argument186 by [728西安]小红莓

小红莓UID: 2641349

TOPIC: ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."
WORDS: 398
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-7-19 22:13:58

Merely based on the survey of automobile factory workers of different ages, which claims the older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity, the arguer concludes that if the printing company hires mainly older employees, they will increase productivity and save money because of reduced need for supervisors. However, a carefully analysis may reveals several critical flaws of the argument.

To begin with, the author fails to provide detailed information of the survey. Firstly, the total number and the separate numbers of different age’s workers of the subjects are not given, without which the survey may not be a reliable one. Secondly, the formation of the survey is also not given and the result of the survey is based on what the workers said, rather than what the author generated from his direct investigation. Perhaps the workers did not express their real thoughts because of the survey is raised by a familiar worker, or it is not an anonymous one.

Next, the author fails to provide the effectiveness of both older and younger employees, so the conclusion that the productivity would increased is unsoundness. If the younger employees are even more effective when they are at their worst condition, than the older that are at their best condition, the conclusion would be unconvincing. As a common sense, the young are always having more strength, energy than the old; it is likely that their effectiveness is higher than the old. Without given clear evidence that the young produce fewer productions than the old when a supervisor present, I could not convinced by the author.

Additionally, the author fails to prove that the company will save money. The author did not show that the older employees have lower pay than the young ones. If the old have the higher pay, the company would use the money saved from supervisors to pay the old employees. And without the supervisor, perhaps the quality of their products would decrease and fewer people would buy them, and as a result, they will lose the market and large amount of money.

To sum up, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author should provide clear evidence that the result of the survey could represent the real fact, and the productivity would increase and money could be saved if take the suggestion into reality.



少反驳了一个点：不同行业，情况不同

另外不知为何，argument的字数倒是越写越少了，很苦恼

ahngUID: 2605383

字数也不少了，到400字了，再加个小例子就又可以多50字了。关键要论证清楚就行，字数不必太在意。

还有阿，3段开头都是一个句式:L，最好变换下。。