0910AW 同主题写作第四期 Issue144/143 by 辰[Co]

missingusaUID: 2625832

144: It is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value.
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Since I definite “lasting value” as such kind of spirits as being brave, inflexible, optimistic, etc. Undoubtedly these spirits are able to make most of the people form a positive attitude towards various patterns of life full of thorns, I guarantee, throughout the entire human race and thus do good to establish a society of harmony, I completely agree with the speaker while I believe that it is exactly the artists themselves who give society something of lasting value..

For example, one of the most famous writers, Helen Keller, started her life with the disability of seeing, listening and speaking; Claude Monet painted gorgeous “Water Lilies” while suffering from the sorrow of his second wife’s as well as his forty-seven-year-old son’s leaving in his eighties; J.S. Bach, losing his mother and thus became an orphan at the age of ten, finally achieved prominent success of music. These three artists’ formidable characteristics including bravery, stalwartness, persistence, may probably create righteous influence, at least, on me.

Let’s take a deep look at the case of Helen Keller. When she was 19 months old, a certain disease called scarlet fever resulted in her turning into deaf and blind and shortly thereafter she lost the ability to express language, what made the matter worse. However, this tenacious girl never gave up her life in the dark and lonely world. I still remember how I was surprised at a story told by my English teacher when I was in primary school that little Helen had ever spent three whole days just to learn how to write the word “water” and absolutely shocked by hearing the “news” that she even published a book named << Three Days to See >>. This was my first time having been so closed to this female writer filled with intelligence and bravery. Years have passed but such kind of feelings are still bringing me an impulse to keep striving hard against all odds on every aspect of my life.

Nevertheless, critics are not without a single redeeming feature.

As critics usually have a much narrower gap with the public and largely represent the common taste of a certain age in the long course of human race, the value created by them, which mainly refers to what they have discovered in artworks, is more inclined to be “far-reaching” instead of “lasting”. For instance, the opuses composed by Bach had not been paid much attention to by those critics while various genres of music mushroomed lively at the same time and yet retrained for a long period of time ironically until he passed away. It was likely that in this society more innovative things were demanded particularly by the critics as well as most people.

This fact, on some degree, may suggest that the value given by the critics is sort of being with the times of possibly influenced by time spirits. On the contrary, the spirit emitted by Bach insisting on pursuing his perfect music may appear to be lasting in this world and inspire people of different fields.

The global economic crisis now has confronted us again. I can see vividly that we are making great efforts just like Helen Keller, J.S. Bach do in their lifetime to recover from it as soon as we can and I believe, we are right here creating a certain value of LASTING that will be definitely transmitted to our children, and our children’s children….

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I143: " 143.Artists should pay little attention to their critics. *Criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity."
*those who evaluate works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
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Thesis statement:
disagree. artists should listen to the critique and adopt some of the comments selectively.
that is to say, being absorbed in the words from those critics owning such charaters as objective, sincere, righteous, incisive, logical, etc.

Topic sentences:
1. it's the critics who select and show us which kind of art works should be respected and worth appreciating
2. make us understand art works more thoroughly, insightful and investicate such things beyond art itself
3. artists also need crtitics to force them to keep minds creative so as to create profound works or even awake them from being dried up and bourgeois

Conclusion:
citics play an important role binding the public and the artists together
they guide the public and stressing the artists thus they contribute to the existence of pure and true art.

missingusaUID: 2625832

31"Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.”
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Outline:
Thesis statement: agree. Define “controversial” as people are not able to assure whether the results of the researches can be foreseen or not. If we ban such researches just because they are controversial, we may never discover new things, thus we are not able to make progress on development in any field.

Topic sentences:
1. most researches are always controversial at the very beginning
2. positive results, X-ray
3. even failures of researches have some positive effects, Nobel

Conclusion: definitely good. We human beings tend to be aggressive.
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157"There is no such thing as purely objective observation. All observation is subjective; it is always guided by the observer's expectations or desires."
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Outline:
Thesis statement: do not agree thoroughly.

Topic sentences:
1. observation in the field of art, society, even law (America---Taiwan)may be kind of subjective.
2. observation in the field of technology is probably not.

Conclusion: observation may both be objective and subjective as the cases asserted above
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218"In order for any work of art—whether film, literature, sculpture, or a song—to have merit, it must be understandable to most people."
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Outline:
Thesis statement: disagree. Art works indicates artists own emotion, thoughts, inspirations, etc. probably beyond the present time and it exactly is the origin of our discovering new things from these works thus we are able to find out something valuable to the human race.

Topic sentences:
1.  to create such art works as an easy thing to be understood by most people is rather difficult
2.  such criterion as it may probably restrain the creativity of the artists
3.  in my opinion, to make these works to be understood by the public is exactly why the critics exist in this world

Conclusion: instead of trite, bourgeois art works which can be understood by most of us, we prefer those works that challenge our minds and conventions. And undoubtedly our society was, is, and will be benefitted by it as such works can keep our minds new, acute, aggressive, inspired, etc and thus lead a life of virtual.

心过有痕UID: 2640823

Since I definite “lasting value” as such kind of spirits as being brave, inflexible, optimistic, etc. Undoubtedly these spirits are able to make most of the people【most people吧，你有没有特指，用the干嘛啊】 form a positive attitude towards various patterns of life full of thorns, I guarantee, throughout the entire human race【可以搭配吗？我拿不准】 and thus do good to establish a society of harmony,【。】 I completely agree with the speaker while I believe that it is exactly the artists themselves who give society something of lasting value..

For example, one of the most famous writers, Helen Keller, started her life with the disability of seeing, listening and speaking; Claude Monet painted gorgeous “Water Lilies” while suffering from the sorrow of his second wife’s as well as his forty-seven-year-old son’s leaving in his eighties; J.S. Bach, losing his mother and thus became an orphan at the age of ten, finally achieved prominent success of music. These three artists’ formidable characteristics including bravery, stalwartness, persistence, may probably create righteous influence, at least, on me.

Let’s take a deep look at the case of Helen Keller. When she was 19 months old, a certain disease called scarlet fever resulted in her turning into deaf and blind and shortly thereafter she lost the ability to express language, what made the matter worse. However, this tenacious girl never gave up her life in the dark and lonely world. I still remember how I was surprised at a story told by my English teacher when I was in primary school that little Helen had ever spent three whole days just to learn how to write the word “water” and absolutely shocked by hearing the “news” that she even published a book named << Three Days to See >>. This was my first time having【完成时态，你可以去查查，我也是查出来的，first time+完成时态，写全了就是It was my first time that I had been ……】 been so closed to this female writer filled with intelligence and bravery. Years have passed but such kind of feelings are still bringing me an impulse to keep striving hard against all odds on every aspect of my life.

Nevertheless, critics are not without a single redeeming feature. 【我没看懂，without不是状语吗，怎么跟be后面了，而且意思我也没看懂】

As critics usually have a much narrower gap with the public and largely represent the common taste of a certain age in the long course of human race, the value created by them, which mainly refers to what they have discovered in artworks, is more inclined to be “far-reaching” instead of “lasting”. For instance, the opuses composed by Bach had not been paid much attention to by those critics while various genres of music mushroomed lively at the same time and yet retrained for a long period of time ironically until he passed away. It was likely that in this society more innovative things were demanded particularly by the critics as well as most people.

This fact, on【是不是to，查不到on的用法】 some degree, may suggest that the value given by the critics is sort of being with the times or possibly influenced by time spirits. On the contrary, the spirit emitted by Bach is 【少了个be动词吧】insisting on pursuing his perfect music may【不要用may了吧，你证明自己的想法还用may啊】 appear to be lasting in this world and inspire people of different fields.

The global economic crisis now has confronted us again. I can see vividly that we are making great efforts just like Helen Keller, J.S. Bach do in their lifetime to recover from it as soon as【我理解不了，as soon as一……就……，我解释不通顺啊】 we can and I believe, we are right here creating a certain value【作文指定是artists。你是吗？跑题了吧】 of LASTING that will be definitely transmitted to our children, and our children’s children….

你的作文语法问题很少了，中间的例子是不是借鉴了啊，写得不错，很流畅，意思表达的清楚，但是我感觉好像论述的单薄了一点，这个题不好写就在这里了，论据不好说。还有结尾跑题了，写到你自己那里去了，结尾和开头一定要点题，结尾要在主题上升华一下，不能只是简单的重复开头的主题， 我忘了在哪个帖子上看到的，据说开头和结尾要这样写。至于论据，我的文章也很单薄，就是想不到，郁闷了。

missingusaUID: 2625832

修改:

144: It is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value.

第一段:定义lasting value,给出TS
第二段:举例
第三段:对其中一个例子展开
第四段:一句话过渡
第五段:岔开来举例浅谈critics的特点
第六段:critics特点总结+回到TS
第七段:联系实际
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Since I definite “lasting value” as such kind of spirits as being brave, inflexible, optimistic, etc. that are undoubtedly able to make most people form a positive attitude towards various patterns of life full of thorns, I guarantee, throughout the entire human race and thus do good to establish a society of harmony, I completely agree with the speaker while I believe that it is exactly the artists themselves who give society something of lasting value..(第一段贴上去的时候句子本来就错了,尴尬...)

For example, one of the most famous writers, Helen Keller, started her life with the disability of seeing, listening and speaking; Claude Monet painted gorgeous “Water Lilies” while suffering from the sorrow of his second wife’s as well as his forty-seven-year-old son’s leaving in his eighties; J.S. Bach, losing his mother and thus became an orphan at the age of ten, finally achieved prominent success of music. These three artists’ formidable characteristics including bravery, stalwartness, persistence, may probably create righteous influence, at least, on me.

Let’s take a deep look at the case of Helen Keller. When she was 19 months old, a certain disease called scarlet fever resulted in her turning into deaf and blind and shortly thereafter she lost the ability to express language, what made the matter worse. However, this tenacious girl never gave up her life in the dark and lonely world. I still remember how I was surprised at a story told by my English teacher when I was in primary school that little Helen had ever spent three whole days just to learn how to write the word “water” and absolutely shocked by hearing the “news” that she even published a book named "Three Days to See". It was my first time that I had been so closed to this female writer filled with intelligence and bravery. Years have passed but such kind of feelings are still bringing me an impulse to keep striving hard against all odds on every aspect of my life.

Nevertheless, critics are not without a single redeeming feature.

As critics usually have a much narrower gap with the public and largely represent the common taste of a certain age in the long course of human race, the value created by them, which mainly refers to what they have discovered in artworks, is more inclined to be “far-reaching” instead of “lasting”. For instance, the opuses composed by Bach had not been paid much attention to by those critics while various genres of music mushroomed lively at the same time and yet retrained for a long period of time ironically until he passed away. It was likely that in this society more innovative things were demanded particularly by the critics as well as most people.

This fact, to some degree, may suggest that the value given by the critics is sort of being with the times or possibly influenced by time spirits. On the contrary, the spirit emitted by Bach's insisting on pursuing his perfect music probably appear to be lasting in this world and inspire people of different fields endlessly.

The global economic crisis now has confronted us again. I can see vividly that we are making great efforts just like Helen Keller, J.S. Bach do in their lifetime to recover from it as soon as we can and I believe, we are right here creating a certain value that is LASTING and will be definitely transmitted to our children, and our children’s children….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I143: " 143.Artists should pay little attention to their critics. *Criticism tends to undermine and constrain the artist's creativity."
*those who evaluate works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thesis statement:
disagree. artists should listen to the critique and adopt some of the comments selectively.
that is to say, being absorbed in the words from those critics owning such charaters as objective, sincere, righteous, incisive, logical, etc.

Topic sentences:
1. it's the critics who select and show us which kind of art works should be respected and worth appreciating
2. make us understand art works more thoroughly, insightful and investicate such things beyond art itself
3. artists also need crtitics to force them to keep minds creative so as to create profound works or even awake them from being dried up and bourgeois

Conclusion:
citics play an important role binding the public and the artists together
they guide the public and stressing the artists thus they contribute to the existence of pure and true art.