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[i习作temp] 0910AW 同主题写作第六期 ISSUE157 by chill_ly [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-22 22:01:56 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 chill_ly 于 2009-6-22 22:04 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE157 - "There is no such thing as purely objective observation. All observation is subjective; it is always guided by the observer's expectations or desires."
WORDS: 517

TIME: 约2h
DATE: 2009/6/21 22:00:41




It is undeniable that in human society, the main body of observation is human beings. So, the observers' values, perspective, experience, expectations and desires could hardly be separated from their observation which means the observation is subjective. While somebody would assert that objective observation do exist, their standards of objectivity can hardly be correspondent. If they want to prove their idea, what is objectivity should be well defined.

However, due to the influence of human mind and the development of modern science, we cannot corroborate that our observation is absolutely objective. As I mentioned, when observing, observers cannot be mind-independent, that is to say, their result is more or less influence by their mind. For instance, while 10 kilometers is a long distance for a pedestrian, it is a piece of cake for a car driver; while a sudden rain is a bad news to those who have to go outside, it is a good one to the farmer after being drought for a long period of time. All these opinions cannot be divided into right or wrong so as to be regarded as objective, since they are judged by different minds. What’s more, if we take the views of science into account, many facts that we think are objective are no longer objective. For example, owing to the discovery of Theory of Relativity, length, mass and other parameters in physics of a certain object which are long being recognized as objective properties are changeable. So, it will be difficult to define the absolute objectivity but on certain premises objectivity do make sense.

In physics, we assert that the movement is absolute; the static is relative. So we can consider that while subjectivity is absolute objectivity is relative. For example, length, mass and other parameters in physics of a certain object are the objective attribute when it is moving in a low velocity (far from the velocity of light). In our daily life, if observation is based on our common sense and is admitted by the majority of people, we can recognize it as objective. For the same reason we can regard law as relatively objective since it is based on the public’s will except for those thoughts of rulers. In this way, objectivity is defined.

Finally, the opinion of all observation is subjective is true, but we can agree that some observation is relatively objective based on the definition above. It is meaningless to stress that all observation is subjective is true seriously since in daily life we would be likely to receive the perspective that the Earth is round or an object is what it is from our observation. All those ideas can be recognized as common sense and if we break them, it may result in disorder in the public’ mind and cannot be well admitted.

In conclusion, when we observe something, in most cases, we have certain purpose which makes the observation deviated from objective. But such deviation is acceptable and sometimes negligible and we can recognize the observation is objective which is correspond to our basic knowledge and somewhat ideal but agreeable.

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发表于 2009-6-24 23:54:54 |显示全部楼层
It is undeniable that in human society, the main body of observation is human beings. So, the observers' values, perspective, experience, expectations and desires could hardly be separated from their observation which means the observation is subjective(非限定性的定语从句which前用逗号隔开). While somebody would assert that objective observation do exist, their standards of objectivity can hardly be correspondent(这里这个词什么意思,一致的?). If they want to prove their idea, what is objectivity should be well defined.

However, due to the influence of human mind and the development of modern science, we cannot corroborate that our observation is absolutely objective. As I mentioned, when observing, observers cannot be mind-independent, that is to say, their result is more or less influenced by their mind. For instance, while 10 kilometers is a long distance for a pedestrian, it is a piece of cake for a car driver; while a sudden rain is a bad news to those who have to go outside, it is a good one to the farmer after being drought for a long period of time. All these opinions cannot be divided into right or wrong so as to be regarded as objective, since they are judged by different minds. What’s more, if we take the views of science into account, many facts that we think are objective are no longer objective. For example, owing to the discovery of Theory of Relativity, length, mass and other parameters in physics of a certain object which are long being recognized as objective properties are changeable. So, it will be difficult to define the absolute objectivity but on certain premises objectivity do make sense.(怎么感觉有点突兀,是想引出下一段么,感觉这样处理有些风险)


In physics, we assert that the movement is absolute; the static is relative. So we can consider that while subjectivity is absolute objectivity is relative.(个人觉得这个类比论证有点。。。不知道考官会不会赞同,不过咋一看还挺有意思的) For example, length, mass and other parameters in physics of a certain object are the objective attribute when it is moving in a low velocity (far from the velocity of light). In our daily life, if observation is based on our common sense and is admitted by the majority of people, we can recognize it as objective. For the same reason we can regard law as relatively objective since it is based on the public’s will except for those thoughts of rulers. In this way, objectivity is defined.

Finally, the opinion of all observation is subjective is true, but we can agree that some observation is relatively objective based on the definition above. It is meaningless to stress that all observation is subjective is true seriously(这句话从句怎么出现这么多be 动词?)since in daily life we would be likely to receive the perspective that the Earth is round or an object is what it is from our observation. All those ideas can be recognized as common sense and if we break them, it may result in disorder in the public’ mind and cannot be well admitted.

In conclusion, when we observe something, in most cases, we have certain purpose which makes the observation deviated from objective. But such deviation is acceptable and sometimes negligible and we can recognize the observation is objective which is correspondent to our basic knowledge and somewhat ideal but agreeable. 1# chill_ly

文章的观点是基本同意观察都是主观的说法,但一些不完全客观的观察也有实际意义。
整体的感觉文章用了太多折中的口吻,比如说倒数第二段的最后一句,听起来像是因为维护常识才不得不接受不客观的观察。
另外有个问题我想说一下:对主观观察的理解,比如说相对论里的低速和高速问题属于主观观察的范畴吗,文章好像说到一些对客观的偏离可以忽略,怎么感觉像是把科学里的近似处理等价成了主观啊?

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发表于 2009-6-27 10:15:08 |显示全部楼层
It is undeniable that in human society, the main body of observation is human beings. So, the observers' values, perspective, experience, expectations and desires could hardly be separated from their observation which means the observation is subjective. While somebody would assert that objective observation do exist, their standards of objectivity can hardly be correspondent. If they want to prove their idea, what is objectivity should be well defined.(主观和客观之间的争论点,对相互进行了定义)

However, (上下没有转折的关系吧,不是很恰当)due to the influence of human mind and the development of modern science, we cannot corroborate that our observation is absolutely objective(现代科技的发展和绝对客观之间的联系?). As I mentioned, when observing, observers cannot be mind-independent, that is to say, their result is more or less influence(influenced) by their mind. For instance, while 10 kilometers is a long distance for a pedestrian, it is a piece of cake for a car driver; while a sudden rain is a bad news to those who have to go outside, it is a good one to the farmer after being drought for a long period of time. All these opinions cannot be divided into right or wrong so as to be regarded as objective, since they are judged by different minds. What’s more, if we take the views of science into account, many facts that we think are objective are no longer objective. For example, owing to the discovery of Theory of Relativity, length, mass and other parameters in physics of a certain object which are long being recognized as objective properties are changeable. So, it will be difficult to define the absolute objectivity but on certain premises objectivity do make sense.(由于许多新的定理的发现,原先绝对客观的事物也在变化,很不错的观点)In physics, we assert that the movement is absolute; the static is relative.(运动是绝对的,静止时相对的,推出主观是绝对的,客观是相对的,呵呵,不错!) So we can consider that while subjectivity is absolute objectivity is relative. For example, length, mass and other parameters in physics of a certain object are the objective attribute when it is moving in a low velocity (far from the velocity of light). In our daily life, if observation is based on our common sense and is admitted by the majority of people, we can recognize it as objective. For the same reason we can regard law as relatively objective since it is based on the public’s will except for those thoughts of rulers. In this way, objectivity is defined(对客观下定义).

Finally, the opinion of all observation is subjective is true, but we can agree that some observation is relatively objective based on the definition above. It is meaningless to stress that all observation is subjective is true seriously since in daily life we would be likely to receive the perspective that the Earth is round or an object is what it is from our observation. All those ideas can be recognized as common sense and if we break them, it may result in disorder in the public’ mind and cannot be well admitted.

In conclusion, when we observe something, in most cases, we have certain purpose which makes the observation deviated from objective. But such deviation is acceptable and sometimes negligible and we can recognize the observation is objective which is correspond to our basic knowledge and somewhat ideal but agreeable.
整个文章的行文读起来很舒服,但觉得文章结构不够清晰,论点也不够鲜明
第四段的表达不是很清楚,读完之后感觉很绕,可以改善一下。
很不错,加油啊!

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RE: 0910AW 同主题写作第六期 ISSUE157 by chill_ly [修改]

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