0910G[JUST DO IT] argument173 by dodolulu

dodoluluUID: 2641270

In this passage, the arguer advocates that the magazine should decrease its accentuate on international news and avoid from displaying such stories on its covers . Although this passage might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows



Firstly, the arguer assumes that the front covers of international news stories result in poorest-selling magazine issues. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers no evidence to substantiate this essential assumption. It is very likely that the content of the entire magazine is more connected with the sale of
the magazine .An appropriate example is not very hard to seek. The magazine with splendid cover but having tedious content can’t attract people such like many beauties called “vase”
without knowledge can’t capture men’s hearts forever. The arguer's reasoning is undoubtedly flawed unless the arguer can persuade me that these or other possible scenarios are impossible.



Secondly, the arguer assumes that the actions of these competing news-magazines are right. Nevertheless, the arguer does not supply any evidence to verify this assumption. It is quite possible that the sales of the competitive magazines haven’t increased or they don’t have enough money to report international news， maybe Newsbeat should keep on reporting international news so it can dominate this field, if it can take possession of the field, it can earn more money than now. So the arguer cannot sustain the recommendation without accounting for and ruling out these and other replaceable explanations

The last but not the least, even if the evidence turns out to support the aforementioned assumptions, the arguer just simply assumes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news due to the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news. It is just as possible that the increasing money of profit is more than that of cost, or the cost of maintaining their local bureaus is also increasing because of
the bad economic environment all world. To reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must explain clearly.


In a world, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not based on sound evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a definitive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly and take every possible consideration into account.

chill_lyUID: 2640200

In this passage, the arguer advocates that the magazine should decrease its accentuate on international news and avoiding from displaying such stories on its covers. Although this passage might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows.
Firstly, the arguer assumes that the front covers of international news stories result in poorest-selling magazine issues. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers no evidence to substantiate this essential assumption. It is very likely that the content of the entire magazine is more connected with the sale of the magazine .An appropriate example is not very hard to seek. The magazine with splendid cover but having tedious content cannot(ETS似乎不让写成can’t) attract people such like many beauties called “vase” without knowledge cannot capture men’s hearts forever.(是这样写的么，是的话很不错额) The arguer's reasoning is undoubtedly flawed unless the arguer can persuade me that these or other possible scenarios(似乎不太恰当) are impossible.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that the actions of these competing news-magazines are right. Nevertheless, the arguer does not supply any evidence to verify this assumption. It is quite possible that the sales of the competitive magazines have not increased or they do not have enough money to report international news. Maybe newsbeat (上一句结束了,maybe不能做连词) should keep on reporting international news so it can dominate this field. If it can take possession of the field, it can earn more money than now. So the arguer cannot sustain the recommendation without accounting for and ruling out these and other replaceable explanations.
The last but not the least, even if the evidence turns out to support the aforementioned assumptions, the arguer just simply assumes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news due to the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news. (这里逻辑似乎有点问题,上述假设被证实了那这段的假设就不是just simply assumes,就该算是补充或更多的证据了.)It is just as possible that the increasing money of profit is more than that of cost, or the cost of maintaining their local bureaus is also increasing because of the bad economic environment all over the world. To reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must explain clearly.

In a word, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not based on sound evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is indispensable (想想这句的结构) for a definitive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly and take every possible consideration into account.


A的问题不大,注意下逻辑,不要给别人argue的地方
内容可以再充实地,这篇的攻击点比较多.

1# dodolulu

dodoluluUID: 2641270

谢谢chill-ly的批改
Avoid用错了吗

In this passage, the arguer advocates that the magazine should decrease its accentuate on international news and avoiding from displaying such stories on its covers. Although this passage might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows.
Firstly, the arguer assumes that the front covers of international news stories result in poorest-selling magazine issues. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers no evidence to substantiate this essential assumption. It is very likely that the content of the entire magazine is more connected with the sale of the magazine .An appropriate example is not very hard to seek. The magazine with splendid cover but having tedious content cannot attract people such like many beauties called “vase” without knowledge cannot capture men’s hearts forever. The arguer's reasoning is undoubtedly flawed unless the arguer can persuade me that these or other possible scenarios are impossible.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that the actions of these competing news-magazines are right. Nevertheless, the arguer does not supply any evidence to verify this assumption. It is quite possible that the sales of the competitive magazines have not increased or they do not have enough money to report international news. Maybe newsbeat should keep on reporting international news so it can dominate this field. If it can take possession of the field, it can earn more money than now. So the arguer cannot sustain the recommendation without accounting for and ruling out these and other replaceable explanations.
The last but not the least, the arguer also assumes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news due to the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news. It is just as possible that the increasing money of profit is more than that of cost, or the cost of maintaining their local bureaus is also increasing because of the bad economic environment all over the world. To reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must explain clearly.

In a word, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not based on sound evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is indispensable  for a definitive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly and take every possible consideration into account.

greenxsUID: 2529289

In this passage, the arguer advocates that the magazine should decrease its accentuate on international news and avoiding from这个from是不是不需要加 displaying such stories on its covers. Although this passage might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows.

Firstly, the arguer assumes that the front covers of international news stories result in poorest-selling magazine issues. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers no evidence to substantiate this essential assumption. It is very likely that the content of the entire magazine is more connected with the sale of the magazine .An appropriate example is not very hard to seek. The magazine with splendid cover but having tedious content cannot attract people such like many beauties called “vase” without knowledge cannot capture men’s hearts forever. The arguer's reasoning is undoubtedly flawed unless the arguer can persuade me that these or other possible scenarios are impossible.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that the actions of these competing news-magazines are right. Nevertheless, the arguer does not supply any evidence to verify this assumption. It is quite possible that the sales of the competitive magazines have not increased or they do not have enough money to report international news. Maybe newsbeat should keep on reporting international news so it can dominate this field. If it can take possession of the field, it can earn more money than now. So the arguer cannot sustain the recommendation without accounting for and ruling out these and other replaceable explanations.


The last but not the least, the arguer also assumes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news due to the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news. It is just as possible that the increasing money of profit is more than that of cost, or the cost of maintaining their local bureaus is also increasing because of the bad economic environment all over the world. To reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must explain clearly.

In a word, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not based on sound evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is indispensable for a definitive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly and take every possible consideration into account.

写的不错，我看你有点趋向简洁论述的形式，但是简洁论述的话，它对语言要求很高，比如你中间这三段，每段都是总分总，那可能就会要求有对仗，还有每段之间的呼应。话说的少的话，就会让人注意到这些
3# dodolulu

dodoluluUID: 2641270

谢谢greenxs的批改
还简洁论述呢，这篇a我压了下时间，写的及其简单，不过也给我提供了一种思路，但所谓的简洁论述对语言的要求确实是很高呀，距离我很遥远呀


In this passage, the arguer advocates that the magazine should decrease its accentuate on international news and avoid displaying such stories on its covers. Although this passage might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. The reasons are stated as follows.

Firstly, the arguer assumes that the front covers of international news stories result in poorest-selling magazine issues. Although this is entirely possible, the arguer offers no evidence to substantiate this essential assumption. It is very likely that the content of the entire magazine is more connected with the sale of the magazine .An appropriate example is not very hard to seek. The magazine with splendid cover but having tedious content cannot attract people such like many beauties called “vase” without knowledge cannot capture men’s hearts forever. The arguer's reasoning is undoubtedly flawed unless the arguer can persuade me that these or other possible scenarios are impossible.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that the actions of these competing news-magazines are right. Nevertheless, the arguer does not supply any evidence to verify this assumption. It is quite possible that the sales of the competitive magazines have not increased or they do not have enough money to report international news. Maybe newsbeat should keep on reporting international news so it can dominate this field. If it can take possession of the field, it can earn more money than now. So the arguer cannot sustain the recommendation without accounting for and ruling out these and other replaceable explanations.


The last but not the least, the arguer also assumes that they should decrease their emphasis on international news due to the increasing cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news. It is just as possible that the increasing money of profit is more than that of cost, or the cost of maintaining their local bureaus is also increasing because of the bad economic environment all over the world. To reach the cited conclusion, the arguer must explain clearly.

In a word, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not based on sound evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is indispensable for a definitive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should reason more convincingly and take every possible consideration into account.