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[i习作temp] Issue7【Triple Week】第2次练习by mymuro [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-14 21:01:45 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

WORDS: 454      TIME: 00:45:00     DATE: 2009-7-14 18:36:39



According to the speaker, the video camera become a more important way of documentation, for it can accurately and convincingly provide record of contemporary life. However, in my point of view, both the video cameras and written records play a vital role in recording the events. It may be advisable to select which one to be adopt depending on practical conditions and our needs



Indeed, the video camera does record in accurate and convincing way to memorize the phenomena as well as details in daily life. With the help of video cameras, people can receive completely objective and vivid information without being edited by anyone. No matter how experienced a journalist may be, it is impossible for him/her to objectively describe the flash when human first launched the moon, or atomic bomb blasted in Japan only using the written records. In law area, video cameras can supply convincing evidence admitted by legal proceedings while the written records sometimes may seem to be less convictive.



However, despite the advantages of video cameras mentioned above, the use of written records cannot be replaced in some respects. Although the video camera can be sufficiently vivid, the use of it is always limited by the environment in many situations. First, it is inconvenient for one to carry and it cannot work without adequate batteries. Consider a terrible environment such as the battlefield, how can one carry a video camera in action with no anxiety or gain sufficient batteries. Second, in specific condition, for instance, a secret conference, video cameras are not allowed to be taken in duo to the security required. Third, records taken by video cameras can only record the real scene and yet, it cannot give some comments which help people to understand and judge an event. As the reasons shown above, written records are sufficiently significant in some aspects.



In fact, whether video cameras act more importantly than written records also depends on the needs of people. If one is eager to watch a splendid match, may be a video record will be a wonderful choice for him/her. Yet, to sign agreement, written records will definitely be a suitable selection for people. In some cases, written record and video records can even supplement each other without conflict. Documentary is such kind of example in combining video with written records and showing spectators real sights through leading angle of view.



In the final analysis, the speaker, to some extent, ignores the significance of written records but overstates the importance of video cameras. Actually, both the video records and written records are necessary means to record the event. What we have to do is to choose a suitable way according to the environment which matches our needs.
既然是GRE,那么更是非杀不可

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发表于 2009-7-15 22:41:11 |显示全部楼层

According to the speaker, the video camera become a more important way of documentation, for it can accurately and convincingly provide record of contemporary life. However, in my point of view, both the video cameras and written records play a vital role in recording the events. It may be advisable to select which one to be adopt depending on practical conditions and our needs.



Indeed, the video camera does record in accurate and convincing way to memorize the phenomena as well as details in daily life.With the help of video cameras, people can receive completely objective and vivid information without being edited by anyone. No matter how experienced a journalist may be, it is impossible for him/her to objectively describe the flash when human first launched the moon, or atomic bomb blasted in Japan only using the written records. In law area, video cameras can supply convincing evidence admitted by legal proceedings while the written records sometimes may seem to be less convictive.



However, despite the advantages of video cameras mentioned above, the use of written records cannot be replaced in some respects. Although the video camera can be sufficiently vivid, the use of it is always limited by the environment in many situations. First, it is inconvenient for one to carry and it cannot work without adequate batteries. Consider a terrible environment such as the battlefield, how can one carry a video camera in action with no anxiety or gain sufficient batteries. Second, in specific condition, for instance, a secret conference, video cameras are not allowed to be taken in duo (due?) to the security required. Third, records taken by video cameras can only record the real scene and yet, it cannot give some comments which help people to understand and judge an event. As the reasons shown above, written records are sufficiently significant in some aspects.



In fact, whether video cameras act more importantly than written records also depends on the needs of people. If one is eager to watch a splendid match, may be a video record will be a wonderful choice for him/her. Yet, to sign agreement(用词新颖),written records will definitely be a suitable selection for people. In some cases, written record and video records can even supplement each other without conflict. Documentary is such kind of example in combining video with written records and showing spectators real sights through leading angle of view.



In the final analysis, the speaker, to some extent, ignores the significance of written records but overstates the importance of video cameras. Actually, both the video records and written records are necessary means to record the event. What we have to do is to choose a suitable way according to the environment which matches our needs.
找不出啥错误 咔咔

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发表于 2009-7-15 22:43:20 |显示全部楼层
因为改了几次- -!
主要看看论证合理不?例子是否恰当就可以了
既然是GRE,那么更是非杀不可

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发表于 2009-7-15 22:51:55 |显示全部楼层
呵呵 说明我还是很有鉴赏能力了 我觉得看别人写的作文 更能找出自己作文的不足 学习了

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AW活动特殊奖 AW小组活动奖 枫情万种 一帆枫顺

发表于 2009-7-15 23:02:09 |显示全部楼层
没错,改别人作文能学习不少
前提是水平别相差太大+_+
既然是GRE,那么更是非杀不可

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发表于 2009-7-15 23:30:53 |显示全部楼层
第二段的例子太过繁杂,可以卡掉一个,甚至是两个,需要拓展延伸一下第二段的内容,多有不当,还望海涵。。。
ps回复验证真有意思,顺便复习数学了。。。。

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AW活动特殊奖 AW小组活动奖 枫情万种 一帆枫顺

发表于 2009-7-16 06:31:01 |显示全部楼层
6# swdtt123
多谢指教,我也认为那两个没有再深入一点进行论述。。。
既然是GRE,那么更是非杀不可

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RE: Issue7【Triple Week】第2次练习by mymuro [修改]

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Issue7【Triple Week】第2次练习by mymuro
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-983870-1-1.html
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