0910AW 同主题写作第二期Argument173 by dacongfan

dacongfanUID: 2644717

The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.
'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'


In the argument the publisher of a newsmagazine recommends that Newsbeat(N) should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on magazine covers. To support his recommendation, the publisher points out that the magazines with the international stories on the covers were the poorest-selling magazines in the past three years. Also the publisher cites a fact showing the reduction in the number of cover stories about the international news and the increase in the cost of maintaining the foreign bureaus reporting international news. I find the argument is logically flawed in several respects.

The threshold problem with the argument is that the publisher unfairly assumes that the international news stories on the front covers contributes to the poor selling of those issues of magazine. Yet the speaker provides no evidence to substantiate that this is the case. It is entirely possible that the contents of those issues were not as appealing as it was. Also possible is that the magazines with international news on its front cover were more expensive than that with domestic news on covers in that the cost of reporting international news is far higher. Without considering and ruling out those possible explanations for the poor selling, the publisher cannot fully recommend that N should pay less emphasis on international news.

The second problem with the argument is that the speaker relies on the poor assumption that the decrease of competing news magazines in their number of cover stories on international news is the result of the poor selling. Unfortunately, this is not necessarily the case. It is of great possibility that the decrease in the number of covers with international stories has no relations with the selling at all but out of the reason that the magazines are intentionally exploring new markets. Lacking such evidence, it is unjustifiable for the publisher to confidently come to the conclusion.

Before I come to my conclusion, another flaw appearing in the argument which I have to refer to is that the publisher assumes without justification that the rise in cost may produce the decline in profit but fails to offer us the possible explanations for the increase. It might be the case that although the cost spent on international news increased, other factors may also increase proportionally. For example, the price of the magazine, the cost in reporting domestic news and so forth. If either of the scenario is true, the reason the publisher cites lends little credible support to the argument.

All in all the argument is not wholly convincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, I need to know the information about the real reasons for the poor-selling of the magazines. Also I need to know is that the decreased emphasis of competing magazines on covers with international news is due to the poor-selling of those magazines. To better assess the argument, it would be better to know the information about other factors that may contribute to the rise in the cost.

银落UID: 2632560

我错了。。。我马上改。。~

银落UID: 2632560

The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'

好词好句
我的感想
语法错误
In the argument the publisher of a newsmagazine recommends that Newsbeat(N) should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on magazine covers. 1To support his recommendation, the publisher points out that the magazines with the international stories on the covers were the poorest-selling magazines in the past three years. 2Also the publisher cites a fact showing the reduction in the number of cover stories about the international news话说1和2不是一个意思吗，就是说magazine with international story on cover 的sales不好 and the increase in the cost of maintaining the foreign bureaus reporting international news. I find the argument is logically flawed in several respects.
恩。。。这段我大致理了思路。。似乎是这样的。。先提出作者的建议。。。然后给出作者支持这些建议的论据。。。然后说这些是错的。。。恩。。。。思路很好。。。只是语言再加强一点就好哦。
The threshold problem with the argument is that the publisher unfairly assumes that the international news stories on the front covers contributes to the poor selling of those issues of magazine. Yet the speaker provides no evidence to substantiate that this is the case.（似乎这里的表达有点奇怪，如果直接说yet the international story cover is not the only influence on the declined sales 会比较顺） It is entirely possible that the contents of those issues were not as appealing as it was. Also possible is that the magazines with international news on its front cover were more expensive than that with domestic news on covers in that the cost of reporting international news is far higher.（这里的理由我觉得有点不合常理，可以直接说是杂志的价钱影响到了，因为没有什么杂志是因为封面故事不一样就价钱差很高的） Without considering and ruling out those possible explanations for the poor selling, the publisher cannot fully recommend that N should pay less emphasis on international news.

The second problem with the argument is that the speaker relies on the poor assumption that the decrease of competing news magazines in their number of cover stories on international news is the result of the poor selling.
Unfortunately, this is not necessarily the case. It is of great possibility that the decrease in the number of covers with international stories has no relations with the selling at all but out of the reason that the magazines are intentionally exploring new markets. Lacking such evidence, it is unjustifiable for the publisher to confidently come to the conclusion.

Before I come to my conclusion, another flaw appearing in the argument which I have to refer to is that the publisher assumes without justification that the rise in cost may produce the decline in profit but fails to offer us the possible explanations for the increase.（这里的句子结构似乎有点不对，Before I coming to my conclusion, another flaw appears in the argument which I have to refer to is that the publisher not only assumes without justification that the rise in cost may produce the decline in profit but fails to offer us the possible explanations for the increase.） It might be the case that although the cost spent on international news increased, other factors may also increase proportionally. For example,(改成consider会比较好吧) the price of the magazine, the cost in reporting domestic news and so forth. If either of the scenario（用possibility比较好？。。scenario有点不适合） is true, the reason the publisher cites lends little credible support to the argument.

All in all the argument is not wholly convincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, I need to know the information about the real reasons for the poor-selling of the magazines. Also I need to know is that the decreased emphasis of competing magazines on covers with international news is due to the poor-selling of those magazines. To better assess（用在这里也有点不合适，support就可以了） the argument, it would be better to know the information about other factors that may contribute to the rise in the cost.
说下整体感觉吧，总体逻辑是很好的，只是遣词造句上再加强点哦，不要太过刻意追求长难句，不然很容易出错的》《。。。加油。。。

dacongfanUID: 2644717

呵呵，谢谢拉，虚心接受，共同进步啊

wswjwjUID: 2624688

0910AW 同主题写作第二期Argument173 by dacongfan
The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.
'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'


In the argument the publisher of a newsmagazine recommends that Newsbeat (N) should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on magazine covers. To support his recommendation, the publisher points out that the magazines with the international stories on the covers were the poorest-selling magazines in the past three years. Also the publisher cites a fact showing the reduction in the number of cover stories about the international news and the increase in the cost of maintaining the foreign bureaus reporting international news. I find the argument is logically flawed in several respects.

The threshold problem with the argument is that the publisher unfairly assumes that the international news stories on the front covers contributes to the poor selling of those issues of magazine. Yet the speaker provides no evidence to substantiate that this is the case. It is entirely possible that the contents of those issues were not as appealing as it was. Also possible is that the magazines with international news on its front cover were more expensive than that with domestic news on covers in that the cost of reporting international news is far higher. （论证很好，不过第二条不懂，杂志的价格不是一般不变吗？）Without considering and ruling out those possible explanations for the poor selling, the publisher cannot fully recommend that N should pay less emphasis on international news.

The second problem with the argument is that the speaker relies on the poor assumption that the decrease of competing news magazines in their number of cover stories on international news is the result of the poor selling. Unfortunately, this is not necessarily the case. It is of great possibility that the decrease in the number of covers with international stories has no relations with the selling at all but out of the reason that the magazines are intentionally exploring new markets. Lacking such evidence, it is unjustifiable for the publisher to confidently come to the conclusion.（其实这条我觉得可以接着说，比如他们走了以后留下的机会^^）

Before I come to my conclusion, another flaw appearing in the argument which I have to refer to is that the publisher assumes without justification that the rise in cost may produce the decline in profit but fails to offer us the possible explanations for the increase.（很漂亮的句子^^） It might be the case that although the cost spent on international news increased, other factors may also increase proportionally. For example, the price of the magazine, the cost in reporting domestic news and so forth. If either of the scenario is true, the reason the publisher cites lends little credible support to the argument.（这段也没展开~ 很遗憾 我觉得有问题的东西还是很多，不如增长在哪里，是否有关系，减少新闻能否减少开支等等）

All in all the argument is not wholly convincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, I need to know the information about the real reasons for the poor-selling of the magazines. Also I need to know is that the decreased emphasis of competing magazines on covers with international news is due to the poor-selling of those magazines. To better assess the argument, it would be better to know the information about other factors that may contribute to the rise in the cost.


总体来说写的很好，特别是表达和用词，深受启发^^
小问题就是后两个展开的不够吧，你的功底这么好，多想想肯定没问题，加油^^

cooljcqUID: 2498528

改晚了，还请原谅

robotwishUID: 2550184

In the argument the publisher of a newsmagazine recommends that Newsbeat(N) should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on magazine covers. To support his recommendation(是否换个更好), the publisher points out that the magazines with the international stories on the covers were the poorest-selling magazines in the past three years. Also the publisher cites a fact showing the reduction in the number of cover stories about the international news（貌似与上一句重复了，还有，是不是这句应该是说关于竞争者这个论据） and the increase in the cost of maintaining the foreign bureaus reporting international news. I find the argument is logically flawed in several respects.

The threshold problem with the argument is that the publisher unfairly assumes that the international news stories on the front covers contributes to the poor selling of those issues of magazine（个人觉得这里可以替换一下一个of或者改变一下表达方式，两个of有点怪怪的）. Yet the speaker provides no evidence to substantiate that this is the case. It is entirely possible that the contents of those issues were not as appealing as it was. Also possible(可以这么倒装？possible) is that the magazines with international news on its front cover（与前面magazines不对应） were more expensive than that with domestic news on covers in that the cost of reporting international news is far higher（这里that去掉合适点）. Without ruling （这一个possibility，没有说到底，贵了就没人买了？我觉得应该加上一句人们认为花这么多钱去买不值得）out those possible explanations for the poor selling, the publisher cannot fully recommend that N should pay less emphasis on international news.

The second problem with the argument is that the speaker relies on the poor assumption that the decrease of competing news magazines in their number of cover stories on international news is the result of the poor selling. Unfortunately, this is not necessarily the case（可以这么表达?）. It is of great possibility that the decrease in the number of covers with international stories（封面数目的下降？） has no relations with the selling at all but out of the reason that the magazines are intentionally exploring new markets（这段话我有2个疑问，一是句式上我觉得有待雕琢就是but之后；你整句表达的是说竞争者带有国际新闻封面的杂志的下降并不一定和糟糕的销量有关系，但是下面的other possibility说可能他们要开拓市场，有点对不上吧？或者你没表达清楚你的意思，，，而且这地方用but也不合适吧，下面的从句我看也得调整一下）. Lacking such evidence, it is unjustifiable for the publisher to confidently come to the conclusion.

Before I come to my conclusion, another flaw appearing in the argument which I have to refer to is that the publisher assumes without justification that the rise in cost may produce the decline in profit but fails to offer us the possible explanations for the increase. It might be the case that although the cost spent on international news increased, other factors may also increase proportionally. For example, the price of the magazine, the cost in reporting domestic news and so forth（一；句子解雇不全
二：审题有误the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing）. If either of the scenario is true, the reason the publisher cites lends little credible support to the argument.

All in all the argument is not wholly convincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, I need to know the information about the real reasons for the poor-selling of the magazines. Also I need to know is that the decreased emphasis of competing magazines on covers with international news is due to the poor-selling of those magazines. To better assess the argument, it would be better to know the information about other factors that may contribute to the rise in the cost.

总结：语法与结构上的问题我认为还是不大的，但是观点和逻辑上我觉得还需琢磨一下，写的深入一点，表达地再清楚一点（你给出的可能性都不能足够支持你反驳他的观点的有力论据），应该分析地再透彻点
如有不对请pm我，或者有疑问的地方请联系我，语言的不清楚与不礼貌，还请原谅

dacongfanUID: 2644717

呵呵，谢谢了，没有什么晚的

dacongfanUID: 2644717

呵呵，谢谢了