Argument242 =So What=小组第3次作业 by fengrui129

fengrui129UID: 2639927

argu 242


242. The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.

"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."

为解决最近上报的大学生作弊现象显著增加的问题，大学和学院应该采取和Groveton学院类似的诚信制度，该制度要求学生同意在学业中不作弊，并且当他们怀疑别人作弊的时候通知老师。Groveton的诚信制度代替了原有的学生被老师严密监视的老体制，在老体制中平均每年有30起作弊被上报。该制度被证明成功的多：在它实施的第一年，学生上报了21起作弊；五年后，这一数值下降到了14起。而且，在最近一次由Groveton诚信委员会组织的调查中，大部分学生说有了诚信制度他们更加不太可能作弊。

1．不一定有效，可能有作弊，只是没上报。老师没抓到学生，或许老师以为学生参加了诚信code ,变得很老实，因而放松了对他们的监管
2．时间顺序不代表因果关系。可能有其他原因：老道德教育等。
3．调查的可靠性。是诚信委员会组织的调查，学生有可能没有反应真实意愿。参与调查的学生的数量，样本是否有代表性。
4．不一定需要推广。学生的情况也不一样。学生作弊的原因是什么，应对症下药。

fengrui129UID: 2639927

In this editorial, the author recommends college and university should adopt honor codes to reduce students’ cheating. To support this recommendation the author points out that since Groveton's honor code has been established, the cheating cases declined year by year. The author also cites a survey conducted by the Groveton honor council indicating lesser students incline to cheat in their academic endeavors. Yet close scrutiny of these facts reveals that none of them lends credible support to the recommendation.

First of all, the decrease of cheating cases amounts scant evidence to support the author’s conclusion. Perhaps students utilize more advanced means to cheat and therefore their teachers can hardly observe cheating cases. Or perhaps, teachers assume that students have already promise that they will not cheat and they will inform teachers if they suspect others, as a result, teachers become slack off. For that matter, perhaps those students who involved in cheating have been caught by teachers, but those cases are not reported due to teachers’ lenience and benevolence. Without ruling out those possible factors, the author cannot justifiable concludes that the rate of students’ cheating shows a downward trend.

Even assuming that the decreased number of cheating cases is attributed to the implementation of honor code, the author fails to consider other possible situations may affect this phenomenon during five years. It is entirely possible that the university laid much emphasis on the students’ moral education and developed some relevant programs to enhance their awareness of being honest. In this sense, students become honest not because the deterrence of the honor code, but out of a belief of integrity. Accordingly, the author’s assertion that the honor code has proven far more successful cannot be taken seriously.

Thirdly, the survey cited by the author also does not necessarily imply the true intentions about the students at Groveton. Common sense informs us not all the students will give their feedbacks responsibly and some may give their feedback at random. Moreover, since the survey was done by the Groveton honor council, the students (especially those who have engaged in cheating), more often than not, hide their true feelings and tell lies. Even if those students are willing to tell truth, the final results of this survey may be terrible, and thus the staff in the Groveton honor council is apt to forge the survey’s result due to maintaining their fame. If so, the survey is far away from being useful.

Finally, even if the honor code does work at Groveton, the author’s recommendation merely based on the fact that what is effective at Groveton is equally effective to other institutions. Nevertheless, the author may overlook many similarities between them. For instance, perhaps Groveton students are more or less likely to report cheating, or to cheat under an honor system, than typical college students. Lacking evidence to substantiate this assumption, the argument is unacceptable and indefensible.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster the argument, the author must show-perhaps by way of observation to prove the honor code is effective in Groveton. The arguer can also substantiate other institutions are indeed similar to Groveton. To better assess this argument, I would need to know the percentage of cheating students among all students and whether there is false information about the reported number.

sha-shineUID: 2610662

In this editorial, the author recommends college and university should adopt honor codes to reduce students’ cheating. To support this recommendation the author points out that since Groveton's honor code has been established, the cheating cases declined year by year. The author also cites a survey conducted by the Groveton honor council indicating lesser students incline to cheat in their academic endeavors. Yet close scrutiny of these facts reveals that none（前面只提出了两点，不能用none,应该换成neither或者其他） of them lends credible support to the recommendation.
（首段简明，开门见山，提出结论和下文要剖析的论据，符合ETS的角度，要借鉴学习下。）
First of all, the decrease of cheating cases amounts scant evidence to support the author’s conclusion. Perhaps students utilize more advanced means to cheat and therefore their teachers can hardly observe cheating cases. Or perhaps,（今天学到一个模版放在这也许合适，替代Or perhaps 避免重复：Moreover, the argument overlooks the fact that… ） teachers assume that students have already promise that they will not cheat and they will inform teachers if they suspect others, as a result, teachers become slack off. For that matter, perhaps（哦
这里有三个perhaps。
如果换成：The editorial’s author has not accounted for the possibility that… 怎么样？可以商量下。还能多加些字数） those students who involved in cheating have been caught by teachers, but those cases are not reported due to teachers’ lenience and benevolence. Without ruling out those possible factors, the author cannot justifiable concludes that the rate of students’ cheating shows（这小词好！） a downward trend.

Even assuming that the decreased number of cheating cases is attributed to the implementation of honor code, the author fails to consider other possible situations may affect this phenomenon during five years. It is （没有查到这个短语，是在哪个范文里学到的还是。。。如果你要表达的是：在某种意义上,我查到了两个是：in a sense和in some sense）, entirely possible that the university laid（laid在这里怎么翻译，没有读明白。。。） much emphasis on the students’ moral education and developed some relevant programs to enhance their awareness of being honest. In this sensestudents become honest not because the deterrence of the honor code, but out of a belief of integrity. Accordingly, the author’s assertion that the honor code has proven far more successful cannot be taken seriously.

Thirdly, the survey cited by the author also does not necessarily imply the true intentions about the students at Groveton. Common sense informs us not all the students will give their feedbacks responsibly and some may give their feedback at random. Moreover, since the survey was done by the Groveton honor council, the students (especially those who have engaged in cheating), more often than not, hide their true feelings and tell lies. Even if those students are willing to tell truth, the final results of this survey may be terrible, and thus the staff in the Groveton honor council is apt to forge the survey’s result due to maintaining(to maintain 是词组
这里为什么加上ing 呢) their fame. If so, the survey is far away from being useful.

Finally, even if the honor code does work at Groveton, the author’s recommendation merely based on the fact that what is effective at Groveton is equally effective to other institutions. Nevertheless, the author may overlook many similarities between them. For instance, perhaps Groveton students are more or less likely to report cheating, or to cheat under an honor system, than typical college students. Lacking evidence to substantiate this assumption, the argument is unacceptable and indefensible.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster the argument, the author must show-perhaps by way of observation to prove the honor code is effective in Groveton. The arguer can also substantiate other institutions are indeed similar to Groveton. To better assess this argument, I would need to know the percentage of cheating students among all students and whether there is false information about the reported number.

(第一次作业是，你的一个同组人说你的文章写的很好水平很高，读过后比我想想的还要好很多。文章安排的很好，层层递进，上下文联系紧密。我还从中学到了好多简洁的短语。以后要经常拜读了！建议:如果在文中在添加些批判小的错误点就更完美了。不用另开段落，就加在适当的地方，一句带过。你大体批判了文章中的两个论据，文章还有很多漏洞，比如：.G学校的诚信制度在G学校适用，不一定在所有的学校都适用，把它应用在所有的大学里也许不能起到相同的作用。G在最近一次由G诚信委员会组织的调查，他没有说明调查的目标是否具有可信性，也没有说明调查学生的数目。等等。这样给你评分的老师会感觉你考虑的很完善。因为6分的标准有一条是：逐一分析了argument的特点)