Argument242=So What=小组第3次作业 by 米丽水

米丽水UID: 2637300

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米丽水UID: 2637300

TOPIC: ARGUMENT242 - The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.

"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year was reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."
WORDS: 226
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-6-8 22:01:29

Outline:
1Contrast
2Survey
1+2——————>should do that?

1Contrast:Groveton's honor codes: it calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated.自己和同学监督作弊曝光的少。这个少是真少吗？报道的案例是被抓的数量。要是同学之间建立包庇行为，作弊表面上看少了，实际上在增多呢；要是使用高科技，同学能看出他们在作弊？即这个同学监督要么看不出来谁在作弊，要么根本是纵容不举报。
Old system: students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year was reported. 老师监督
作弊曝光的多（这个不要攻击，默认）因为攻击的主要是honor codes
2Survey：Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without.
Survey调查的样品足够大吗？取样足够有代表性吗？这两点就够了
总结：要是能更有说服力，还要准备哪些材料。

米丽水UID: 2637300

At first glance, it sounds rational that colleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s to combat rise in cheating just based on the evidence that
there are more cases of cheating in the old-fashioned monitoring system than the honor code system and a survey that conveys a message that honor codes work very well if adopted. However, whether these are pretty successful in convincing these institutions or not is worth to be reconsidered.
Whether the number of cheating cases indeed declined is thought-provoking. Only those who do cheat, get caught by other students, and are notified to a faculty member are taken into account of the cheating cases. In this sense, there are too many doubts about the number of cheating. First, there might exist some examples of students labeled with cheating just due to a slip of look. Second, advanced technique aids students to cheat without identification by others, therefore the actual number of cheating is underestimated. Third, it is questionable that whether the cheaters will still be exposed by others if they forge certain relationship for two side’s sake. So the statistics of the study, reliable and objective as it might be, is not sufficient to buttress the deduction of the author.
In addition, the survey that students will be less cheating with honor codes faces the challenge too. As we all know, a survey is convincing only when it is conducted based on a significantly large sample pool and representatives from aspects as many as possible. This disappointing survey fails to give the exact data on how many students took part. Even if they are enough, there is the possibility that interviewees almost come from a college with well-educational background or from a group who engage themselves in study and seldom cheat. Their response could stand for all? Since the author simply neglects these issues, the survey cited appears to be insufficient to bolster his judgment of students' attitude toward the honor code.
Above all, although the author supplied a seemingly beneficent suggestion of prohibiting students from cheating, his deduction is unreasonable. If there is more need of background investigation that the number of cheating cases was really decreased by the honor code policy, and of concrete information about the participators of the survey, his advice might be acceptable by these institutions.

mqi07UID: 2521740

At first glance, it sounds rational that colleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s to combat rise in cheating just based on the evidence that there are more cases of cheating in the old-fashioned monitoring system than the honor code system and a survey that conveys a message that honor codes work very well if adopted. However, whether these are pretty successful in convincing these institutions or not is worth to be reconsidered.(这个开头好，区别于大众开头了)
Whether the number of cheating cases indeed declined is thought-provoking（哎呀 好词呀）. Only those who do cheat, get caught by other students, and are notified to a faculty member are taken into account of the cheating cases. In this sense, there are too many doubts about the number of cheating（你质疑数字没问题，但你质疑的角度是如何确定number上，这个就不妥。这算是质疑背景，我认为，我们找的是作者的论据对论点在论正上的逻辑错误，你可以质疑说这个数字没有说服性，但它的缺点应该是--仅仅提供了两个数字作者就下结论--这样一个逻辑性的关系上有漏洞，而不应该在被默认的数字上紧追不放。。。就像，你砍树，应该砍主干吧，但你只使劲砍枝叶了，虽然也叫砍树。。。呃，我也是自己的想法，而且言语有点犀利了，多担待哈）. First, there might exist some examples of students labeled with cheating just due to a slip of look（后果呢？话不能说一半，这句不完整）. Second, advanced technique aids students to cheat without identification by others, therefore the actual number of cheating is underestimated（这句就比上一句完整嘛）. Third, it is questionable that whether the cheaters will still be exposed by others if they forge certain relationship for two side’s sake（没明白？？？）. So the statistics of the study, reliable and objective as it might be, is not sufficient to buttress（好词） the deduction of the author（这个句式很好 学习啊）.
In addition, the survey that students will be less cheating（结构似乎不对，改成原文就行） with honor codes faces the challenge（这里不如说是 is doubtable或类似的被动表达，而且 不是面临挑战而是值得怀疑） too. As we all know, a survey is convincing only when it is conducted based on a significantly large sample pool and representatives from aspects as many as possible（这个表达很好 学习）. This disappointing（想表达什么？） survey fails to give the exact data（为了对应上一句 应该加个and range） on how many students took part. (这里有个连接词更好)Even if they are enough, there is the possibility that interviewees almost come from a college with well-educational background or from a group who engage themselves in study(ing )and seldom cheat. Their response could stand for all?(我一直就觉得问句用在argu里不妥，我们是在给别人说理嘛，实在批驳嘛，那就应该直接把话亮出来比较好，而且目前为止我也对这种用法没印象，可以讨论讨论哈) Since the author simply neglects these issues, the survey cited appears to be insufficient to bolster his judgment of（on是够更合适？） students' attitude toward the honor code（这句作为批survey的结尾非常好！！！学习）.
Above all, although the author supplied a seemingly beneficent suggestion of prohibiting students from cheating, his deduction is unreasonable. If there is more need of （need是什么意思？ 改成more about the background...是否更好？）background investigation that the number of cheating cases was really decreased by （加上the application of）the honor code policy, and of concrete information about the participators of the survey, his advice might be acceptable by these institutions(我们帮他改进的目的是让他的论点更reasonable，是他说的就符合逻辑了，而不是别人同意他就代表他的reasonable).

小水的这个可能是和我的论证思路不同，所以我质疑了很多，需要讨论及向前辈请教才好