine that everyone has individual interest, or maybe each of them has several interests, so every school needs amounts of tremendous teachers，(词用得不好，换下表达方式) which is impossible. While individual education indeed has fostered a large number of remarkable people, like Mozart and Leonardo da Vinci, the governments have not enough capital to cultivate each student to become a master. Even if individual education has practiced in some particular area and private school, it is unrealistic to apply to the whole educational system.

Finally, specifically designed individual education may impede the development of students. A lot of students are used to learn knowledge in which they interested by themselves. However, teachers and designed courses may change learners' thoughts in some way. Since sometimes the relationship between students and teachers are asymmetrical and unbalanced, when teachers are in a position of authority, the students will have little choices but to passively absorb the information provided by the teacher. As Professor Judi said: “there is not much that educators can do about individual interest， but they have an enormous impact on it.” Therefore, specifically designed individual education may not truly effective and may restrain them from advancing.

Nevertheless, students, in some degrees, seem to have some benefits on motivating their interests and provide an integral perspective from general education. Bill Gates is good example, he is surely a genius of computer, but if he does not have the ability of management, he will never found Microsoft and become the richest man in the world.
All in all, as I have mentioned above, specifically designed education for each student is not a practical method. It is not enough for students to free their mind and soul, and also not only truly effective to meet their needs and interests. (你的写法不太好，看看我这个Neither it is enough for students to free their mind and soul, nor truly effective to meet their needs and interests.)In the field of studying education, (想表达什么？用education就可以了吧) we also need more novelty and sensible ideas to meet all students’ demand.


文章到现在已经相当不错了，就是一些小问题
加油！