[YB-1]7月1日作业 by weenbopper

weenbopperUID: 2423595

Point: 1首先承认research很大程度上improve我们的生活
           (1)从成果上获利
           (2)过程本身也培养能力
          2在考虑研究的益处的时候,我们也同时需要在研究的时候考虑他的潜在危害
          3不能简单的用受益的人数来衡量研究 E:癌症的治疗受益不到1%,但却十分有意义
          4实际上,没人能够准确的说明受益人数的确切数字,从而使consideration失去了意义
Issue119. "When research priorities are being set for science, education, or any other area, the most important question to consider is: How many people's lives will be improved if the results are successful?"

Research, by cultivating our logical thinking and originality, by erecting a brand-new theory or by designing a wholesome technology, undoubtedly improves our lives; however, it also brings about considerable problems. In this sense I can hardly agree with this hasty and superficial statement that the amount of benefited people is the most crucial consideration for research, and my reasons are detailed as follow.

Admittedly, I have to concede that research made progress in our lives in a pace beyond anyone's imagination. Hardly can we imagine the daily commute without automobile, distant communication without mobile phone and modern offices without multifarious electronic equipments. Also, both the engine engineering and Internet, which boasting its significant role in prolong longevity and providing information respectively, is widely acknowledged as one of the most achievements in the last century. And these researches are just the tip of an iceberg. Moreover, research per se is a process to polish our social skills, such as logical analysis, critical thinking and creative porblem-solving.

Notwithstanding the foregoing benefits, the achievements of research often pose certain problems of its own that must be poured enough attention ever since its accomplishment. The statement brings immediately to mind the ever growing and increasingly serious environmental pollution. The gas discarded by our high-tech cars, the sewage discharged by the factories and the dust made by the manufacturer dragged us so far way from our previous clean and natural earth. If human continue this downward spiral it may be only a matter of time before our wonderful world turns into nightmare. Lending even more credence to the statement is the tricky engine engineering, which effectively expand our lifespan, at them same time, unfortunately brings about numerous inevitable ethnic problems. Adding credibility to the statement is the notorious Internet-based crimes, although make possible the readily available accessibility of information, it also increases the possibility of information leakage. Therefore, after accomplishing a research, we should consider on how to eliminate, or at least minimize, its side-effect.

Subsequently, never does a direct causal relationship exist between the number of benefited people and the greatness and attainments of the related research. An effective medication or cure for cancer, for instance, although only can help even less than 1% people in the world, would still be one of the greatest invention and breakthrough in human history, not only for going through this sinuous trip of research and its peerless position in medicine, but also for fulfilling the most fundamental obligation of research--to explore the unknown.

In addition, this number from the research or its technologies is too abstract and comprehensive to be exactly summarized through any methods. Hypothetically, take exact data of how many people will be facilitated as the most important standard, and limited resource calls for choice among supporting program in automobile, Internet and nuclear power plant. Since the considerable convenience some people would suggest automobile, some might maintain Internet’ importance for its mountainful capacity of information; still, some others would insist on nuclear power’s superiority over the others because of its brilliant future. Obviously, never can we obtain substantial figures even after their invention, not to mention in their incubating period, in which only supposed plans or expected projects are available.

In a nutshell, once considering researches, except for this prerequisite figure mentioned in the statement, their potential threatens, significance on research per se and human history, fulfillment on exploring the unknown, and some numerous aspects should be comprehensively taken into account.

Words count: 558
Time: 1H 5M

weenbopperUID: 2423595

A65. The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

In the analysis, the arguer claims that concentrating on domestic cheeses, at them same time, slashing the stock of many varieties on the imported counterpart is the best way to improve profits for the company. To substantial the conclusion, the arguer points out that the five best-selling cheeses in the newest store were all domestic one. In addition he cites the survey from Cheese of the World magazine to demonstrate an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. This tempting argument is vulnerable under careful consideration and analysis.

Firstly, the arguer makes a failure by simply judging the sales only from the top-selling. According to the cited studies, the Wisconsin made cheddar cheeses’ leading position in sales volume demonstrate the preference for domestic cheeses. Nevertheless, what if all the lists are followed by imported cheese. Understandably, it would highly possible still guarantee that imported cheeses maintain its priority in sales. Furthermore, even assuming the domestic one’s superiority in the newest store, the author’s claim that the success can be repeated elsewhere might nevertheless be unwarranted.

In addition, the arguer mixes the definition of direction and outcome—the increasing preference of domestic cheese is authentic according to the survey of the magazine; however we could not safely come to the greater market sharing of it. Hypothetically, the sales of domestic cheese is extremely low in the previous period, even possessing significant increase, it would remain relatively low.

Finally, the argument is based on a causal oversimplification. Actually, except for inventory, several other relevant factors may influence the expense. For instance, the unit price, the transportation charge, the price of material and so forth all affect the expense to some extent. Therefore, only judge from inventory is of little significance to whole expense.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically, the arguer would have to demonstrate the domestic cheese’s superiority of market share all round the nation. Additionally, the arguer must provide further solid evidence to assure the reduction in expense.

Words: 333
Time: 1h

第一次写A, 着实写的很纠结....

weenbopperUID: 2423595

今天A扫盲
对提纲好象还没什么感觉
明天努力完成提纲!!

autumnshangUID: 2596023

Point: 1首先承认research很大程度上improve我们的生活
           (1)从成果上获利
           (2)过程本身也培养能力
          2在考虑研究的益处的时候,我们也同时需要在研究的时候考虑他的潜在危害
          3不能简单的用受益的人数来衡量研究 E:癌症的治疗受益不到1%,但却十分有意义
          4实际上,没人能够准确的说明受益人数的确切数字,从而使consideration失去了意义
我觉得你的这个提纲不错，与一般的论点不同，但却有道理
Issue119. "When research priorities are being set for science, education, or any other area, the most important question to consider is: How many people's lives will be improved if the results are successful?"
Research, by cultivating our logical thinking and originality, by erecting a brand-new theory or by designing a wholesome technology, undoubtedly improves our lives; however, it also brings about considerable problems. In this sense I can hardly agree with this hasty and superficial statement that the amount of benefited people is the most crucial consideration for research, and my reasons are detailed as follow.
Admittedly, I have to concede that research made（make） progress in our lives in a pace beyond anyone's imagination. Hardly can we imagine the daily commute
without automobile, distant communication without mobile phone and modern offices without multifarious electronic equipments. Also, both the engine engineering(根据你后面的文字我猜你是想说biological engineering) and Internet, which boasting its significant role in prolong longevity and providing information respectively, is widely acknowledged as one of the most achievements in the last century. And these researches are just the tip of an iceberg. Moreover, research per se is a process to polish our social skills, such as logical analysis, critical thinking and creative porblem-solving.(problem-solving)
Notwithstanding the foregoing benefits, the achievements of research often pose certain problems of its own that must be poured enough attention ever since its accomplishment. The statement brings immediately to mind the ever growing and increasingly serious environmental pollution. The gas discarded by our high-tech cars, the sewage discharged by the factories and the dust made by the manufacturer dragged(drag,我觉得用一般现在时比较好) us so far way(away) from our previous clean and natural earth. If human（human beings） continue this downward spiral it may be only a matter of time before our wonderful world turns into nightmare. Lending even more credence to the statement is the tricky engine（biological） engineering, which effectively expand our lifespan, at them(the) same time, unfortunately brings about numerous inevitable ethnic problems. Adding credibility to the statement（这个statement是指的speaker的吗？如果是，下面的论据是反对作者观点的吧，而不是adding credibility） is the notorious Internet-based crimes, although make possible the readily available accessibility of information(倒装很好), it also increases the possibility of information leakage. Therefore, after accomplishing a research, we should consider on how to eliminate, or at least minimize, its side-effect.
Subsequently, never does a direct causal relationship exist between the number of benefited people and the greatness and attainments of the related research. An effective medication or cure for cancer, for instance, although only can help even less than 1% people in the world, would still be one of the greatest invention and breakthrough in human history, not only for going through this sinuous trip of research and its peerless position in medicine, but also for fulfilling the most fundamental obligation of research--to explore the unknown.
In addition, this number from the research or its technologies is too abstract and comprehensive to be exactly summarized through any methods. Hypothetically, take exact data of how many people will be facilitated as the most important standard, and limited resource calls for choice among supporting program in automobile, Internet and nuclear power plant. Since the considerable convenience some people would suggest automobile, some might maintain Internet’ importance for its mountainful(没查到这个单词) capacity of information; still, some others would insist on nuclear power’s superiority over the others because of its brilliant future. Obviously, never can we obtain substantial figures even after their invention, not to mention in their incubating period, in which only supposed plans or expected projects are available.
In a nutshell, once considering researches（research好像不可数）, except for this prerequisite figure mentioned in the statement, their potential threatens（可数嘛）, significance on research per se and human history, fulfillment on exploring the unknown, and some numerous（去掉some） aspects should be comprehensively taken into account.
Words count: 558
Time: 1H 5M
你这篇文章从语言和论证过程都很好，那些语言是你之前背过的吗？

weenbopperUID: 2423595

根据楼上修改意见,重新整理了.....


Issue119. "When research priorities are being set for science, education, or any other area, the most important question to consider is: How many people's lives will be improved if the results are successful?"

Research, by cultivating our logical thinking and originality, by erecting a brand-new theory or by designing a wholesome technology, undoubtedly improves our lives; however, it also brings about considerable problems. In this sense I can hardly agree with this hasty and superficial statement that the amount of benefited people is the most crucial consideration for research, and my reasons are detailed as follow.

Admittedly, I have to concede that research make progress in our lives in a pace beyond anyone's imagination. Hardly can we imagine the daily commute without automobile, distant communication without mobile phone and modern offices without multifarious electronic equipments. Also, both the gene engineering(这里想说的是基因工程,一下拼错了) and Internet, which boasting its significant role in prolonging longevity and providing information respectively, is widely acknowledged as the most achievements in the last century. And these researches are just the tip of an iceberg. Moreover, research per se is a process to polish our social skills, such as logical analysis, critical thinking and creative problem-solving

Notwithstanding the foregoing benefits, the achievements of research often pose certain problems of its own that must be poured enough attention ever since its accomplishment. The statement brings immediately to mind the ever growing and increasingly serious environmental pollution. The gas discarded by our high-tech cars, the sewage discharged by the factories and the dust made by the manufacturer drag(drag,我觉得用一般现在时比较好) us so far away from our previous clean and natural earth. If human continue this downward spiral it may be only a matter of time before our wonderful world turns into nightmare. Lending even more credence to the statement is the tricky gene engineering, which effectively expands our lifespan, at the same time, unfortunately brings about numerous inevitable ethnic problems. Adding credibility to the above statement is the notorious Internet-based crimes, although make possible the readily available accessibility of information(倒装很好), it also increases the possibility of information leakage. Therefore, after accomplishing a research, we should consider on how to eliminate, or at least minimize, its side-effect.

Subsequently, never does a direct causal relationship exist between the number of benefited people and the greatness and attainments of the related research. An effective medication or cure for cancer, for instance, although only can help even less than 1% people in the world, would still be one of the greatest invention and breakthrough in human history, not only for going through this sinuous trip of research and its peerless position in medicine, but also for fulfilling the most fundamental obligation of research--to explore the unknown.

In addition, this number from the research or its technologies is too abstract and comprehensive to be exactly summarized through any methods. Hypothetically, take exact data of how many people will be facilitated as the most important standard, and limited resource calls for choice among supporting program in automobile, Internet and nuclear power plant. Since the considerable convenience some people would suggest automobile, some might maintain Internet’ importance for its mountainful(没查到这个单词) (在红宝书中背的有多山的,和巨大的意思)capacity of information; still, some others would insist on nuclear power’s superiority over the others because of its brilliant future. Obviously, never can we obtain substantial figures even after their invention, not to mention in their incubating period, in which only supposed plans or expected projects are available.
In a nutshell, once considering researches, except for this prerequisite figure mentioned in the statement, their potential threaten（可数嘛）, significance on research per se and human history, fulfillment on exploring the unknown, and numerous（去掉some） other aspects should be comprehensively taken into account.
Words count: 558
Time: 1H 5M

P.S.:回楼上话
有些例子是我以前写T的时候总结的,现在又拿来在用
还有一些连接词语和句子主要是看的北美范文中的
见笑了,嘿嘿!!

autumnshangUID: 2596023

A65. The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

In the analysis, the arguer claims that concentrating on domestic cheeses, at them(the） same time, slashing the stock of many varieties on the imported counterpart is the best way to improve profits for the company. To substantial（substantiate） the conclusion, the arguer points out that the five best-selling cheeses in the newest store were all domestic one. In addition ，he cites the survey from Cheese of the World magazine to demonstrate an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. This tempting argument is vulnerable under careful consideration and analysis.

Firstly, the arguer makes a failure by simply judging the sales only from the top-selling. According to the cited studies, the Wisconsin made cheddar cheeses’ leading position in sales volume demonstrate the preference for domestic cheeses. Nevertheless, what if all the lists are followed by imported cheese. Understandably, it would highly possible still guarantee that imported cheeses maintain its priority in sales. Furthermore, even assuming the domestic one’s superiority in the newest store, the author’s claim that the success can be repeated elsewhere might nevertheless be unwarranted.（这段指出了两个逻辑错误，第一个是基于可能不具代表性的统计数据，第二个是认为某个个体的特征适用于该群体的所有成员，这段驳论，语言精练，要点全中）

In addition, the arguer mixes the definition of direction and outcome—the increasing preference of domestic cheese is authentic according to the survey of the magazine; however ，we could not safely come to the greater market sharing of it. Hypothetically, the sales of domestic cheese is extremely low in the previous period, even possessing significant increase, it would remain relatively low.（方向和结果混淆）

Finally, the argument is based on a causal oversimplification. Actually, except for inventory, several other relevant factors may influence the expense. For instance, the unit price, the transportation charge, the price of material and so forth all affect the expense to some extent. Therefore, only judge from inventory is of little significance to whole expense.（过于简单化的错误）

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically, the arguer would have to demonstrate the domestic cheese’s superiority of market share all round the nation. Additionally, the arguer must provide further solid evidence to assure the reduction in expense.

Words: 333
Time: 1h
貌似字数有的太少了，我觉得你上过新东方吧？我觉得还有一些明显的逻辑错误，就是杂志的订阅者的喜好不代表顾客的喜好，不过个人意见而已