0910G【Try Best】第二小组 issue144 by CharlesHu

CharlesHuUID: 2638360

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

Vinci, Shakespeare, some of the most illustrious stars in humanity civilization history, are admired by people in different period and different area for their everlasting works. Today, we may scoff the critics who had profaned these artists’ works; however, in fact, artists and critics are supplement to each other.
It is the creative mind that adds hue to our quotidian life. The art is abstracted from common lives. The arts, which are ever lasting and reflecting the human’s deepest emotion or the issue of period, are humanity invaluable fortune. I have read Shakespeare’s book more than 10 times, engrossed myself in the interesting but thoughtful story, and I had some new understanding about Shakespeare’s abstruse thought every time.
On the other hand, there is nothing perfect in the world. As we known, if we want to supersede the former work, we need learn from the strengths of existed works, what is more important is reviewing the works in a critical way, finding the flaws and correcting them. So, usually, from the critics’ constructive suggestion, the artists can find inspiration and motivation to move forward.
What more, the critics can help the arts of high quality to be known to public through evaluation and awards. For example, the annual Oskar make we familiarize the best movies, Nobel Prize help we know the best books.
In short, the genius artists’ creative thought may be inspirited by the criticism which help the artist promote their work, and the critics can help public understand the artists’ lasting work through their remarks and the evaluation.

Stephy_tUID: 2642952

Vinci, Shakespeare, some of the most illustrious stars in humanity civilization history, are admired by people in different period and different area for their everlasting works. Today, we may scoff the critics who had profaned these artists’ works; however, in fact, artists and critics are supplement to each other.（开头挺好，不拘泥模版而且简洁明了地表明自己观点，但只是表明了你认为的artist和critic的关系，有个很关键的题眼lasting value你没有提）
It is the creative mind that adds hue to our quotidian life. The art is abstracted from common lives. The arts, which are ever lasting and reflecting the human’s deepest emotion or the issue of period, are humanity invaluable fortune. I have read Shakespeare’s book more than 10 times, engrossed myself in the interesting but（建议改成and）thoughtful story, and I had some new understanding about Shakespeare’s abstruse thought every time.（总的来说，你全篇文章字数不够，在这段中还有很大空间加入文字发挥一下。这里你以自己每次读莎士比亚都产生不同感想为例子，你想用这个例子肯定artist的长久价值，最好在这个例子前后加点逻辑铺垫和解释，不然有点唐突。比如说在这个例子后面再叙述，每次新的理解对你有多大升华。人们通过一次次一代代欣赏这种有深度的作品得到了精神怎样的进步等等。这样就更有效果地烘托artist的价值，单说你个人读莎士比亚每次都有不同感受，有点单薄）

On the other hand, there is nothing perfect in the world. As we known, if we want to supersede the former work, we need learn from the strengths of existed works, what is more important is reviewing the works in a critical way, finding the flaws and correcting them. So, usually, from the critics’ constructive suggestion, the artists can find inspiration and motivation to move forward.（还是因为字数不够，你每段叙述虽没大问题，但说服力不够。如果我认为critic没有任何lasting value存在，这段能提出很多疑问。而且你写的时候没有强调出lasting value这个题眼，上段更需要具体的例子来佐证，因为你的主题定位在两者supplement，没有轻重之分的，critic怎么有lasting value了？这点需要明确点出来，这是题眼。）
What more, the critics can help the arts of high quality to be known to public through evaluation and awards. For example, the annual Oskar make we familiarize the best movies, Nobel Prize help we know the best books.
In short, the genius artists’ creative thought may be inspirited by the criticism which help the artist promote their work, and the critics can help public understand the artists’ lasting work through their remarks and the evaluation.

评语：总的来说，你思路很清晰，观点也新颖不刻板，不拘泥模版，但是篇幅不够，审题方面，这个题目的用意不是仅仅是artist 和critic之间的轻重关系，主要讨论lasting value是由谁来创造的。你想说明两个人群都有lasting value，那在这上面可以多点叙述，篇幅还有很大提升空间。缺少明确的结尾。加油！