[YB-1]7月10日作业by wangerdai

wangerdaiUID: 2586666

Argument 203
In this argument, the author advocates that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and effective than that in larger, for –profit hospitals. To support this conclusion, the arguer claims that the average length of a patient’s stay in Saluda(S), a nonprofit hospital, is shorter than that in Megaville(M), a large, for-profit hospital. Besides that, the cure rate in S is about twice that of M. Moreover, there are more employees per patient in S that M.
Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.
In the first place, the arguer compares the average length of a patient’s stay between the two hospitals. In fact, this result cannot demonstrate that S is more effective than M. Perhaps the most serious patients are willing to be treated in M, thus making the average length become longer. Or perhaps the doctors in S prefer to send patients to home before they completely recover to ensure sufficient beds and instruments. Without considering these possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any firm conclusion based on the average length of a patient’s stay.
In the second place, the argument compares the cure rate among patients in these two hospitals. However, the arguer failed to give any information about what kinds of disease in these two hospitals. Perhaps those patients with severe disease, such as cancer, stroke or diabetes, are willing to be treated in M, because of its advanced equipment and professional doctors in M. Perhaps those patients come to S just for tiny diseases, such as cold or stomachache. Although the cure rate in M is lower than that in S, we cannot draw a conclusion that M is less effective.
Last but not least, the auger acclaims that S is mort effective than M due to there are more employees per patients in S. Nevertheless, there is no guarantee that higher employee-patient ratio is equal to a more effective care. What really matter to the effectiveness is the capability of employees rather than the number. Maybe the employees in M are more professional and experienced than S, so not a big amount of employees is needed.
To sum up, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not base on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should provide more information concerning other possible factors contributing to treatment quality of these two kinds of hospitals.


Issue 30

Is the primary goal of technological advancement to increase people’s efficiency, thus making everyone have more leisure time, as the statement suggested? Admitted, with the advancing of technology, the society is becoming more and more convenience for people to have a vast amount of time. However, I fundamentally disagree with the statement because technology itself is just a tool we use to fulfill our living condition and environment and to meet the demand of understanding, not only to be leisure simply.

Admittedly, progress of technology is a road on which we travel from past fraught with impossibility and mystery to the future replete with diversification and possibility. Automobiles, trains and aircrafts reduce the time we spend on the trips drastically, thus realizing the dream of human beings about traveling around the world; Internet, multimedia and telephones sped up the communication to within minutes which could only happen over days and months before between different continents, integrating all the people in the planets to be one family. In a world, technology does serve to increase the work efficiency thus offer people more free time to do what they want to do.

Despite the merits of the speaker’s assertion, however, I disagree with the statement because the main goal to develop technology is not merely for leisure but to improve the living standard of the citizens. Besides that, we are confronted with many pressing problems springing from the progress of technology. With the pace of modern life, the environmental problem are agonizing the society every day and pose a huge threat on our human beings’ survival while we enjoying the fruits of industrialization and modernization; the Internet and computers bring about new crime and damage to society while emancipating us from heavy work and inconvenience; the multimedia and instant communication have sped up the communication, but conversely, the connections among people have been less and delicate. In my point of view, the advancement of technology has already proved that it is a two-edged sword; bring us both benefits and drawbacks.

Finally, perhaps most importantly, any technological advancement requires people to take time get familiar and get used to. So when people sharing greatly comfortable life and convenience of technological advancement, people meanwhile face more challenging problems, particularly, with the increasingly rapid pace of people’s life and work, many people have to spend much more spare time to learn newly-created knowledge and skills in order to keep themselves more competent and competitive to their positions, otherwise they will be obsolete. Take the technicians of high-tech sectors as an instance, it is especially true to them which is well known because rapidly pace of knowledge evolution, they have to learn new knowledge day and night, and some even live in office and go back home once a month, which is really appalling. As a result, in today’s society, under the pressure of fierce competition and the quick change of technology, people have a busier life because the technological development actually requires people to learn more and to do more.
In final analysis, the prime goal of technological advancement is just to let the people to lead
a better life both material and mentally rather than just to increase people’s efficiency, thus make people have more leisure time. Based on this, we have to discover the truth and learn the spirit and value from the all-sided consideration about the effect technology should act upon people. .

gig927UID: 2556746

Argument 203
In this argument, the author advocates that treatment in smaller, nonprofit hospitals is more economical and effective than that in larger, for –profit hospitals. To support this conclusion, the arguer claims that the average length of a patient’s stay in Saluda(S), a nonprofit hospital, is shorter than that in Megaville(M), a large, for-profit hospital. Besides that, the cure rate in S is about twice that of M. Moreover, there are more employees per patient in S that(than) M. Although this argument might seem reasonable at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument suffers from several critical flaws as follows.
In the first place, the arguer compares the average length of a patient’s stay between the two hospitals. In fact, this result cannot demonstrate that S is more effective than M. Perhaps the most serious patients are willing to be treated in M, thus making the average length become longer. Or perhaps the doctors in S prefer to send patients to home before they completely recover to ensure sufficient beds and instruments. Without considering these possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any firm conclusion based on the average length of a patient’s stay.
In the second place, the argument compares the cure rate among patients in these two hospitals. However, the arguer failed to give any information about what kinds of disease (mainly treated)in these two hospitals. Perhaps those patients with severe disease, such as cancer, stroke or diabetes, are willing to be treated in M, because of its advanced equipment and professional doctors in M. Perhaps those patients come to S just for tiny diseases, such as cold or stomachache. Although the cure rate in M is lower than that in S, we cannot draw a conclusion that M is less effective.
Last but not least, the auger acclaims that S is mort effective than M due to there are more employees per patients in S. Nevertheless, there is no guarantee that higher employee-patient ratio is equal to a more effective care. What really matter to the effectiveness is the capability of employees rather than the number. Maybe the employees in M are more professional and experienced than S, so not a big amount of employees is needed.
To sum up, the arguer’s argument mentioned above is not base on valid evidence or sound reasoning, neither of which is dispensable for a conclusive argument. In order to draw a better conclusion, the arguer should provide more information concerning other possible factors contributing to treatment quality of these two kinds of hospitals.
作者的驳斥很有道理，结构清晰，层层递进，语言简练自然，个人感觉是一篇不错的A ^_^

Issue 30

Is the primary goal of technological advancement （is）to increase people’s efficiency, thus making everyone have more leisure time, as the statement suggested? (建议这一个问句是不是拆分成两个会更好呢)Admitted, with the advancing（advancement） of technology, the society is becoming more and more convenience for people to have a vast amount of time. However, I fundamentally disagree with the statement because technology itself is just a tool we use to fulfill（improve） our living condition and environment and to meet the demand of understanding（acquiring knowledge）, not only to be leisure simply.（but the primary goal is not to be leisure simply.）

Admittedly, progress of technology is (like)a road on which we travel from past (is)fraught with impossibility and mystery to the future replete with diversification and possibility. (改on which we travel from past to the future is like going through impossibility and mystery to the diversification and possibility)Automobiles, trains and aircrafts reduce the time we spend on the trips drastically, thus realizing （thus technology realize）the dream of human beings about traveling around the world; Internet, multimedia and telephones sped(speed) up the (efficiency of)communication to (去掉to)within minutes which could only happen over days and months before between different continents, integrating all the people in the planets to be one family. （which后面那句话应该独立分开另起一句作为对比，这样强插这里，语法有问题，而且我感觉不太好改。。。）In a world, technology does serve to increase the work efficiency thus（thus是引领一个句子的，多次出现误用，作者最好google一下找到正确用法避免错误） offer people more free time to do what they want to do.

Despite the merits of the speaker’s assertion, however, I disagree with the statement because the main goal to develop technology is not merely for leisure but to improve the living standard of the citizens. Besides that, we are confronted with many pressing problems springing from the progress of technology. With the pace of modern life, the environmental problem are agonizing （agonizing用词不当吧）the society every day and pose a huge threat on（pose。。。直接写成threaten）  our human beings’ survival while we enjoying the fruits of industrialization and modernization; the Internet and computers bring about new crime and damage to society while emancipating us from heavy work and inconvenience; the multimedia and instant communication have sped （speed）up the communication, but conversely, the connections among people have been less and delicate. In my point of view, the advancement of technology has already proved that it is a two-edged sword; bring us both benefits and drawbacks.

Finally, perhaps most importantly, any technological advancement requires people to take time get familiar and get used to. So when people sharing greatly comfortable life and convenience of technological advancement, people meanwhile（meanwhile是做连词的。。。） face more challenging problems, particularly, with the increasingly rapid pace of people’s life and work, many people have to spend much more spare time to learn newly-created knowledge and skills in order to keep themselves more competent and competitive to their positions, otherwise they will be obsolete. Take the technicians of high-tech sectors as an instance, it is especially true to them which is well known because rapidly pace of knowledge evolution, they have to learn new knowledge day and night, and some even live in office and go back home once a month, which is really appalling. As a result, in today’s society, under the pressure of fierce competition and the quick change of technology, people have a busier life because the technological development actually requires people to learn more and to do more.
In final analysis, the prime goal of technological advancement is just to let the people to lead a better life both material and mentally rather than just to increase people’s efficiency, thus （用法。。。）make people have more leisure time. Based on this, we have to discover the truth and learn the spirit and value from the all-sided consideration about the effect technology should act upon people. .

这篇I不如上文的A，可能作者对I没进行修改吧，挺多语法错误的。还有一点每个论点作者讲的都不太深入，有点浅薄，而且第一第二点都大致是同样的内容重复，建议作者多注意逻辑联系关系。