0910G 同主题写作第八期 Issue221

pirate_007UID: 2626667

本人的到目前为止感觉还拿得出来的作文，请大家指教！！！

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 561
TIME: 02:30:00
DATE: 2009-6-23 21:32:18

The speaker claims that the primary benefit of studying history is to reveal that basic human nature stays forever and it’s illusionary that people in different periods of times vary. Although I concede that some basic human nature --- aggressiveness, greediness, fear, selfishness and so forth --- remain unchanged and historic research on them can give us deeper insight towards some social and individual problems. However, differences among people of different ages do exist, for example perception of life, conception of moral and society, attitudes toward marriage vary from ages to ages. Studying of the changing aspects can also benefit our society. More important, the most serious defect in the speaker’s statement, in my opinion, is overlooking other equally, even more significant benefits of studying history.

Admittedly, studying and understanding of the eternal human basic nature through history research, holds significant values and benefits on our society. In fact, many serious problems, conflicts that hang over our history, for instance, wars and criminations, are rooted in our basic instinct. Only when we understand the roles of our basic instinct plays through history study, can we alleviate, even get rid of the potential damages of those problems. For example, through study of history, we now understand human aggressiveness in our basic nature, accumulating in our body without releasing, will eventually play quite an important role in arousing wars and blooded conflicts. That’s why we now hold so many sports competitions and they do really contribute to more peaceful world.



However beneficial studying of unchanged human basic nature is, it cannot obscure and shed the glory of other equally or even more important benefits of studying history. For example, the great leaders, scientist, artist in history who weathered plight and succeed eventually provides great inspiration for ordinary people to conquer failure, frustration and pain, realizing their dreams. History, through appreciating glorious human behaviors like braveness, rectitude, and charity, and depreciating notorious behaviors like brutality, stupid arrogance and greediness provides moral contemplations and appeals individuals to act as responsible person. Besides, history also teaches us how our nation is formed, how it evolves and what glories it have made, all of which will give its people a strong sense of nation and will ultimately benefit the cohesion and harmony of this nation. Personally, I think all these are quite important, at least no less than the benefits of studying the unchanged human natures.


Besides, my second contention lies in the speaker’s claim that it’s an illusion that people in different historic periods vary. According to historic research, we could easily find that there are great differences among people in different ages, no matter in terms of traditions, culture, philosophical conception, values and attitudes, religious belief. Understanding such changing aspects in history also can benefit our society. Consider the historic study of marriage. Through extensive research on the history of marriage, how and why it evolve, especially comparing the differences of marriage in different periods, can greatly improve our understanding of marriage and recognize the hidden factors that contribute to serious marriage problem in our contemporary society.


In sum, it's unfair to narrow the benefits of studying history on just exploring constant human nature. History provides other equally or more important benefit towards our society. In addition, great differences among people in different periods do exist and studying of them can also benefit our society.

wuliangjieericUID: 2539458

we now understand human aggressiveness in our basic nature, accumulating in our body without releasing, will eventually play quite an important role in arousing wars and blooded conflicts. That’s why we now hold so many sports competitions and they do really contribute to more peaceful world.（这个例子好像欠妥当，一般说体育竞技的目的是挑战人类极限，更高更快更强，释放人心中的aggressiveness好像只是极少的体育运动项目吧）

cherryliuliliUID: 2634770

1# pirate_007
TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 561
TIME: 02:30:00
DATE: 2009-6-23 21:32:18
The speaker claims that the primary benefit of studying history is to reveal that basic human nature stays forever and it’s illusionary that people in different periods of times vary. Although I concede that some basic human nature --- aggressiveness, greediness, fear, selfishness and so forth --- remain unchanged and historic research on them can give us deeper insight towards some social and individual problems. However, differences among people of different ages do exist, for example perception of life, conception of moral and society, attitudes toward marriage vary from ages to ages. Studying of the changing aspects can also benefit our society. More important, the most serious defect in the speaker’s statement, in my opinion, is overlooking other equally, even more significant benefits of studying history.
Admittedly, studying and understanding of the eternal human basic nature through history research, holds significant values and benefits on our society. In fact, many serious problems, conflicts that hang over our history, for instance, wars and criminations(改为crimes要好一些), are rooted in our basic instinct. Only when we understand the roles of our basic instinct plays through history study, can we alleviate, even get rid of the potential damages of those problems. For example, through study of history, we now understand human aggressiveness in our basic nature, (which)accumulating (accumulated)in our body without releasing,(and perhaps) will eventually play quite an important role in arousing wars and blooded conflicts. That’s why we now hold so many sports competitions and they do really contribute to （build a）more peaceful world.（个人觉得逻辑好像有问题，hold sports competions与release anger等好像扯上关系很牵强。可以举其它列子来说明）


However(the) beneficial studying of unchanged human basic nature is, it cannot obscure and shed the glory of other equally or even more important benefits of studying history（没看懂）. For example, the great leaders, scientist, artist in history who weathered plight(个人觉得用weathered storms要好点) and succeed eventually provides（providing） great inspiration for ordinary people to conquer failure, frustration and pain, realizing(to realize) their dreams. History, through appreciating glorious human behaviors like braveness, rectitude, and charity（可能用benevolence要好点）, and depreciating notorious behaviors like brutality, stupid arrogance and greediness provides moral contemplations and appeals individuals to act as responsible person. Besides, history also teaches us how our nation is formed, how it evolves and what glories it have made, all of which will give its people a strong sense of nation and will ultimately benefit the cohesion and harmony of this nation(which nation are we talking about here？呵呵). Personally, I think all these are quite important, at least no less than the benefits of studying the unchanged human natures. （这段说理还可以，但逻辑衔接还需注意哈）

Besides, my second contention lies in the speaker’s claim that it’s an illusion that people in different historic periods vary. According to historic research, we could easily find that there are great differences among people in different ages, no matter（去掉） in terms of traditions, culture, philosophical conception, values and attitudes, religious belief. Understanding such changing aspects in history also can benefit our society. Consider the historic study of marriage. Through extensive research on the history of marriage, how and why it evolve, especially comparing the differences of marriage in different periods, can greatly improve our understanding of marriage and recognize the hidden factors that contribute to serious marriage problem in our contemporary society.


In sum, it's unfair to narrow the benefits of studying history on just exploring constant human nature. History provides other equally or more important benefit towards our society. In addition, great differences among people in different periods do exist and studying of them can also benefit our society.

个人觉得说理很多，但缺乏实证。思路可以，但缺乏支撑。还有注意句子间的逻辑哈。

cherryliuliliUID: 2634770

不好意思那些改的东西，从word上粘贴到论坛上就变成了上面那样

dedjeUID: 2500433

The speaker claims that the primary benefit of studying history is to reveal that basic human nature stays forever and it’s illusionary that people in different periods of times vary. Although I concede that some basic human nature --- aggressiveness, greediness, fear, selfishness and so forth --- remain unchanged and historic research on them can give us deeper insight towards some social and individual problems. However, differences among people of different ages do exist, for example perception of life, conception of moral and society, attitudes toward marriage vary from ages to ages. Studying of the changing aspects can also benefit our society. More important, the most serious defect in the speaker’s statement, in my opinion, is overlooking other equally, even more significant benefits of studying history.

Admittedly, studying and understanding of the eternal human basic nature through history research, holds significant values and benefits on our society. In fact, many serious problems, (and)conflicts that hang over our history, for instance, wars and criminations, are rooted in our basic instinct. （这句感觉很多不必要的逗号。）Only when we understand the roles of our basic instinct plays through history study, can we alleviate, even get rid of the potential damages of those problems. For example, through study of history, we now understand human aggressiveness in our basic nature, accumulating in our body without releasing, will eventually play quite an important role in arousing wars and blooded conflicts. That’s why we now hold so many sports competitions and they do really contribute to more peaceful world.（据我阅读其他文章，每段的最后都应该有个总结来表明你这段的观点。）



However beneficial studying of unchanged human basic nature is, it cannot obscure and shed the glory of other equally or even more important benefits of studying history. For example, the great leaders, scientist, artist in history who weathered plight and succeed eventually provides great inspiration for ordinary people to conquer failure, frustration and pain, realizing their dreams. History, through appreciating glorious human behaviors like braveness, rectitude, and charity, and depreciating notorious behaviors like brutality, stupid arrogance and greediness provides moral contemplations and appeals individuals to act as responsible person. Besides, history also teaches us how our nation is formed, how it evolves and what glories it have made, all of which will give its people a strong sense of nation and will ultimately benefit the cohesion and harmony of this nation. Personally, I think all these are quite important, at least no less than the benefits of studying the unchanged human natures.


Besides, my second contention lies in the speaker’s claim that it’s an illusion that people in different historic periods vary. According to historic research, we could easily find that there are great differences among people in different ages, no matter in terms of traditions, culture, philosophical conception, values and attitudes, religious belief. Understanding such changing aspects in history also can benefit our society. Consider the historic study of marriage. （这句对不对？）Through extensive research on the history of marriage, how and why it evolve（单复数一致）, especially comparing the differences of marriage in different periods, can greatly improve our understanding of marriage and recognize the hidden factors that contribute to serious marriage problem in our contemporary society.（此段应该是在说明为什么你认为不同时代的人是有很大差别的，我觉得应该重点放在差别上，而不是你说的对比差别带来的好处上。）

In sum, it's unfair to narrow the benefits of studying history on just exploring constant human nature. History provides other equally or more important benefit towards our society. In addition, great differences among people in different periods do exist and studying of them can also benefit our society.


本人初学，一点意见，有待商榷。若有不足，请多指教。
一点点小意见，望指正，也请你有空帮我改改，谢谢。
issue31
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