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[a习作temp] 0910G [Just do it] Argument51 by houpei0126 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-1 17:46:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
The Argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned.
By making a comparison of the two group patients, the one with
taking antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and therefore their recuperate time 40 percent quicker than typically expected, the other group without taking antibiotics, a result of recuperation time was not significantly reduced, the Argument for secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly
after severe muscle strain seems logical.


However, the doctors are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the patients’ healing quickly. Such alternatives may include the fact that the two doctors are totally different, Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, but at the same time, Dr. Alton is a general physician. A doctor who with a fully experience of healing patients compared with the one who not good at in healing muscle strains can be really different. It’s possible that Dr. Newland
make some effective method to help patients reduce the refection time through his knowledge, but Dr. Alton may just do some simple work. In addition, the doctors have failed to consider the age and the health condition of these two groups. Perhaps the second group is much older or has other sickness that influence the recuperation time.

It mentioned in the text this experiment through taking antibiotics, patients can healing quickly, thus to prove the secondary infections occurred in muscle strain. But this may also because the antibiotics themselves can help to healing, so the patients without secondary infections can also have this effect. Again, doctor can’t conclude all patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, because the people who are


pregnant, have other sickness which have side effect to antibiotics or be sensitive to antibiotics are not fit in this treating means.

Overall, the reasoning behind to advice patients with muscle strain to take antibiotics as presented above since it’s very possible that secondary infection prevent the patients from healing quickly. However, before any final conclusions are made about, the doctors should
evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for what help patients healing quickly.
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沙发
发表于 2009-6-1 23:33:19 |只看该作者
才发现复制过来不知道怎么的有点乱~~~修改一下哈
The Argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned.  By making a comparison of the two group patients, the one with taking antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and therefore their recuperate time 40 percent quicker than typically expected, the other group without taking antibiotics, a result of recuperation time was not significantly reduced, the Argument for secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain seems logical.

However, the doctors are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the patients’ healing quickly. Such alternatives may include the fact that the two doctors are totally different, Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, but at the same time, Dr. Alton is a general physician. A doctor who with a fully experience of healing patients compared with the one who not good at in healing muscle strains can be really different. It’s possible that Dr. Newland  make some effective method to help patients reduce the refection time through his knowledge, but Dr. Alton may just do some simple work. In addition, the doctors have failed to consider the age and the health condition of these two groups. Perhaps the second group is much older or has other sickness that influence the recuperation time.
It mentioned in the text this experiment through taking antibiotics, patients can healing quickly, thus to prove the secondary infections occurred in muscle strain. But this may also because the antibiotics themselves can help to healing, so the patients without secondary infections can also have this effect. Again, doctor can’t conclude all patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, because the people who are    pregnant, have other sickness which have side effect to antibiotics or be sensitive to antibiotics are not fit in this treating means.
Overall, the reasoning behind to advice patients with muscle strain to take antibiotics as presented above since it’s very possible that secondary infection prevent the patients from healing quickly. However, before any final conclusions are made about, the doctors should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for what help patients healing quickly.

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板凳
发表于 2009-6-2 12:03:44 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 dodolulu 于 2009-6-2 12:07 编辑

The Argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned.  By making a comparison of the two group patients, the one with taking antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and therefore their recuperate time was 40 percent quicker than typically expected, the other group without taking antibiotics, a result of recuperation time was not significantly reducedthe recuperation time was not significantly reduced, the argument for secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain seems logical.

However, the doctors are failing(failed) to consider other possible alternatives to the patients’ healing quickly. Such alternatives may include the fact that the two doctors are totally different, Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, but at the same time, Dr. Alton is a general physician. A doctor who has a fully experience of healing patients compared with the one who is not good at in healing muscle strains can be really different. It’s possible that Dr. Newland  make some effective methods to help patients reduce the refection time through his knowledge, but Dr. Alton may just do some simple work. In addition, the doctors have failed to consider the age and the health condition of these two groups. Perhaps the second group is much older or has other sickness that influence the recuperation time.
最好加个过渡词语,增强文章逻辑性It mentioned in the text this experiment through taking antibiotics, patients can healing quickly, thus to prove the secondary infections occurred in muscle strain. But this may also because the antibiotics themselves can help to healing, so the patients without secondary infections can also have this effect. Again很有学术文章味道的连词, doctor can’t conclude all patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, because the people who are    pregnant, have other sickness which have side effect to antibiotics or be sensitive to antibiotics are not fit in this treating means.
Overall, the reasoning
reason
behind to adviceadvicing patients with muscle strain to take antibiotics as presented above since it’s very possible that secondary infection prevent the patients from healing quickly. However, before any final conclusions are made about, the doctors should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for what help patients healing quickly.
A写的像i,没有模版的痕迹,很清新,不过字数有点少
错误也找的比较有层次性,使文章可读性很强
有些语法错误,以后多注意点吧
第一次改作文,很幼稚,多多见谅


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地板
发表于 2009-6-2 22:00:05 |只看该作者
想了半天,字数也没加上多少,希望后面的同学可以帮我指点一下迷津。只是简单的修改了一下,见谅了。
The Argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned.  By making a comparison of the two group patients, the one with taking antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and therefore their recuperate time was 40 percent quicker than typically expected, the other group without taking antibiotics, a result of the recuperation time was not significantly reduced, the argument for secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain seems logical.

However, the doctors are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the patients’ healing quickly. Such alternatives may include the fact that the two doctors are totally different, Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, but at the same time, Dr. Alton is a general physician. A doctor who has a fully experience of healing patients compared with the one who is not good at in healing muscle strains can be really different. It’s possible that Dr. Newland  make some effective methods to help patients reduce the refection time through his knowledge and fully experience, but Dr. Alton ,without a good knowledge of training muscle strain ,may just do some simple work. In addition, the doctors have failed to consider the age and the health condition of these two groups. Perhaps the second group is much older or has any other sickness that influence the recuperation time.
What’s more, it mentioned in the text this experiment through taking antibiotics, patients can healing quickly, thus to prove the secondary infections occurred in muscle strain. But this may also because the antibiotics themselves can help to healing, so the patients without secondary infections can also have this effect. Again, doctor can’t conclude all patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, because the people who are pregnant, have other sickness which have side effect to antibiotics or be sensitive to antibiotics are not fit in this treating methods.
Overall, the reason behind to advice patients with muscle strain to take antibiotics as presented above since it’s very possible that secondary infection prevent the patients from healing quickly. However, before any final conclusions are made about, the doctors should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for what help patients healing quickly.

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发表于 2009-6-2 23:47:53 |只看该作者
The Argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned.  By making a comparison of the two groups of patients, the one with taking antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment and therefore their recuperate time was 40 percent quicker than typically expected, the other group without taking antibiotics, a result of the recuperation time was not significantly reduced, the argument for secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain seems logical.

However, the doctors are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the patients’ healing quickly. Such alternatives may include the fact that the two doctors are totally different, Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, but at the same time, Dr. Alton is a general physician. A doctor who has a fully experience of healing patients compared with the one who is not good at in去掉 healing muscle strains can be really different. It’s possible that Dr. Newland  make some effective methods to help patients reduce the refection time through his knowledge and fully experience, but Dr. Alton ,without a good knowledge of training muscle strain ,may just do some simple work. In addition, the doctors have failed to consider the age and the health condition of these two groups. Perhaps the second group is much older or has any other sickness that influence the recuperation time.
What’s more, it mentioned in the text this experiment through taking antibiotics, patients can healing quickly, thus to prove the secondary infections occurred in muscle strain. But this may also because the antibiotics themselves can help to healing, so the patients without secondary infections can also have this effect. Again, doctor can’t conclude all patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, because the people who are pregnant, have other sickness which have side effect to antibiotics or be sensitive to antibiotics are not fit in this treating methods.这段讲了2点错误,但是都写的比较简单,建议写深一点。比如ARGUMENT犯了以一部分推到全部的错误,不是所有人都能用抗生素,比如过敏的、怀孕的、耐受的等等
Overall, the reason behind to advice patients with muscle strain to take antibiotics as presented above since it’s very possible that secondary infection prevent the patients from healing quickly. However, before any final conclusions are made about, the doctors should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for what help patients healing quickly.
整体写的不错,很清晰
我也是觉得没有抄模板,看起来很舒服,没有华丽的文字却表达出了自己的意思
加油

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发表于 2009-6-3 23:33:26 |只看该作者
The Argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned.  By making a comparison of the two groups ofpatients, the one with taking antibiotics regularly throughout theirtreatment这个从句没有谓语哦 and therefore their recuperation time was 40 percent quickerthan the typically expected, the other group without taking antibiotics, aresult of the recuperation time was not significantly reduced, theargument for secondary infections may keep some patients from healingquickly after severe muscle strain seems logical.
这一段第二句话太长了,其实可以分成句话来说
However, the doctors are failing to consider other possiblealternatives to the patients’ healing quickly. Such alternatives mayinclude the fact that the two doctors are totally different, Dr.Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, but at the sametime, Dr. Alton is a general physician. A doctor who has a fully\fullexperience of healing patients compared with the one who is not good at in去掉healing muscle strains can be really different. It’s possible that Dr.Newland  makes some effective methods to help patients reduce therefection time through his knowledge and fully experience, but Dr.Alton ,without a good knowledge of training muscle strain ,may just dosome simple work. In addition, the doctors\感觉应该是arguer have failed to consider theage and the health condition of these two groups. Perhaps the secondgroup is much older or has any other sickness that influence therecuperation time.
What’s more, it mentioned in the text this experiment through takingantibiotics, patients can healing quickly, thus to prove the secondaryinfections occurred in muscle strain. But this may also because theantibiotics themselves can help to healing, so the patients withoutsecondary infections can also have this effect. Again, doctor can’tconclude all patients should take antibiotics as part of theirtreatment, because the people who are pregnant, have other sicknesswhich have side effect to antibiotics or be sensitive to antibioticsare not fit in this treating methods.
这段同意ls的建议,两个问题分成两段写
Overall, the reason behind to\the advice patients with muscle strain totake antibiotics as presented above since it’s very possible thatsecondary infection prevent the patients from healing quickly. However,before any final conclusions are made about, the doctors shouldevaluate all possible alternatives and causes for what help patientshealing quickly.

刚开始写能写成这样已经不错,继续加油


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RE: 0910G [Just do it] Argument51 by houpei0126 [修改]

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0910G [Just do it] Argument51 by houpei0126
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-959601-1-1.html
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