同主题Argument242 =Auguest rush=小组第一次作业 by yangguang

yangguang_86UID: 2414818

242The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.

"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year were reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."
提纲：
1.首先作者认为G采取新制度导致了上报的作弊量下降。（同时发生错误）其他原因：可能是教学质量好了，题目出简单了，监管放松了。

2.最近的调查有问题：1.调查多少人？多少人回应，是否representative?2意愿不代表实际行动，可能说谎为了继续放松监管。同样，制度要求承诺，可能没意义

3.即使具有一定的好处，作者忽略了，该制度带来的问题：常识告诉我们“怀疑别人作弊就报告”的结果两种：1 同学之间不团结，互相愤恨报复，污蔑，导致混乱 2.达成协议，相互包庇。而这些负面消息，G是否也传出，即使没听说不代表不存在。可能负面效果大于正面效果。

4.即使正面作用大于负面，适合G的，不一定适合其他学校。可能G的生源太好了，别的做不到……

yangguang_86UID: 2414818

正文：
In this editorial, the author recommends that institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s (G),which based on the fact that less students in G were reported cheating after adopting the new system,along with a recent survey about students’ willingness to follow the honor codes.This argument is logically flawed in the main four respects.

The author implies that the new policy is effective to prevent students cheating .He attempts to establish a positive relationship between the dropping figure and the honor codes .However, it’s unfair to assume that the former is attributable to the later, rather than other factors. Perhaps the exciting progress is caused by academic improvements by the efforts of faculty and by financial support to update the researching facilities from alumina .On the other hand ,the easier the exams were, the less headache students felt :then less students disobeyed college's rule .The declining supervise may also attribute to the results .Without accounting for all other explanations,I cannot take the author's implication seriously.

The second problems with the argument involves the reliability of the survey. The author provides no evidence that the number of respondents is statistically significant or the respondents were representative of the students in general .Perhaps only a few top students constitutes the sample .Moreover, willingness as well as promises to agree not to cheat may become fantasy compared with people's deed because people , sometimes to avoid negative effect , hide their original thinking .Lacking evidence that the respondents' report were both truthful and meaningful. The author cannot convince me that the honor codes are that much good.

Furthermore ,the argument assumes that the new system is a positive development in the long run .Yet it is entirely possible that negative effects are more serious than the good ones.Common sense tells that ,"notifying a faculty member if someone was suspected cheating" will lead management chaos such as hatred ,revenge, lack unity even violence among students .Or on the opposite, shielding each other about cheating .No evidence was shown such case did not exist .If so , the recommendation might amount to poor advice .

Even if honor codes brought marvellous progress and little negative effect to G , it does not means that this new system will fit the other institutes.The author rests on the assumption that other is analogous to G in all respects.However, perhaps entire students in G are top students among their ages ,hardworking , talented and promising .They did not need cheating to get the desired results.While it might not be the case in others .Maybe such policy will disturb academic atmosphere in the other place.For that matter, following the recommendation simply cannot achieve the same effect.

In sum , the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumption that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation , the author should provide more information such as the reliability of the survey , whether honor codes is the only reason cause G's result, and whether it suits for other institutions and the like .

echodingdinghUID: 2632612

提纲： 1.首先作者认为G采取新制度导致了上报的作弊量下降。（同时发生错误）其他原因：可能是教学质量好了，题目出简单了，监管放松了。 2.最近的调查有问题：1.调查多少人？多少人回应，是否representative?2意愿不代表实际行动，可能说谎为了继续放松监管。同样，制度要求承诺，可能没意义(这句没看懂) 3.即使具有一定的好处，作者忽略了，该制度带来的问题：常识告诉我们“怀疑别人作弊就报告”的结果两种：1 同学之间不团结，互相愤恨报复，污蔑，导致混乱 2.达成协议，相互包庇。而这些负面消息，G是否也传出，即使没听说不代表不存在。可能负面效果大于正面效果。 4.即使正面作用大于负面，适合G的，不一定适合其他学校。可能G的生源太好了，别的做不到……

正文：
In this editorial(这个词我查到的意思是社论,不知道用在这合适不,我觉得我们大家可以一起总结一些可以替代argument的词), the author recommends that institutionsshould adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s (G)(这种方式在正式考试中可以用吗,还是你是在习作中省事?),whichbased on the fact that less students in G were reported cheating after adoptingthe new system,along with a recent survey about students’ willingness to followthe honor codes.This argument is logically flawed(flaw的用法好像有问题,要么是is flawing要么直接是this argument flaws…) in the main four respects(应该是four main respects吧).

The author implies that the new policy is effective to prevent studentscheating(prevent的用法应该是prevent sb. from doi
ng sth.) .He attempts to establish a positiverelationship between the dropping figure(dropping figure是指考试做弊的学生吗,我个人没见过这个用法哈) and the honor codes .However, it’s unfair to assume thatthe former is attributable to the later, rather than other factors. Perhaps theexciting(感觉这个词用得有点怪,是不是显著之类的更好?)progress is caused by academicimprovements by(貌似应该用with) the efforts of faculty and by financialsupport to update the researching(research就可以了吧) facilities from alumina (氧化铝?).On the other hand ,the easier the exams were, the lessheadache(这个用法感觉太中文了) students felt :then lessstudents disobeyed college's rule .The declining supervise(这里的supervise是动词不可以做主语!)
may also attribute to the results .Without accounting forall other explanations,I cannot take the author's implication seriously.

The second problems with(应该是of吧?)the argument involves the reliability ofthe survey. The author provides no evidence that the number of respondents isstatistically significant or the respondents were representative of thestudents in general .Perhaps only a few top students constitutes(这个动词不用加s,因为前面是students了) the sample .Moreover, willingness as well as promises toagree not to cheat may become fantasy compared with people's deed becausepeople , sometimes to avoid negative effect(应该是sometimes avoiding negativeeffects吧) , hide their original thinking(thoughts是想法的意思) .Lacking evidence that the respondents'report were(was)
both truthful and meaningful.The author cannot convince me that the honor codes are(is) that much good.

Furthermore ,the argument assumes that the new system is a positive developmentin the long run .Yet it is entirely possible that negative effects are moreserious than the good ones.Common sense tells that ,"notifying a facultymember if someone was suspected cheating" will lead management chaos suchas hatred ,revenge, lack unity even violence among students .Or on theopposite, shielding each other about cheating .(这句话连基本的主谓宾都不全)No evidence was shown such case did notexist .(这句像中文)If so, the recommendation might amount
(amount有这样的用法吗)to poor advice .

Even if honor codes brought marvellous progress and little negative effect to G, it does not means that this new system will fit the other institutes.Theauthor rests on the assumption that other is analogous to G in allrespects.However, perhaps entire students in G are top students among theirages ,hardworking , talented and promising .They did not need cheating to getthe desired results.(觉得这个例子举得不恰当,以为题目说得是做弊人数减少而不是做弊人数本来就少.)While it might not be the case in others(other institutes) .Maybe such policy willdisturb academic atmosphere in the other place(这个替换institutes感觉不是特别好,觉得大家可以讨论比较好的词).For that matter, following therecommendation simply cannot achieve the same effect.

In sum , the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumption that renderit unconvincing as it stands. To bolster(这个词是支持与鼓励的意思,感觉support用在这里更好) the recommendation , the author shouldprovide more information such as the reliability of the survey , whether honorcodes is the only reason cause G's result, and whether it suits for otherinstitutions and the like .
1.语法错误较多,英文感觉不是特别美国化.建议加强从句的练习.
2.感觉加一个首段,第二段再开始表述观点比较好.
3.感觉提纲可以写得再规范一点,分清开头,结尾,论点,例子.
4.逻辑上来说感觉还可以,特别是几个即使感觉在逻辑上比较具有说服力,值得学习借鉴.
5.最后再强调一下就是文章的语言!!!希望阳光同学多下功夫提高一下!

改的不恰当的地方希望一起讨论噢!

yangguang_86UID: 2414818

谢谢dingding的帮助，我发现了自己英语的不足，怪不得英语每次都考那点分来着。哦。检查的时候竟然没看出来。汗死了！你的文章我看了，佩服佩服！