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[a习作temp] 0910G【Try Best】第二小组 argument65 by CharlesHu [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-26 20:15:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
The argument is well-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. Based on the selling statistic of different kinds of cheeses at the company's newest store and the survey conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine, the president suggested discontinuing stocking many kinds of imported cheese and concentrating primarily on domestic cheeses. However, there are flaws in both the reasons above. So the suggestion is doubtable.
To begin, the five best-selling cheeses at the newest store can not represent the best-selling cheeses at all the stores of the company because the newest store could not reflect other stores. For example, if many of the newest stores are near Wisconsin where the cheddar cheeses are popular, or there are sales promotions in the newest store on the five kinds of cheeses, both of them would affect the selling of different kinds of cheeses. So it is hard to get the conclusion that the five best-selling cheeses are popular at other stores. What more, in order to increase the profits, both selling and profits margin are important. We can not be sure that the cheddar cheeses bring a high profit for the company. It is possible that the price of cheddar cheeses is low and the benefit it brings is not significant though having a good selling.
The second reason in the argument is the outcome of the survey by a magazine. First, how many people and what kind of people had been surveyed by the magazine? If the survey was conducted in special region not nationwide, and the people involved in the survey is limited. So, the survey needs scrutiny to check trustiness of the outcome.
To end, in order to reduce expenses and improve profits, the president's suggestion seems logical. But, he/she need to find out the cheeses favored by the customer in all the stores and review the objectiveness of the survey before optimizing the inventory.
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发表于 2009-7-3 04:37:55 |只看该作者
1# CharlesHu

The argument iswell-presented, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. Based on the sellingstatistic of different kinds of cheeses at the company's newest storeand the survey conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine, thepresident suggested discontinuing stocking many kinds of importedcheese and concentrating primarily on domestic cheeses. However, thereare flaws in both the reasons above. So the suggestion is doubtable.  开头要点都有了,总体不错,个人认为第一句有点多余。
To begin, the fivebest-selling cheeses at the newest store can not represent thebest-selling cheeses at all the stores of the company because thenewest store could not reflect other stores. For example, if many ofthe newest stores are near Wisconsin where the cheddar cheeses arepopular, or there are sales promotions in the newest store on the fivekinds of cheeses, both of them would affect the selling of differentkinds of cheeses. (这两个反例精彩)So it is hard to get the conclusion that the fivebest-selling cheeses are popular at other stores. What‘s more, in orderto increase the profits, both selling and profits margin are important.We can not be sure that the cheddar cheeses bring a high profit for thecompany. It is possible that the price of cheddar cheeses is low andthe benefit it brings is not significant though having a good selling.
The second reason in theargument is the outcome of the survey by a magazine. First, how manypeople and what kind of people had been surveyed by the magazine? Ifthe survey was conducted in special region not nationwide, and thepeople involved in the survey is limited. So, the survey needs scrutinyto check trustiness of the outcome.
To end, in order to reduceexpenses and improve profits, the president's suggestion seems logical.But, he/she needs to find out the cheeses favored by the customer in allthe stores and review the objectiveness of the survey before optimizingthe inventory.

两个if句(蓝色)有问题,第二个if句缺下半句。第一个,你的句式是if A or B,both A and B would ...,什么错误我说不上,反正很别扭。 可以改成:It might be the case that A, or that B, both of which would ...

总的来说,逻辑漏洞找的比较全,有一些一针见血的反例来驳斥arguer的结论,如果在这些反例的基础上多一些general的分析变更好,即给他的逻辑错误定性。

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RE: 0910G【Try Best】第二小组 argument65 by CharlesHu [修改]

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0910G【Try Best】第二小组 argument65 by CharlesHu
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