argument101@@A dream@@小组第4次作业By小小amy

小小amyUID: 2541111

101The following appeared in a memo from the president of a company that makes breakfast cereals.
"In a recent study, subjects who ate soybeans大豆 at least five times per week had significantly lower cholesterol levels than subjects who ate no soy products. By fortifying our Wheat-O cereal with soy protein大豆蛋白, we can increase sales by appealing to additional consumers who are concerned about their health. This new version of Wheat-O should increase company profits and, at the same time, improve the health of our customers."

Nutrition gained Wheat-O cereal can increase the company profits and improve the health of cereal customers according to the suggestion of the memo. Superficially read it, comes out the reasonable inference, is a win-win proposal for the company. But as looking into the lines, the logic on the project seems to be flawed and unconvincing.

First of all, the study the president cited should be specified and improved. Subjects who ate soybeans don’t reply to which group of people, how many people take part in it, further more, we don’t even know the subjects are human or animals. Eating soybeans may not work the same on the youth and the old according to different body conditions, not to mention if the experiment taker is not human being. The experiment should contain contrast groups of the same amount, to study the specific effect how much soybeans can affect human body to decline the cholesterol level. If it doesn’t reach a certain level, why bother to add soy protein. So the cited point is not supporting the saying the new version of the cereal can lower people’s cholesterol level.

The foundation of the president’s analyzing is based on the soy protein of their Wheat-O cereal can provide the same function of the soybeans, that is, to keep cholesterol level lower. There is no evidence show that the soy protein is the exact part makes the cholesterol level as expected as soybeans do. Soybeans contain many nutrition inside, maybe the soy protein within it just play a part of the role. There is a possibility that adding soy protein only may be just a waste of cost and help the customer with nothing. If so, the fortifying of the cereal cost more and would not work out to gain profits. Will this be worthy to take adventure?

In addition, draw attention from more people who are concerned with their health act as if one of the goals on this proposal. It also has to put emphasize on the old consumers, which indicate that a survey is needed to detect what the health condition of the majority product buyer. If the outcome shows not so many people have problem with blood pressure and cholesterol level, this kind of action is redundancy. What’s more, people who had heath problem are not all concern about their cholesterol level. Whether the new cereal version can attract more people to buy is a question now.

In sum, the experiment used is not closely connected to the changing of the Wheat-O cereal on the condition the company has no idea whether the related consumers need or not. The soy protein may cost more and gain little to attract potential customers. The company should make more comprehensive research on the experiment and survey so that right goal can be made properly.

wobaobao519UID: 2605404

Nutrition gained Wheat-O cereal can increase the company profits and improve the health of cereal customers according to the suggestion of the memo. Superficially read it, comes out the reasonable inference, is a win-win proposal for the company. But as looking into the lines, the logic on the project seems to be flawed and unconvincing.

First of all, the study the president cited should be specified and improved. Subjects who ate soybeans don’t reply to which group of people, how many people take part in it, further more, we don’t even know the subjects are human or animals. Eating soybeans may not work the same on the youth and the old according to different body conditions, not to mention if the experiment taker is not human being. The experiment should contain contrast groups of the same amount, to study the specific effect how much soybeans can affect human body to decline the cholesterol level. If it doesn’t reach a certain level, why bother to add soy protein. So the cited point is not supporting the saying the new version of the cereal can lower people’s cholesterol level.（呃， 现在的很多版主都是推荐不要去攻击调，找出来了，https://bbs.gter.net/thread-968840-1-1.html看看吧）

The foundation of the president’s analyzing is based on the soy protein of their Wheat-O cereal can provide the same function of the soybeans, that is, to keep cholesterol level lower. There is no evidence show that the soy protein is the exact part makes the cholesterol level as expected as soybeans do. Soybeans contain many nutrition inside, maybe the soy protein within it just play a part of the role. There is a possibility that adding soy protein only may be just a waste of cost and help the customer with nothing. If so, the fortifying of the cereal cost more and would not work out to gain profits. Will this be worthy to take adventure?

In addition, draw attention from more people who are concerned with their health act as if one of the goals on this proposal. （可能我看的比较少吧，很少看到攻击的这个的~~~Argument攻击主要的对象是他们逻辑之间的关系）It also has to put emphasize on the old consumers, which indicate that a survey is needed to detect what the health condition of the majority product buyer. If the outcome shows not so many people have problem with blood pressure and cholesterol level, this kind of action （我觉得这里还是吧this指代的内容写出来吧， 因为前面几句你都没有提到）is redundancy. What’s more, people who had heath problem are not all concern about their cholesterol level. （这里我觉得家电分析会更好一些，指出问题了就要充分的分析~~，不要仅仅指出问题）Whether the new cereal version can attract more people to buy is a question now.

In sum, the experiment used is not closely connected to the changing of the Wheat-O cereal on the condition the company has no idea whether the related consumers need or not. （这句话是对全文的总结吗？觉得貌似不是很对）The soy protein may cost more and gain little to attract potential customers. The company should make more comprehensive research on the experiment and survey so that right goal can be made properly.

同样，你也知道我的语法了，对于你的语言表达我觉得我只有学习的份~~~我觉得你的文章如果掌握了AW写作的要点和关键就没有什么问题，而这些对于你来说并不是很难，多看一些指导的贴，形成对他们的认识，就可以了~~。
PS：哎，我还得苦熬啊~