同主题ARGUMENT65 =August Rush=小组第2次作业 by 尾羽

尾羽UID: 2482591

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States."For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

分析：
1.结论：
为了增加利润，所有店要中断进口奶酪的储备，主营国产奶酪，
2.support:
（1）去年在最新开的店里，五种最好卖的奶酪，都是国产自威斯康辛州的。
（2）CW杂志的survey显示其读者表示出了对国产奶酪更多的偏好。

提纲：
1.
完全没有给出任何关于进口奶酪的信息与国产奶酪的情况作对比，也许进口奶酪的销售量也在逐年攀升或者偏爱的人数也在增加。

2. s1不能说明国产奶酪能在全国所有店铺里都卖的好。
（1）可能这家店新开张，对这5款来自威斯康辛州的奶酪搞了长时间的大特价
（2）这家新店也许就在威斯康辛，本地顾客只喜欢当地生产的口味。

3. S2 是通过survey对结论的无理推论
（1）大多数吃奶酪的人根本不看CW;CW的杂志的发行受地域限制，恰巧它发行的那些地方的读者很多都是国产奶酪的消费者
（2）也许CW的读者本身都是中低收入人群，价格较低廉的国产奶酪越来越受到他们的欢迎。

尾羽UID: 2482591

In this memo, the president of countrywide cheese stores argues that imported cheeses should be replaced by domestic cheeses for stock,in order to improve profits in all of their stores.To confirm this recommendation,the president offers two facts that five varieties of domestic cheeses from Wisconsin was sold best at their newest store last year,and that a rencent survey shows that more and more subscribes from Cheese of the World magazine enthuse over domestic cheeses.nevertheless,the evidence lends little credible support to the recommendation.
       
First of all, the president do not provide any comparision about sales achievement between imported cheeses and domestic ones,even in a single store.That is the essential problem appeared in the memo to suspect the recommendation.For instance,there might be entirely possible that the amount of sold imported cheeses are increasing either,more and more people like to choose imported cheeses in all over the country.

Additionally, a one-year period is not a particularly long time frame for the president to determine that the five kinds of best-selling cheeses at the newest store could also be best in chain stores all over the country.It is possible that for the new-opening store,these cheeses from Wisconsin was priced at the promotion rate in entire last year.Or,maybe the newest store was located in Wisconsin,the flavor of local cheeses was the exclusive enthusiasm to the native residents.Thus, the president would conduct nothing but fallacies, if he or she ignores that consumers' likability of domestic cheeses might have many differences in regional price,taste,customers and so on.

Ultimately, there is no evidence to convince that the recent survey by the Cheese of the World magazine is a powerful persuasion to the conclusion.Firstly,are most of people who eat cheeses would read the Cheese of the World magazine? Similarly,in other hand,the buyers of ‘Cheese of the world’ may live in certain states in which people are fans of domesitc cheeses by coincidence.Another possibility is that most of the readers are wage-earner who cannot afford the expensive imported cheeseds. In another word, without any information about subscribers investigated by the magazine,we cannot implicity their representative role for all consumers.

In conclusion, to persuade me that the best way to improve the profits in all chain stores is to lack stocking imported cheeses and focus on domestic ones,the president must offer more convinced evidence like some below.An authoritative survey shows that the circumstance of domestic cheeses selling is overwhelmingly better than imported ones in all over the country.The sum of the domestic consumers is increasing dramatically while sum of imported ones is descending in America.

wisleUID: 2578616

字数451
In this memo, the president of countrywide cheese stores argues (来自于president的memo不一定就是他提出来的，所以这样不妥，直接有the arguer affirms )that imported cheeses should be replaced by domestic cheeses for stock, in order to improve profits in all of their stores(建议放在句前). To confirm this recommendation（个人感觉表推荐信之类的，不如用suggestion更贴切）, the president offers two facts that five varieties of domestic cheeses from Wisconsin was sold best（were best-sellings） at their newest store last year, and that a recent survey shows that more and more subscribes from（of）Cheese of the World magazine enthuse over domestic cheeses. Nevertheless, the evidence lends little credible support（few credible supports） to the recommendation.
              
First of all, the president does not provide any comparision about sales achievement between imported cheeses and domestic ones, even（rather than） in a single store. That is the essential problem appeared in the memo（,in the memo, leads） to suspect the recommendation. For instance, there might be entirely possible that the amount of sold imported cheeses are increasing either, more and more people like to choose imported cheeses in all over the country.

Additionally, a one-year period is not a particularly long time frame for(这类观点我没想过，呵呵...) the president to determine that the five kinds of best-selling cheeses at the newest store could also be best in chain stores all over the country. It is possible that for the new-opening store, these cheeses from Wisconsin were priced at the promotion rate (sold at a discount) in entire last year. Or, maybe the newest store was located in Wisconsin, the flavor of local cheeses was the exclusive enthusiasm to the native residents(错的辩驳，但你的表达似乎有点问题？). Thus, the president would conduct nothing but fallacies, if he or she ignores that consumers’ likability（preference） of domestic cheeses might have many differences in regional price, taste, customers and so on.

Ultimately, there is no evidence to convince that the recent survey by the Cheese of the World magazine is a powerful persuasion to the conclusion. Firstly, are most of people who eat cheeses would read the Cheese of the World magazine? Similarly, in other hand, the buyers of ‘Cheese of the world’ may live in certain states in which people are fans of domestic cheeses by coincidence. Another possibility is that most of the readers are wage-earner who cannot afford the expensive imported cheeses. In another word, without any information about subscribers investigated by the magazine, we cannot imply their representative role for all consumers.

In conclusion, to persuade me that the best way to improve the profits in all chain stores is to lack（deduct） stocking imported cheeses and focus on domestic ones, the president must offer more convinced evidence like some below.An authoritative survey shows that the circumstance of domestic cheeses selling is overwhelmingly better than imported ones in all over the country. The sum of the domestic consumers is increasing dramatically while sum of imported ones is descending in America.

Mason.PDUID: 2592013

In this memo, the president of countrywide cheese stores argues that imported cheeses should be replaced by domestic cheeses for stock,in order to improve profits in all of their stores.To confirm this recommendation(这个recommendation的用法我没见过 推荐？),the president offers two facts that five varieties of domestic cheeses from Wisconsin was sold best at their newest store last year,and that a rencent survey shows that more and more subscribes from Cheese of the World magazine enthuse over domestic cheeses.nevertheless,the evidence lends little credible support to the recommendation.

First of all, the president do not provide any comparision about sales achievement between imported cheeses and domestic ones,even in a single store.That is the essential problem appeared in the memo to suspect the recommendation.For instance,there might be entirely possible that the amount of sold imported cheeses are increasing either(为什么不是too？),more and more people like to choose imported cheeses in all over the country.

Additionally, a one-year period is not a particularly long time frame for the president to determine that the five kinds of best-selling cheeses at the newest store could also be best in chain stores all over the country.It is possible that for the new-opening store,these cheeses from Wisconsin was priced at the promotion rate in entire last year.Or,maybe the newest store was located in Wisconsin,the flavor of local cheeses was the exclusive enthusiasm to the native residents.Thus, the president would conduct nothing but fallacies, if he or she ignores that consumers' likability of domestic cheeses might have many differences in regional price,taste,customers and so on.

Ultimately, there is no evidence to convince that the recent survey by the Cheese of the World magazine is a powerful persuasion to the conclusion.Firstly,are most of people who eat cheeses would read the Cheese of the World magazine? Similarly,in other hand,the buyers of ‘Cheese of the world’ may live in certain states in which people are fans of domesitc cheeses by coincidence.Another possibility is that most of the readers are wage-earner who cannot afford the expensive imported cheeseds. In another word, without any information about subscribers investigated by the magazine,we cannot implicity their representative role for all consumers.

In conclusion, to persuade me that the best way to improve the profits in all chain stores is to lack stocking imported cheeses and focus on domestic ones,the president must offer more convinced evidence like some below.An authoritative survey shows that the circumstance of domestic cheeses selling is overwhelmingly (这个词有点过)better than imported ones in all over the country.The sum of the domestic consumers is increasing dramatically while sum of imported ones is descending in America.这边还缺对那个杂志调查的表述。。比如加上一句The arguer should provide more detail about the authority of "Cheese of the world" and the backgrounds of the subscribers.

我简单说几句啊
那个 你的每个例证之间没有过渡句子（不过貌似我也米有）
我现在觉得A考逻辑考得很重要 你可以在每句段落的开头加上让步句子
比如第二段 Additionally，even assuming....,the auguer still....
我自己也在试着这样写 你觉得呢