[YB-2]7月1日作业 by sunxcint

sunxcintUID: 2654472

Issue 119

“When research priorities arebeing set for science, education, or any other area, the most importantquestion to consider is: How many people’s lives will be improved ifthe results are successful?”

提纲：
总观点：认同作者的观点，但是有几点需要得到关注
1) 开头
2) 肯定人们从中得到利益是评价科研的重要标准
3) 认为是谁来制定科研评价的标准也很重要
4) 基础科学的研究的成果不是很明显，
但是需要引起大家的重视
5) 结尾

Should the research priorities be decidedmostly by the benefits of the results of the research, as the speakerasserts?  While this statement as a total principle sounds perfect, inthe process of executing many details and exceptions should beconsidered carefully.

Admittedly, since the ultimate goal anddestination of  any research, no matter what subject it involves with,is to add richness to people's lives, one of the important thing to beconsidered when setting research priorities is the benefits it willbring to people. The advances inInformation technology faciliates andspeeds the communication among people greatly. One click on a computersecreen might accomplish a mission which  a person would evenspent  serveral days and a lot of money before. Thus, the research inthis domain has been given a high priority in the both levelof  private fundings and government. The progress in architecture,which is always been attached importance of , can improvepeople's  living conditions and beautify ourenvironment.Electronics,which provide the basis for countlessinnovations – CD players, Tvs, and computers,to name a few, isalso  the focus in research communty.

Nevertheless, who willdefine  the importance of benefits both make the decision of theresearch priority much more difficult. Different people on behalf ofdifferent interest groups might hold different , even totally contrary,arguments on the importance of some certain benefits. There is alsoobvious inherent danger of setting offical research priorities bygovernment, which involve the probable pragmatic and short-sightedbehaviors of the regulators to carter to the appeals of their votersand the associated corruption. A telling example is about the spreadingof academic corruption in China, where the administration is highycollected in the associated bureau of goverments. The general academicatmosphere there at the moment is shrouded by an over-eagerness toachieve quick successes and instant benefits, which leads to many casesof academic plagiarism and research fraud.

Pure research, orbasic research is the research carried out “for research's sake”, whichwill  improve lives of people not so directly and clearly as appliedresearch . However, pure research generates new ideas which appliedresearch takes  to create new inventions. Then, through development,the new inventions are transformed into commercial products.  So pureresearch is an exception that should be paid more attention to whenassigning the research priorities.

In sum, the speakeroverstates the importance of benefits  to people's lives when settingthe research priorites. Although I concede that it is absolutely amajor factor , such aspects as the people setting the priorities, thedefinition of attribution of research to the society, and pure reseachwhich will benefit people's lives  indiretly are also shoule beattached importance to by the decision makers of research priorities.

Argument 65



提纲：

从四个方面来写
1、新商店的例子：
    新商店是否有说服力
    去年的数据是否有说服力
    这些商店是否有代表性
2.杂志方面：
      杂志客户群是否与商店相同
      杂志的地域性
      杂志的权威性
3.存货与增加利润是否有必然联系
4.国内货与进口货的存储价格高低比较

Thisargument concludes that by stopping stocking varieties of importedcheese and concentrate primarily on domestic ones, the profits of thechain of cheese can be improved. To justify this conclusion theargument points out that the five best-selling cheeses at their neweststore and a recent survey by a magazine indicates that domestic cheesesare becoming more popular. The argument relies on a series ofunsubstantiated assumptions, which considered together render theargument wholly unconvincing.

Oneassumption is that the last year's statistic result of newest store canreflect the total domestic requirement. It is possible that the data ofthe main stores of the chain can be referred to make decisions.However, to a great extent the newest store ,in which there are alwaysa series of unstable factors such as customers, the experiences of newemployees, the source of the products, should not be categorized intothis class. Since the stores of the chain locates throughout thecountry, an important factor to be considered is the difference of theterritory. Consider, for example, the five store are all located in thesame state where habitants there prefers domestic cheeses. If it is so,the result is too trivial to be a sample to represent the overalldomestic situations . Moreover, the argument has not indicatedthat  whether the trend of the consuming habit of this year  has notchanged dramatically with last year.

Theauthor referred a survey in a magazine as consolidation of hisargument. Nevertheless, there is no basic introductions about themagazine, such as the authority of the magazine, the characteristicsof  its readers, the territories sold etc. Yet, it is entirelypossible, for example, that the readers of the magazine locates are indifferent social levels from the chain, or it is sold mainly in theeast coast, and that it is just a new emerging magazine this year. Anyone of above possibilities will weaken the conclusions that themagazines had drawn. Besides, the magazines only told us that therewere increasing preferences for domestic cheeses, which did not meanthat more of its subscriber would like to see the domestic cheeses astheir first choice.

A thirdassumption upon which the argument rests is that the reduce cost ininventory can improve profits in the chain. Although  reducinginventory may be a ideal way to limit cost, it is not certain that itwill bring more profits.  Imaging  that  the less inventory or out ofstock might result in dissatisfaction among significant customers andthen  mass customers churn. Thus, it is necessary for the president toexplain  the accurate relation between the cost of inventory and theimprovement of profits.

The finalproblem involve the way the author suggested to improve profits –tostop stocking some of imported cheese and concentrate on domesticcheeses. Conceding that limiting inventory could reduce expenses andthen improve profits,I cannot be convinced that it would be the bestway to obtain more profits,  unless the author can provide clearevidence that the stocking  cost of most of imported cheeses ishigher  than that of domestic cheeses.

Insum, the argument is logically unsound. To strengthen it the authormust show that most of the current customers would prefer for thedomestic cheeses, and that the income of the chain from those customerswere more than the customers who would like to buy the importedcheeses. To better assess the argument  it  better be certain that thepotential customers of this chain would mostly be the customers whowould choose domestic cheeses. I would also need more information aboutthe relation between the cost of inventory and the improvement profitsand the cost contrast between the domestic cheeses and imported ones.

lossingzoneUID: 2519545

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lossingzoneUID: 2519545

[YB-2]7月1日作业 by sunxcint
Issue 119

“When research priorities arebeing set for science, education, or any other area, the most importantquestion to consider is: How many people’s lives will be improved ifthe results are successful?”

提纲：
总观点：认同作者的观点，但是有几点需要得到关注
1) 开头
2) 肯定人们从中得到利益是评价科研的重要标准
3) 认为是谁来制定科研评价的标准也很重要
4) 基础科学的研究的成果不是很明显，
但是需要引起大家的重视
5) 结尾

Should the research priorities be decided mostly by the benefits of the results of the research, as the speaker asserts?  While this statement as a total principle sounds perfect, in the process of executing many（文中只论述了几种情况，也许改为some会妥当些） details and exceptions should be considered carefully.

Admittedly, since the ultimate goal and destination of  any research, no matter what subject it involves with,is to add richness to（不确定是否有这样的表达） people's lives, one of the important thing（问题是：题中强调的是most, 毫无疑问，benefits people的标准是极其重要的，但是我觉得应该围绕它是不是最重要来论述，而非“重要”） to be considered when setting research priorities is the benefits it will bring to people. The advances in Information technology faciliates and speeds the communication among people greatly. One click on a computer secreen might accomplish a mission which  a person would even spent  serveral days and a lot of money before. Thus, the research in this domain has been given a high priority in the both level of  private fundings and government. The progress in architecture,which is always been attached importance of , can improve people's  living conditions and beautify our environment.Electronics,which provide the basis for countless innovations – CD players, Tvs, and computers,to name a few, is also  the focus in research communty.
感觉并没有扣住“most”来论述，题目强调的是most important，因此，既然你赞同其观点，那么你的论述应该能够体现How many people’s lives will be improved ifthe results are successful?”是在确定优先顺序时最重要的标准，而不仅仅是重要；包括所举例子也是如此。
Nevertheless, who will define  the importance of benefits both make the decision of the research priority much more difficult. Different people on behalf of different interest groups might hold different , even totally contrary,arguments on the importance of some certain benefits. There is also obvious inherent danger of setting offical research priorities by government, which involve the probable pragmatic and short-sighted behaviors of the regulators to carter to the appeals of their voters and the associated corruption. A telling example is about the spreading of academic corruption in China, where the administration is highy collected in the associated bureau of goverments. The general academic atmosphere there at the moment is shrouded by an over-eagerness to achieve quick successes and instant benefits, which leads to many cases of academic plagiarism and research fraud.

Pure research, or basic research（额，我不确定是不是这样表达） is the research carried out “for research's sake”, which will  improve lives of people not so directly and clearly as applied research . However, pure research generates new ideas which applied research takes  to create new inventions. Then, through development,the new inventions are transformed into commercial products.  So pure research is an exception that should be paid more attention to when assigning the research priorities.

In sum, the speaker overstates the importance of benefits  to people's lives when settingthe research priorites. Although I concede that it is absolutely a major factor , such aspects as（改为aspects such as如何？） the people setting the priorities, the definition of attribution of research to the society, and pure reseach which will benefit people's lives  indiretly are also shoule be attached importance to by the decision makers of research priorities.
总体而言，我觉得这篇文章的主要问题在于没有紧扣主题去写，也许是在对题目的理解上出现了偏差。我觉得”most important”和”什么”most important”是非常值得注意的。题目说，”how many people’s lives will be improved....”是most important的。既然你认同题目的观点，那么，首先要拿到你的有力的论述和例证去阐述这种观点的正确性，然后，作为论证的严密性，才去说明还有其他的一些细节值得考虑。但是这篇文章并没抓住”most”这个字眼来写，行文之间也只简单论述了”...improve people’s lives...”的重要性，而非最重要的标准，然后详细论述其他需要考虑的，感觉没有抓住重点。
Argument 65



提纲：

从四个方面来写
1、新商店的例子：
    新商店是否有说服力
    去年的数据是否有说服力
    这些商店是否有代表性
2.杂志方面：
      杂志客户群是否与商店相同
      杂志的地域性
      杂志的权威性
3.存货与增加利润是否有必然联系
4.国内货与进口货的存储价格高低比较

This argument concludes that by stopping stocking varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic ones（文中原话最好不要照抄，换了其他的表达）, the profits of the chain of cheese can be improved. To justify this conclusion the argument（memo） points out that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store and a recent survey by a magazine indicates that domestic cheesesare becoming more popular. The argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, which considered together render the argument wholly unconvincing.

One assumption is that the last year's statistic result(不要result) of newest store can reflect the total domestic requirement. It is possible that the data ofthe main stores of the chain can be referred to make decisions.However, to a great extent the newest store ,in which there are always a series of unstable factors such as customers, the experiences of newemployees, the source of the products, should not be categorized into this class. Since the stores of the chain locates throughout the country, an important factor to be considered is the difference of the distribution. Consider, for example, the five stores are all located in the same state where habitants there prefers domestic cheeses. If it is so,the result is too trivial to be a sample to represent the overall domestic situations . Moreover, the argument has not indicated that  whether the trend of the consuming habit of this year  has not changed dramatically with last year.

转为另一个论述有个连接词比较好The author referred a survey in a magazine as consolidation of his argument. Nevertheless, there is no basic introductions about the magazine, such as the authority of the magazine, the characteristics of  its readers, the territories（改为district可否？） sold etc. Yet, it is entirely possible（感觉有点怪，不确定是否有这样的表达）, for example, that（不要that） the readers of the magazine locates are in different social levels from the chain, or it is sold mainly in the east coast, and that it is just a new emerging magazine this year. Anyone of above possibilities will (用weaken修饰conclusions?)weaken the conclusions that the magazines had drawn. Besides, the magazine(s) only told us that there were increasing preferences for domestic cheeses, which did not mean that more of its subscriber would like to see the domestic cheeses as their first choice.

A third(改为The third) assumption upon which the argument rests is that the reduce cost in inventory can improve profits in the chain. Although  reducing inventory may be a ideal way to limit cost, it is not certain that it will bring more profits.  Imaging  that  the less inventory or out of stock might result in dissatisfaction among significant customers and then  mass customers churn(??). Thus, it is necessary for the president to explain  the accurate relation between the cost of inventory and the improvement of profits.

The final problem involves the way the author suggested to improve profits –to stop stocking some of imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheeses. Conceding that(不确定是否可以这样表达) limiting inventory could reduce expenses and then improve profits,I cannot be convinced that it would be the bestway to obtain more profits,  unless the author can provide clear evidence that the stocking  cost of most of imported cheeses is higher  than that of domestic cheeses.

In sum, the argument（那不是argument,我用memo。我们写的才是argument） is logically unsound. To strengthen it the author must show that most of the current customers would prefer for（to） the domestic cheeses, and that the income of the chain from those customers were more than the customers who would like to buy the imported cheeses. To better assess the argument  it  better be certain that the potential customers of this chain would mostly be the customers who would choose domestic cheeses. I would also need more information about the relation between the cost of inventory and the improvement profits and the cost contrast between the domestic cheeses and imported ones.
(最后这段不够简洁，若能将这些意思提炼成更简洁的语句则更好)
觉得反驳点已经找得很不错，若能将结构组织得更好则文章会更出色。