Issue130【Triple Week】第5次练习by ahng

ahngUID: 2605383

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 659(735)          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-7-21 17:41:58

Topics about children are much controversial in the debate and most concerned by all the society. The statement above presents that today's socialization of children determines the destiny of society and we have not yet learnt how to raise the children. Yet I do not agree with it compeletely. In my point of view, how children are socialized is an important but not the only factor influencing our future society, and we still do not have a good understanding of how to raise them.

To begin with, it goes without saying that how children, who are the future of our society, are socialized definitely is important to the destiny of society. First, grow-ups are the main power of the society. How the society runs is the consequence of what the grow-ups are doing and what they are thinking of. That is to say, the grow-ups are the main factors that affect the way all people, children, adults, and the olds, live and communicate with each other in the society. Second, children will then be the hosts of our future society. Children are beloved and cared much by adults since they are the future. The human civilization is in fact going on by transferring the responsibilities from one generation to a next generation. Third, what the adults behave are mostly influenced by the situation and environment where they are socialized and contacted in childhood. For example, with deep investigation with the criminals, we may probably find that most of them suffer from a series of sadness or unhappy experiences, such as their parents' rude actions toward them or their hearts heavily hurt by partners and friends. In fact, what they experience when they are child is a important factor affecting their states of psychology, which can decide their actions in the future. Thus, the socialization of children is really important to the destiny of society.

Secondly, how they are socialized is not the only factor to the future society. Society is composed of various people, which contains all kinds of combination, communications and accidents. It is hard to predict the future of our society, since many other factors can also contribute to the formation of society. As we say that children should be well socialized in their childhood, it is also important for them to have fine socialization when they have grown up. Common sense tells us that people can always be changing in line with the environment and surroundings. Suppose a good child goes to somewhere there are many bad guys, who can assure that he/she will still insist in their original moral norms and standards? No one. On the other hand, as people are always associated with money, maybe they can keep the social standards in minds when they do not need to concern economical problems, but when they are extremely poor, due to the inherent of living and existing, they can probably go stealing or robbing. That's many reasons that causing the criminals disobeying the rules and the laws. In short, human beings are flexible. No one can tell what the future will be.

Last but not the least, i have to concede that we have not yet found any good way to raise the children today. Many parents now are placing much emphasis on the study of their children. Why they come up with such ideas? They want their children to be successful in the future and they think of success to be richness. As we know, knowledge is the power, knowledge is the money. But actually, they are wrong. How the children study is truly important, while how they are socialized as we discussed above is more important. To better raise the children, it is a necessity to make them develop in the round. But fortunately, we have already acknowledged this incorrect idea and we are trying to change. Several years before, in school, we only notice the results or grades what the children get. But now, our education is recommended to be more all-round development. Health, morality and the intelligence are all mentioned in our system of education, in which our children can be more promising.

In conclusion, the socialization of children today is really important in determining the future society but it is not the only case. And to better raise the children we should stress the all-round education and place more emphasis on develop the socialization of children.

newletter2002UID: 2653136

Topics about children are much controversial in the debate and most concerned by all the society. The statement above presents that today's socialization of children determines the destiny of society and we have not yet learnt how to raise the children. Yet I do not agree with it compeletely. In my point of view, how children are socialized is an important but not the only factor influencing our future society, and we still do not have a good understanding of how to raise them.（开门见山的表明自己部分同意的观点，八错）

To begin with, it goes without saying that how children, who are the future of our society, are socialized definitely is important to the destiny of society. First, grow-ups are the main power of the society. How the society runs is the consequence of what the grow-ups are doing and what they are thinking of. That is to say, the grow-ups are the main factors that affect the way all people, children, adults, and the olds, live and communicate with each other in the society. Second, children will then be the hosts of our future society. Children are beloved and cared much by adults since they are the future. The human civilization is in fact going on by transferring the responsibilities from one generation to a next generation.(from generation to generation) Third, what the adults behave are mostly influenced by the situation and environment where they are socialized and contacted in childhood. For example, with deep investigation with the criminals, we may probably find that most of them suffer from a series of sadness or unhappy experiences, such as their parents' rude actions toward them or their hearts heavily hurt by partners and friends. In fact, what they experience when they are child is a important factor affecting their states of psychology, which can decide their actions in the future. Thus, the socialization of children is really important to the destiny of society.(这一段说得够充分，终于知道这么多字是怎么写出来的 哈哈)

Secondly, how they are socialized is not the only factor to the future society. Society is composed of various people, which contains all kinds of combination, communications and accidents. It is hard to predict the future of our society, since many other factors can also contribute to the formation of society. As we say that children should be well socialized in their childhood, it is also important for them to have fine socialization when they have grown up. Common sense tells us that people can always be changing in line with the environment and surroundings. Suppose a good child goes to somewhere there are many bad guys, who can assure that he/she will still insist in their original moral norms and standards? No one. On the other hand, as people are always associated with money, maybe they can keep the social standards in minds when they do not need to concern economical problems, but when they are extremely poor, due to the inherent of living and existing, they can probably go stealing or robbing. That's(There are ) many reasons that causing the criminals disobeying the rules and the laws. In short, human beings are flexible. No one can tell what the future will be.(孩子的教育不是唯一的因素，那其他因素是什么，他们如何影响我们的未来社会，我觉得这一段说得不够切题)

Last but not the least, i have to concede that we have not yet found any good way to raise the children today. Many parents now are placing much emphasis on the study of their children. Why they come up with such ideas? They want their children to be successful in the future and they think of success to be richness. As we know, knowledge is the power, knowledge is the money. But actually, they are wrong. How the children study is truly important, while how they are socialized as we discussed above is more important. To better raise the children, it is a necessity to make them develop in the round. But fortunately, we have already acknowledged this incorrect idea and we are trying to change. Several years before, in school, we only notice（过去发生的吧？用pay close attention to 代替会不会比较好）the results or grades what the children get. But now, our education is recommended to be more all-round development. Health, morality and the intelligence are all mentioned in our system of education, in which our children can be more promising.

In conclusion, the socialization of children today is really important in determining the future society but it is not the only case. And to better raise the children we should stress the all-round education and place more emphasis on develop the socialization of children.

本文的三段正文分析的点是不错的，但是我觉得第二段的论据不够能说服人，
值得肯定的是文章的长度以及其论据的丰富度，要是语言能再用得地道点，就perfect了